[Kizzie]

So I had an appointment for therapy yesterday with a psychologist at the clinic I am hoping to get Ketamine  treatment at.

Just to recap, I managed to convince my GP that the clinic was legit, led by a psychiatrist and staffed by psychologists (many who are trained in trauma), and advanced care paramedics,  and that there is research data demonstrating it is helpful for people with PTSD/CPTSD. She is going to clear me to get the treatment but first I need to get my blood pressure down as high BP is a contraindication for the treatment. I started the med this week and am beginning to see lower readings but it may be a week or two before it stabilizes enough to clear me.

The therapist did know about Complex PTSD - hurrah! She got everything I told her - what a good feeling. She is going to start the paperwork for treatment rather than wait until I have the actual clearance my GP.  That will reduce any delay getting an appointment as they have a waiting list.  I will be assessed by a psychiatrist, will get labs done including an ECG, and I will have prep sessions with her. I feel so much safer knowing they take a lot of precautions.

I guess the prep sessions involve formulating what you intend (hope) to get from the treatment.  Apparently if you know what you want it makes difference as to what you get out of it versus just going where the medication takes you. An example would be intentionally tapping into and igniting your protective and/or nurturing self to help you recover and live a more positive life.  Well I am down with that that's for sure. 

She said she has seen some good results with those who have CPTSD and PTSD but of course warned me to be cautious about my expectations in case it does not work well for me.  That's going to be hard I admit.

[Kizzie]

So what a day yesterday.  I had my call with my GP and she agreed to me reducing off Zoloft entirely and very slowly.  she called a compounding pharmacy and ordered it in liquid form for me so I didn't have to try and figure out doing so with capsules and powder.  She is in agreement that first I reduce the SSSRI (Zoloft), then the benzo (Lorazepam) and then the sleeping pill (Zolpidem), one at a time and each slowly.

She also increased my blood pressure medication so we can get it to where it needs to be for me to do the ketamine therapy.

I'm hopefully anxious if that makes sense. 

[paul72]

Hi Kizzie
That's good you have your GP's support.
Hopefully anxious is about as good as it gets sometimes but congratulations on this path forward being available.

[Kizzie]

Tks Phil, BP was spot on when I just took it now - first time in IDK how long.    What a strangely lovely feeling that was.   

I'm picking up the titrated Zoloft today so will start that tomorrow. 

I also just now  got a note from my GP saying my labs from yesterday came back good.

Onward!

[Papa Coco]

Kizzie,

I'm feeling genuinely excited for you. I'm so glad your GP is helping you move forward to something that is holding real promise. HUG!!!! 

[Kizzie]

Tks Papa! I so hope this will lead to my being able to try the Ketamine assisted therapy.  It will be good to have you to talk to about the experience. 

Everyone at the Ketamine clinic is primed and ready to move me through the process as is my GP so hope this med does the trick.  I'm not sure how long she will need to see a stable BP to clear me, probably a week or two.

(Note:  Just want to add a note here for anyone reading this that I am not intending to push Ketamine assisted therapy.  I am going to try it because I'm out of options with conventional meds - SSRs. benzos.  They worked for 30 years but not anymore so I'm having to try a new direction with my GPs blessing and support.)   

[Blueberry]

  for the good news Kizzie!

[dollyvee]

Hi Kizzie,

Congrats on being able to try and give this a go. I really like what they suggested about going into it with an intention - finding your protective and nurturing self. What a great feeling that would be.

I’ve been taking ~.2g psilocybin 4 days on and three days off and notice a slow change. I feel I’m becoming more open (?) and that something is slowly chipping away in the background. Instead of being locked up, I think I’m more expressive as well, less worried about what people will think. It’s in no way a psychedelic trip and function the same as I would without but am perhaps more self aware but also not an aha so this is what it’s all about moment.

Sending you support,
dolly

[Papa Coco]

Hi Dolly,

I desperately want to do what you are doing with the micro dosing. I'm getting frustrated at how I can't figure out how to get this treatment. I live in Seattle where psylocibin is now decriminalized, but I still don't know anything about it, or how to legally purchase it. My personal depression is worsening again. It's been almost 3 months since my last Ketamine Infusion, so it's time for a refresher. Ketamine works fantastically, but requires maintenance infusions a few times a year. I've scheduled a refresher for three weeks from now, but psylocibin is said to be far more effective and longer lasting than Ketamine. I just can't figure out how to get started with psylocibin.

