eye contact *possible trigger*

[Phoebes]

I very much have this issue and am often concerned about it. Recently I saw a YouTube in my suggestions that was saying that a sign someone is a narcissist is that they rarely make eye contact! That triggered me so bad..it had me thinking, again, that maybe I'M the narcissist.

I've had a couple of memorable and horrifying things happen in this regard..an older cousin, in front of other family members made a comment that I was looking at his crotch...what! But, I may have been but completely blanked out. I certainly was not thinking of that.

Another former friend said I was staring at her fat..what! Again, completely blanked out I just was unaware of what I was doing.

It's been a few years since any of that so I at least make sure I'm not staring at body parts now. But I do know I am often looking away when speaking, and then feel shame after almost every conversation, especially with new people, or people I care to know. I'm usually thinking well there goes my chance at a normal interaction around them..they already know I struggle to connect..sigh.

[Regardz]

Hi Phoebes. I also have some issues with eye contact. I think I'm better but I know my eyes dart all over the place. I didn't dare make eye contact with my mom when she was mad. It could mean a punch to the head or slap in the face.

As a kid I struggled with having a frozen face especially around other kids in school. I could barely say hello and smiling was often impossible. I know some people thought I was a snob. I was just terrified of being ridiculed or bullied or made fun of.