Not Alone: 2022

[sanmagic7]

i agree w/ the assessment of placing the responsibility of telling your son what to expect.  as i've been reassured about many times, there are 2 people responsible for your kids' welfare - it doesn't totally fall on one parent.

well done at the bank.  so glad it went smoothly.  too many bad words to say about your hub right now so i'll send you love and a big hug instead.

[littlebluejay]

A lot of very hard, but important things. I'm sure it's bittersweet marking things off of the divorce to-do list. I can imagine it is a mix of deep grief and relief? So glad you were able to open a bank account and start talking about mortgages. That realm is so confusing and overwhelming, I'm glad you have support and someone at the bank that didn't belittle you like the attorney. I'm sorry your son had to handle that but I'm glad he has you

[Armee]

Full responsibility for failing to tell your son lies fully with H. I'm sorry that happened though. 

Yay for the bank going smoothly and respectfully and to you for taking a big step toward the next phase with the account and talking about a mortgage.

I agree with San about how you've been approaching this with grace and perseverance. 100% true. Yes.

[Not Alone]

  to all of you. I'm so grateful that you are walking with me on this journey.

H and I went through a few rooms in the house, talking about who wants what. I was really dreading it, but it wasn't too awful. It probably helped that I took a xanax before doing that! Also more conversation with H about next steps and finances. I refrained from getting into circular arguments.

I had to file a form in response to the divorce paper received from the sheriff. It is done online and the process was really complex. I hope that I did it correctly.

I emailed the realtor whom I talked to weeks ago. I'm still unsure about the timing of all this, but I would really like to find a place to live and get settled. I want to get out of the house. My job that starts in July will require a fair amount of preparation and there is only so much that I can do at one time.

[Not Alone]

I received an email saying I did something wrong on the form. I can't deal with it right now.

Conversation with the realtor was VERY discouraging. Basically, finding what I want in my price range, close to impossible. To add to that, I talked to the lender. I won't be able to get a mortgage until I've received 30 days of paycheck from my new job. That means looking for a place to live and moving while starting a new job that will require a great deal of my time and energy. It is too. much. This nightmare never ends.

[Armee]

 

I'm sure the mistakes happen all the time on those forms. They never make much sense.

I'm sorry that the moving process isn't going to align right. 

[sanmagic7]

notalone, i can't tell you the number of times i've made mistakes w/ online forms.  usually, i have to get my D to help me cuz i can't make sense of it.  i think you're brave to tackle it on your own like you did. 

as for your housing situation, it totally sucks.  all the ins and outs of requirements now are so awful.  i do hope you find something in your price range.  if not now, sometime soon.  absolutely with you as you go thru this.  i know this feeling.  love and hugs 

[Blueberry]

I'm sorry that the moving process isn't going to align right. 

 

[Not Alone]

I received an email saying I did something wrong on the form. I can't deal with it right now.

I spent about 40 minutes waiting for "chat" help. She said I had the wrong code. She didn't know the code. The phone number that she gave me said that they don't have the code. The court house closes at 3 p.m., so no one there to contact. Just looking at the process to fix this once I have a code is really complex. The system is ridiculous.

[Not Alone]

I have so much to do and feel like I should be productive. I'm feeling really overwhelmed. T.V. for me now.

[rainydiary]

Not Alone, I'm sorry for all the systems you are having to navigate at once, including those whose hours are during hours one needs to work.

[Blueberry]

I have so much to do and feel like I should be productive. I'm feeling really overwhelmed. T.V. for me now.

I imagine that watching TV is being productive for you rn since it's helping you regroup and regenerate. And giving you much -needed downtime. Same for me when lying in bed reading, doing crossword puzzles etc. I'm thankful there are always mbrs on here reminding me. Hoping my passing the message to you is helpful too. 

[CactusFlower]

Gentle hugs, notalone. Taking downtime when you need to is perfectly okay. I hope their ridiculous system works a bit better for you when you can get back there later.

[Not Alone]

Thank you, Rainy, Blueberry & Sage.

After more stress and three phone calls, I submitted divorce form and it was approved. Plus I had to pay money. 

Conversation with the realtor was VERY discouraging. Basically, finding what I want in my price range, close to impossible. To add to that, I talked to the lender. I won't be able to get a mortgage until I've received 30 days of paycheck from my new job. That means looking for a place to live and moving while starting a new job that will require a great deal of my time and energy. It is too. much. This nightmare never ends.

Besides those conversations, I spoke to our financial advisor. He gently suggested renting for a year.

Throughout this nightmare, the hope that I've held onto of having a safe place on my own has been crushed. The thought of trying to find a place, which will be super hard in this market, while starting my new job. . . just the thought makes me ill. The thought of renting hooks into some things with the Littles and the alarms of UNSAFE!!!! are going off. No matter what I do, I lose. Defeated.

DEFEATED

[rainydiary]

Not Alone, I wish it wasn't so much all the time.