If you have any information on where you got your information? A good website? A good magazine? I currently get Psychedelia magazine, which praises the treatment a thousand ways but doesn't tell me where to find help. I'm toying with the idea of flying to Denver and paying thousands for hotels and rental cars and flights just because they do the treatments there now.

If you're not comfortable sharing how to get started, I fully understand.  So please don't feel bad if you can't help me right now. I have Ketamine right now to keep me going, but I live by the belief that when you seek you find, and if you don't seek, you don't find, and so I'm seeking, seeking, seeking, and I know I'll eventually find what I'm looking for. If not now, maybe in the near future.

[Kizzie]

Hey Papa - maybe you could start a new thread about psilocybin so it doesn't hijack this thread which is about psychological reactions to meds basically? Tks.  There's actually a thread here you could add onto - https://cptsd.org/forum/index.php?topic=12183.0.  It has lots of info.

I'm interested in talking about psilocybin too as I found one of the Vancouver dispensaries you mentioned Dolly - https://mushroomdispensary.com/.  They ship all across Canada so that may be my next go to.  It isn't legal here yet though so I will have to think about that.   

[Papa Coco]

Kizzie,

Absolutely. Thanks for the links, and any further questions I have will go into a new Psylocibin thread. 

[Kizzie]

  Tks PC! I'm quit interested in psilocybin too although like you I''d really prefer to have an experience, knowledgeable professional helping me. I think like Ketamine, it and MDMA are right around the corner.

[dollyvee]

Have DM’d you PC

[Kizzie]

So there's a new fly in the ointment of psychological reactions to medications.  I finally was able to get an appointment with a psychiatrist here in Alberta (they are like gold apparently), after trying with my GP's help and some psychiatrist colleagues of hers to find out what if any SSRI I should be on.

Turns out after taking a thorough history and assessing me he agrees that I can no longer tolerate SSRIs and should be tapering off (as my GP and I decided to do anyway). So that confirms what I've been saying for a while here now and I wanted to share it here for other members who may end up going through something like this that yes you can become intolerant to your psychiatric medications even after 30 years. 

SSRIs are what are causing my 24/7 anxiety which is counterintuitive, but that's what was happening much as I thought way back in Jan and before I went through all the * of being switched to three SSRIs. 

The take away is that we really do have to advocate for ourselves in the face of professionals who aren't listening well enough when we tell what is going on with us.  My GP finally did as did the psychiatrist but not without a lot of painful proof that SSRIs were now causing me anxiety rather than helping with it.  I guess that is the downside of science - prove to me you can't take SSRIs anymore even if it causes you a lot of suffering because you have mental health issues so it must be you not the medication.

I know I'm ranting but this has been such a long horrible period in my life and I just want to yell a bit. 

Anyway, so there's another fly in the ointment and that is the psychiatrist is going to recommend to my GP that I taper off the SSRI as I am doing, but more quickly (there's a whole body of discussion/thought about how you should taper), and then start a small dose of the antipsychotic Risperidone because I do have anxiety and depression due to my CPTSD (i.e., apart from that caused by the SSRI). 

I spent quite  a bit of time over at the forum "Surviving Antidepressants" (https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/) when I was trying to find out if the SSRIs might be causing my anxiety.  If you pop over on the site you'll see they have a LOT to say about reactions to psych meds.  Anyway, now I am totally unsure about going back on anything other than the Ketamine I'm on track for.  I will be discussing this with my GP on Tues.  Lots and lots of questions! And now the anxiety is about what to do - can't win! 


 

[sanmagic7]

i get your hesitancy about taking the risperidone.  kizzie, i don't want to be a downer here, just informational.  i've been on risperidone and i reacted very badly to it, plus my shrink at the time didn't believe me that i was having major physical problems after only 3 days of taking it.  my other thought about all this is that your shrink may not be on board w/ the whole ketamine idea and would rather prescribe 'standard' meds for treatment. 

i'm glad you're going to talk to your GP.  one other suggestion is to look risperidone up online to find out more about what it does, what the side effects might be, just to give you further information about how it can work in the brain and what it can cause in the body. and i agree w/ you 1000% that we have to be on top of our situation in order to communicate and advocate for ourselves w/ the professionals who are supposed to be helping us.    wishing you all the best as you navigate this medication minefield!  love and hugs