Intro

[Sadboy]

Hi. I was raised by emotionally disturbed low income uneducated parents. Physical/verbal abuse was the norm and living conditions were unimaginable. Not a single good/pleasant memory comes to my mind. They were different in styles. He was the aggressor and she was the "victim" but later in life I realized how manipulative she was and how blind I was. In hindsight I can now see how she used blame, guilt, shame, impossible expectations to manipulate my way of thinking. I forgive them, although we don't keep in touch. Now I have a 6 and 2 year old and it is very hard for me to stop feeling down. I think I am doing ok as a parent since I do the opposite of what my parents did and more importantly, they seem happy and loved. But it is becoming extremely hard to avoid flashbacks as my older son grows to an age I can remember. As older he gets, the more pain I feel because it reminds me of when I was his age.

[rainydiary]

I am glad you are here.  I hope you find things here that support you in your journey.

[Bach]

Welcome to the forum, Sadboy  This is a good place, with people who understand and believe and care. I hope you find helpful things here.

[Kizzie]

Welcome to OOTS Sadboy    I hope you find some good support here.

[Sadboy]

Thank you all for the encouragement

[Armee]

Hi there, welcome to the forum. It's really a great feeling to be able to break the cycle with our own kids. And hard to do with not ideal backgrounds. I didn't recognize I needed help until my oldest was 10 so I think it's really encouraging that you already see so much and will have more power to be there for them and yourself.

[Not Alone]

Sadboy, welcome to OOTS.