When therapy disturbs the spouse, what to do??

[Redwing1972]

Hi all...
this post  isn't about therapy per se but how my spouse reacts to what I may be going through at any time. I am the caregiver to my wife who has a number of immune system diseases, but who can still function. I have been doing SE therapy for 4 years now, I am much improved, my nervous system has been reborn, I am so calm and relaxed most of the time it is wonderful. However I have this rather large issue of not being able to feel emotion in my body, only in my head. I cry easily and am empathetic and compassionate. however I am basically numb emotionally from my neck to groin. I have a hard time expressing and receiving love/compliments etc, its a little better, but still pretty blocked.

Anyway, last session I had the  therapist suggested we finally deal with the nasty emotional incest and physical sexual abuse I suffered as a young boy. OK with me, and to prepare myself I started to write a journal around the abuse and read a few books dealing with this...
Spouse has not been too happy around me as I have been totally engrossed by this, as I am hoping that dealing with this will unlock my frozen emotions. Today we had a bit of a chat about it, she gets very lonely and needy when I spend most of my time doing my therapy and not being available.
I am stumped, not sure what to do. I know that on one level part of me feels like the child again living with the shut off parents...
anyway, would appreciate any thoughts, feedback, suggestions...

Redwing

[Kizzie]

Redwing, so sorry there weren't any replies to your post. Just wanted to pass along that my symptoms have really flared recently and it has been causing issues for my H understandably.  He is going to get a referral from our GP to see a therapist so he has support for the disruption in our relationship.

Perhaps your wife could do the same? 

[sanmagic7]

i agree w/ kizzie.  perhaps, if your wife could get involved in an online support group of some kind, or therapeutic support, it would be easier for her to understand why you're doing what you're doing, besides having some of her social needs met at the same time.  i, too, have suffered emotional numbness, and it's only been by going thru some of the most difficult parts of my life that i've made any progress.  best to both of you with this.  love and hugs 

[Papa Coco]

Redwing,

I'm so sorry to see that your post was written in June and it's August now. I wasn't active on the forum until just a few weeks ago, and so I'm very late to respond.

My wife and I have had this same struggle. She has had to acclimate to my therapy needs over time, but she's there now. At first she would get angry with me that I didn't tell her what my Therapist and I were talking about. There was some uneasiness in her about me being in someone else's care. I think, in our case, the biology of the brain in couples was at play. She was my soulmate partner, and I was expressing my deepest fears to someone other than her. She always tried to understand what I go through. She has no memories of ever being sexually abused as a child, so she struggles to really grasp what I go through after my past.

Anyway, If you are still on the forum, and still working through this, I'd like to engage with you around how it's going. Is she feeling better with your therapy by now? Or are things still the same?