Love unconditional

[Mary Ann]

Love unconditional passed me by
The closest I get is 'Regard',
Which is positive, it's only conditions
Are that it's paid for, and time limited
A second best cold comfort
Treating cancer with aspirin
But I cannot do without it
I don't fall with relief into open arms
I make an appointment and be grateful
Though my bones are sick with grief.

Love unconditional passed me by
Wish i could say the same for fear
Which grows within me, an affliction
I was born with, it shapes my being
Colours my thinking
Puts its stamp on every aspect
Every child I bear, the man I sleep with
The friend I meet for coffee
No bond is secure,
Or goes untouched by this shadow

Love unconditional passed me by
That vaccine that mitigates trauma
I was left to grow twisted with the full brunt
Of the many hurts that came my way
To suffer sickness  of others forced upon me
From ones who should have cared, but didn't
Some days i look in perfect health
But I'm only in remission, because
I didn't feel safe in my Mothers arms,
Theres no safety for me anywhere .

[paul72]

omg I love this Mary Ann 
I'm sorry that unconditional love passed you by.
It reminds me of a song I always related to "please don't pass me by".... but this is even more poetic and meaningful.
Your words drip with pain and loss and yet somehow become beautiful prose. Not sure how you do it but thank you for sharing it!

[Mary Ann]

Thanks so much for the feedback, and it's really kind of you .
I posted this, though I'm not 100% sure it's finished, I may edit at some point.
I wanted to write a shorter length poem than I usually do.
Hopefully I'm joining a creative writing group soon, for survivors.
Something I I'd never thought I'd be able to do...I'm looking forward to it but I'm nervous. Hope I get to join and nothing goes wrong (you never know)
At any rate it'll give me something different to write about in my journal!
Thanks again 🙂