Political Leaders with NPD

[Kizzie]

I haven't been feeling well due to anxiety for a few months but have to say yesterday there was a bright spot.  Another malignant N leader is going, going, gone!  Yes, Boris Johnson is going to resign finally after losing 3 cabinet ministers and 40 some MPs.  That's what it took to get rid of him.  Speaks to how N's keep abusing power and people without shame because of their NPD.  It's a protective shield that we all have to get wise to and stop electing them.   

The same thing happened in the province I live in in Canada.  The Premier is an N, promised the moon, couldn't deliver and got voted out by his own party.  Too bad the same didn't hold true for Trump. If any leader needed to go because they weren't mentally or morally fit it was him. 

This isn't about politics by the way, it's a comment on politicians who suffer from NPD and the abuse they can inflict once in power. Anyone who grew up with an N can spot them a mile away and politics seem to attract them sadly.  They can talk a good story and be charming as * when they want to, but underneath it's all about them, what they want. We see that right away whereas many others fall for it.

Anyway, not to add to my anxiety, this was supposed to be all about celebrating a big victory against N abuse so I'll just focus on relishing that. 

[Blueberry]

Haven't checked any news today. So Boris Johnson (a stage name btw, actual given name Alexander, I believe) is finally going?!? 
Not that I live in the UK anymore, but still I am sort of British and, yeah, just one less N on the world stage   Not politics either - just good to get Ns out of the limelight, stop either people being triggered by them or other people being inspired to emulate and develop/produce more Ns. Good to get them out of positions of power, whether parent over child or leader of a country over the populace.

[Kizzie]

He has indeed resigned and not a shred of contrition as one would expect of an N.  Anyway, let there be dancing in the streets.     

Sadly, N's are so good at manipulating people, telling what they want to hear to get elected that I fear we will see many more like Boris and Donald.  Sometimes I feel like we N abuse survivors should form an international coalition and when a country is about to pick an N for leader we all join in in a YouTube video or Zoom call and together yell, "No, don't elect X, they're a Narcissist and you will suffer!"   

[Gromit]

Didn't expect to find any comments on here about BJ. Being British I am thoroughly glad to see the back of a person who should not have been an MP, let alone PM.

G

[Kizzie]

Lots of members here from the UK Gromit so you are in very good company.   

[Papa Coco]

I have a policy of always talking about how to spot and avoid NPDs and sociopaths. I constantly refer people to the book The Sociopath Next Door by Dr. Martha Stout.  My goal is to try and try and try to educate people on what a sociopath is, and how unbelievably one-dimensional they are so that people will STOP LISTENING TO THEM! All you have to do to avoid them, is don't engage. Just DON'T ENGAGE. Walk away while they're talking. Their heads will explode.

I'm sick of people calling them "Evil geniuses" and "crazy like a fox." NO!  They're evil, soulless idiots who haven't evolved one day past the cave. They are simply the most predictable wild animal of them all. They always behave exactly the same as all others.  Emotionally they never evolve past 3 years of age. They're an entire segment of the population that is stuck at 3 years old.

I say, "Mankind is evolving from the cave to space, but we're not all evolving at the same speed."

[dollyvee]

I was listening to a podcast last week on psychedelics and IFS with Robert Falconer who I think is a bad *  and he said something that stuck out:

We're basically living in an open air insane asylum and the craziest people are running the show (at governments & universities etc), and he doesn't expect that he can change that. He tries to put blinders on and think, ok there's people suffering in  front of me. How can I help them?

I thought that was a very apt way to look at it.

[Kizzie]

Honestly, this is a major fear of mine and I suspect it will come up in Ketamine therapy; that is, N people getting into leadership and not enough people recognizing how dangerous they are. We know how charming they can be, how they will lie cheat and do whatever to get into power, but what scares me more is the people who vote for them.  There is a segment of the  population as we've seen in most countries  who don't seem to understand or care that democracies will suffer and possibly collapse if left in the hands of N leaders. 

They are the people who are out for themselves, are all about power and control, lack a moral compass and empathy. They connect on social media and that gives them power and voice. so they are showing up more and more in our societies.    Maybe we should be glad we know they're there but they scare me. We know what Ns are like and if/when they connect and get into power our democracies are in real trouble.  Look what happened and is happening in the US, and Sweden just elected a far right leader.

So I agree with spreading the word Papa whenever and however we can to educate others about how dangerous these people are.   

[dollyvee]

I agree Kizzie but at the same time I also feel helpless, powerless whatever you want to label it to stop it from happening.

I was going to write about it elsewhere but a video of Prince Andrew showed up this week on Reddit and other places of he and his daughter Eugenie laying flowers for the Queen. I won't go into details, and those who want to find the video can, but it was very apparent how inappropriate his touch was. I spoke with several people who also saw it and were disgusted by it. I did a search to see what papers reported it - two. A Newsweek article said something about how the touch "raised eyebrows" and something by a South African paper. Nothing in the UK. Although, the arrest of a protester calling Andrew a dirty nonce or something similar made national headlines. It makes it worse that the Queen basically protected him and no one can address that. He's also been reappointed as PC's advisor I believe. It's just unfathomable that these people set a precedence for the rest of us but it's happening.   

[Papa Coco]

Kizzie, I agree with you,

I avoid watching the news, I took myself off facebook in March. I don't talk politics with anyone, and I stay in a bubble of blissful ignorance because Narcissists trigger me so fast I can't take it.  My anxiety levels dropped to nothing after I stopped allowing people to talk to me about the current threat of sociopaths in government. I have to be very careful with the news. I needed to start watching it again due to the wildfires that were threatening my own home and the homes of both my children. But I keep my finger on the remote, ready to turn off the news the SECOND they bring up bad cops, bad politicians, anything trump.

