Five Kinds of Parental Narcissism

[Kizzie]

One article to add about Dr. Brandy Lee who tried to warn the US and world how dangerous Trump was/is - "The Psychiatrist Who Warned Us That Donald Trump Would Unleash Violence Was Absolutely Right: The vindication of Bandy Lee."

In reading the article I noticed that Judith Herman (first to propose Complex PTSD in the 1990's) was part of the fairly small group  supporting Lee at first.

[dollyvee]

Thanks for the article Kizzie. Political leaders do have a tendency to shape ideas for people (the hope of Barack Obama for example) but to me, it's not everything. Leaders do come and go but there's been policies happening for a while that have helped shape Trump and what he was allowed to do for the last how ever many years.

One book that I've started but haven't finished, though it is very interesting, is Spencer Ackerman's Reign of Terror: How 9/11 Gave Rise to Trump. It's very "technical" and goes into detail on how 9/11 started a process of civil/democratic bypass in the name of terrorism. Also, how at the time, that the terrorism the US was focused on was brown/Middle Eastern etc and completely ignored a lot of the fringe groups and domestic terrorists (not that they even call them that) who were operating in the States at the time.

There's another book I read a few years ago during the beginning of the pandemic called Post Truth by Lee McIntyre which talks about living in an age of disnformation and how there is a long history of science denial (climate change, smoking) funded by corporations and sometimes backed by governments (Stephen Harper making it very difficult to access government scientists). To me, living in this culture is reminiscent of growing up without my own reality as a child and it does feel like a dangerous place to be and something we've been through before, but it doesn't negate our ability to get through it and survive like we did the last time.

Sending you a hug if that's ok 

[Kizzie]

Hugs are always OK - tks and one for you 

Wow, you read a lot!!

[dollyvee]

Ok good! Thank you 

It's been my way to process and understand things. Maybe if I know how and why things work the way they do, then maybe it can help me understand how it affects me and I can do something about it. I think it's also probably related in needing to get to the "truth" of the matter in the same way that I needed to as a child.

[Kizzie]

For sure Dolly, I read a lot too although I've had to cut way back this year because of my anxiety and depression and treatment.  We almost have to read as much as we do to get a handle on this. 

Interestingly, this treatment centre (nor the hospital ward I was onn) never mentions the word trauma so a long way to go still. I lent my therapist some of my books.  Yup, we're better informed than some in mental health field. Hopefully it will not remain this way! 

[dollyvee]

I'm sorry you've had to cut back.  It's interesting in the Dr. Ramani video I posted about social media and narcissism, she talks about how being a student in the late 90s and how they barely touched on narcissism as a subject. For me, that was around the time I was entering into adulthood and was maybe five years later that a t mentioned my m being a narcissist to me. Looking back on it, I can see now maybe why it didn't take, or it took me so long to actually consider it because it just wasn't a "thing" in the world. People weren't talking about narcissists, people would talk about abuse or really traumatic upbringings, but I didn't have that, and therefore, it must be me; I must be the problem. This of course was then reaffirmed by people who would dismiss my gm's actions as just "loving me." Meanwhile, narcissism grew at the same rates as obesity in the States and everyone acknowledged that, but no one talked about narcissism until the past few years (?).

I'm glad your doc is listening to you and taking things on board though, that's pretty hopeful 

[Kizzie]

Actually she's an occupational therapist.  I'm being discharged today and she gave me back my books.  I don't think she looked through them.   

Trauma was not mentioned at any time in my travels through the hospital  wards (x2) and this treatment centre.  Considering I have dealt with 4 psychiatrists, several occupational therapists, social workers & mental health nurses during that time and none mentioned or seemed interested in trauma, I'm somewhat discouraged.  It's like they know what they know and they aren't really open to/interested in learning about the prevalence of complex trauma in society.

[Armee]

 

[dollyvee]

I'm sorry that sounds really triggering for you and what you're going through right now. It's like when we want help the places that we expect to find it (that reassuring presence etc) aren't there and it's like we're on our own again as we were as kids.

I do think there are supportive places out there though, and people doing the research into trauma and cptsd to bring awareness to this stuff 

[Kizzie]

I don't want to take this thread away from narcissism but just wanted to say yesterday I attended the monthly Zoom meeting of the Complex Trauma Special Interest Group of ISSTS, my last as a Co-Chair and there were so many professionals (academics, clinicians and researchers) and some survivors like me agree in attendance I was really quite heartened.  I told them about my experience and how much I believe we need to work to spread the word about CT/CPTSD.  One of the new Co-Chairs emailed me this morning to say she's really interested in this as a project so halleluyah.

Anyway, now back to narcissism ....

[Armee]

💛 thank you Kizzie for your advocacy

[dollyvee]

That's great Kizzie  Sounds like a good project for you

[dollyvee]

In the vein of not narcissism but related, I listened to this podcast the other day and she said some interesting things about the direction of therapy right now, and how it's very "male, right brain, clinical" way of approaching EMDR, and how the American Psychologist Association (?) actually removed some of her credits for doing practising this kind of EMDR.

Attachment-Focused EMDR – Tools & Techniques to Heal Trauma with Dr. Laurel Parnell
https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/emdr-170/

Just made me think of this thread.

[Kizzie]

I love, love, love this t-shirt at Therapist Uncensored - https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/32614379-its-my-amygdala?store_id=1319314.  Great one to wear to initial therapy appointments!   

I'm surprised (and not) the APA removed some of her credits, I have heard from some well-known trauma professionals through ISSTS that the APA leadership is quite resistant to ideas that aren't generated by a tight nucleus within the org.  And further, that they are not especially supportive of female professionals - I think that's a fairly kind way of saying there's a tendency toward misogyny which may be one reason Judith Herman's construct of Complex PTSD has still not been accepted by the APA.  (Apparently there is some movement toward acceptance now that the WHO has included it in its ICD-11.).

Just one bit of news from the ISSTS before getting back to narcissism, there is a petition currently circulating amongst psych professionals to have the APA recognize a trauma specialization with the psych world.  I find it hard to believe there isn't a specialization already but apparently not.    The org really does seem to be slow to change and it may explain why many of us have trouble finding treatment. ANyway, if this is accepted it may make all things trauma more easily/readily embraced and open up treatment for us. Let's hope so.   

[dollyvee]

This disappeared in the fray! That is a great t shirt. I've only listened to a few podcasts but I like their approach and it's good to see examples of what secure relating is. I think we're often told what's wrong, but not the steps to take on how to fix it or what it might look like on the other end.

It seems like there is a slow movement for change from pathology (you're BPD, NPD, histrionic etc) to trauma which doesn't seem to be a pathology. It feels very well if it's BPD that's your problem, but if it's trauma, it becomes a we problem (in the vein of Gabor Mate etc).

It's also really disheartening if misogyny is happening within the organization.