Not Alone: 2022

[Armee]

 

It sure is a lot to feel anxious about. Rest assured, you've got this, Not Alone, as scary as it is. You're going to do great at your new job and you're going to find your sense of peace and safety once H is gone.

[sanmagic7]

i agree - it's a lot to feel anxious about.  one day at a time, ok?  so very sorry you're having to go thru all this.  i'm glad you'll have your son w/ you.  love and hugs

[Not Alone]

Thank you, Armee and San. 

I messed up at work. After getting it straightened out (I think), I continued with my tasks. I realized the I wasn't spiraling after making a mistake at work. Phew!

[rainydiary]

I applaud the not spiraling - I am learning that too and noticing when it happens differently feels like a step in the right direction. 

[Moondance]

  Hi Not Alone,

Wow, thank you for sharing not spiraling after a mistake.  That is wonderful Not Alone.
I can't even imagine that.

I stand with you during this time of big changes Not Alone.

A safe virtual if that is okay

[Not Alone]

Thank you, Rainy. It is a step in the right direction.

Moondance, thank you for your encouragement. I appreciate you standing with me during this time. I'm happy to receive hugs.

[Armee]

I'm so proud of you for letting the mistake stay that - just a small human mistake. That's really a huge thing. 

[Not Alone]

Thanks, Armee. 

[sanmagic7]

well done, notalone!  keeping yourself from spiraling is a truly big deal, to my mind.  love and hugs

[Not Alone]

Thank you, San.


Regarding new position beginning in mid-July, when someone says:
"Have you looked at . . . . . . .yet?"     or
"It'll be here before you know it."
I feel more intensely overwhelmed, inadequate, and fearful. Then I get to the point where I can't move forward, because I'm frozen. The comments are innocent. Most people have no idea that I have cPTSD and that with a new job and divorce, my anxiety level is living at 6-7 on a scale of 10. Those comments propel me to a nine or ten.

Thank you, friends for understanding. I know that you get it.

[sanmagic7]

i do get it, notalone.  it's hard enough to function under stressors like you're experiencing right now w/o people bringing up future ones.  we're here with you.  love and many hugs

[Not Alone]

Thank you, San.

Those comments propel me to a nine or ten.

I'm still feeling overwhelmed from the comments yesterday. To add to those feelings, I went to the bank with ex-H to take my name off the checking account. I deposited money that he owed me into my account. That is more painful tearing of the relationship.

I have gained so much weight through the divorce journey that I have few clothes that fit me. I shopped for more clothing. That was discouraging. More overwhelm.

I have so much to do. I took a xanax in hope that it would take enough of the anxiety away that I could function and think. I just want to curl up and sleep.

[Moondance]

Hi Not Alone,

I have so much to do. I took a xanax in hope that it would take enough of the anxiety away that I could function and think. I just want to curl up and sleep.

I can so relate to that, - too much of anything makes me feel that way. 

[Armee]

 

[Not Alone]

Thank you, Moondance and Armee.


I did end up sleeping for a few hours.

I got some things done after that. I'm trying not to think about all that needs to be done. It's overwhelming. It is hard to stay in "one step at a time."