I only found out the queen died because people on this forum were talking about it. I don't follow any news other than fires and whatever I overhear from other's talking.

I still deal with depression, but I haven't had much anxiety since turning off the news in March.

I have to be careful what movies I watch, or books I read, because way too many stories ever written have a narcissist in the center of them. Some stories give the hero a chance, but other stories give the narcissist too much air time, and those movies have to be turned off before I start to shake and yell at the TV.

I am an avid fan of documentaries about past sociopaths. Serial killers. Former war leaders. People who kill for money or sex or power. I'm infatuated with sociopathy as I try to figure out if these monsters are even human, or if they are some sort of alien spawn that was put here to keep us from being too happy. BUT my studies on sociopathy can't allow me to get caught up in any current, unfixable dramas happening now. I need to be a student OF sociopathy, NOT a current victim.

Narcissists TOOK my last nerve ending and crushed it. I can laugh at them and study them, and teach others about them once they're no longer a threat. But if they are a current threat, as is trump and all his half-witted supporters, then I can't even be near stories about them if I want to stave off serious, life-threatening anxiety.

Summary: I put my own chronic anxiety into remission by taking myself OFF the news, OFF Facebook, OFF my FOO, and OFF any conversations about the news or Facebook.

[Blueberry]

I was going to write about it elsewhere but a video of Prince Andrew showed up this week on Reddit and other places of he and his daughter Eugenie laying flowers for the Queen.

Gag and choke. I've just watched it.
That was sort of some of what was done to me in the CSA line and I know it did a lot of harm   And I know millions of people in the UK and elsewhere will see Andrew and think it's OK if he's doing it. Obviously not everybody but it is the sort of thing that would reinforce the idea of 'that's OK, it's our culture' in my FOO mbrs of that generation. My FOO is British btw.

[dollyvee]

I'm so sorry Blueberry. That's why I find it so infuriating, saddening, all of those things is because it has very real consequences for the people who have to experience it and it should NEVER be allowed to happen. Ever.

To me, it's the silence as well that's complicit in allowing it to happen with the newspapers not calling it out and punishing it. I think the fallout is much worse by allowing it to happen than the identity crisis that comes with making the royal family be accountable. But again, I feel like I'm just one voice.

PC - it's great you found a way to manage the anxiety that comes from the news and care for yourself. It's good to recognize that you don't need that stuff in your life that triggers you.

[Blueberry]

But again, I feel like I'm just one voice.

At least you no longer are 'just one voice'. There are at least 2 of us here on OOTS but I suspect more. And it was being called out on Reddit and at least 2 media outlets. That's not a lot, but it's a start!

To me, it's the silence as well that's complicit in allowing it to happen with the newspapers not calling it out and punishing it. I think the fallout is much worse by allowing it to happen than the identity crisis that comes with making the royal family be accountable.

It's like in our own FOOs that whatever type of abuse or neglect is going on is allowed to continue so that those that ought to be held accountable don't have some sort of breakdown. The abused/neglected is seen as somehow expendable by the family or group as a whole. I warned my sibs about the CSA before their children were born. They 'don't remember' though it happened to them too but one warned me to never tell the perpetrator because she might commit suicide. Apart from saying that I think that's very unlikely, I thought to myself "And ME? What about me? Ever considered my past might be enough for me to want to commit suicide??" I guess not. Note: that conversation was a long time ago and I'm not suicidal at all anymore. But it's just the ugh - gotta protect the wrong-doer from their feelings

And anyway re: the Royal Family - they need to look at a few issues anyway imho. They've managed crises before like the Queen's annus horribilis, they should be able and willing to manage another one or two.

[dollyvee]

At least you no longer are 'just one voice'. There are at least 2 of us here on OOTS but I suspect more. And it was being called out on Reddit and at least 2 media outlets. That's not a lot, but it's a start!

You are right Blueberry. This is a good place for similar minded people. Watching it unfold though, with the funeral etc just feels like watching an alternate reality happen.

I'm sorry too that your family members didn't listen to you. Well, not just didn't listen to you but basically denied your experience. That's a very harsh thing to have happen and even more so regarding the subject matter. I hope you have distance from those people and it was not an appropriate response to what you were telling them. I'm sorry too that they potentially allowed it to happen to someone else.

I'm familiar with that and feeling like you're speaking the truth but no one's listening. Maybe that's why I'm still reeling over that video.  Also, maybe why I relate so much to what Robert Falconer said about just focusing on the suffering in front of you that you can help with because I (and others) have been through experiences where we felt like we telling people, or screaming it from the rooftops really, about what is/was going on and people didn't want to/couldn't/wouldn't listen for whatever reason.

[Kizzie]

I don't read or watch much of the news these days but I have seen more stories than ever before about the Royal Family and colonialism which = oppression and abuse no matter how it is prettied up with flags and ceremonies and seemingly good intentions. Colonizing is really just a case of taking what isn't yours.

The RF is another example of just how difficult it is/has been to recognize abuse when it is cloaked behind 'goodness' and given a certain immunity like the church for example.  And you're so right BB, most of us have gone along with "it's just the ugh - gotta protect the wrong-doer from their feelings" for a variety of reasons. 

Maybe that less true than it used to be though. I know on a couple of trips by the royals to various colonies over the past year or so they were not spared from having to talk about colonialism - awkward!  And while I see Prince Andrew is worming his way back into some aspects of his former life, I wonder to what extent he will be accepted again. Hopefully he's tainted forever with the ick factor that renders him untouchable as a Royal at the very least.