FINDING MY FEELINGS

[Moondance]

Now that a few days have gone by I can look in hindsight and see that I was answering his questions (my truth) not so much to give him answers per say but to speak to a christian and let them know my truth, on my territory.  I think I felt a bit in control. I didn't realize it at the time but possibly that is what was going on.

And standing up for my parts. It wasn't easy, I didn't just slide through it lol but I am glad I did.

And yes I agree I could have shut it down much sooner. His questions were really inappropriate.  I find some Christians are very much like that which is why I don't feel safe in that environment.

Thank you everyone for your support, encouragenent, confirmation that I was correct in my observation about boundaries.

 

[Moondance]

I'm so very tired. I ran a couple of errands this morning.  Got back home around 130. I had a bite to eat and lied down around 4 pm - didn't wake up til 8 pm.

My bones hurt, my feet hurt.

I really wanted to do some work / reading/journals.  I didn't get to it and feel too tired to do so.

[NarcKiddo]

I'm sorry you feel tired but glad to read that you had a rest. Don't beat yourself up about not getting to the things you planned. Too often we overwork ourselves when we should instead be taking the rest our body is telling us we need.

I hope the hurting stops soon.

[sanmagic7]

hey, moondance, i get the idea of wanting to respond to others' journals but just don't have the wherewithal to do so.  as i've been told many times (probably even by you), not to worry.  do what you need to do for you.  we know you're with us.

hopefully you can get some rest, a little relaxation, naps, whatever helps shoo the tireds away.  i'll read to you if that helps, bring you a little something to sip on, watch a fun flick, and we can just chill. or not, if you'd rather be left alone.  your call.  love and hugs

[Moondance]

Thank you both so much - I think, as you both suggested I will lean into it.

Reading to me sounds so comforting San yeah I really like that idea of just chilling together and a hot tea.

I will try to listen to my body - that does takes precence of mind but I will try.

I was fast asleep again by 12:30 am last night and didn't get up til 10:30 am this morning.

It probably didn't help that it had been raining for 2 days and I forgot my medication for 2 days.

[rainydiary]

Hi Moondance, best wishes into tuning in and listening to your body.  I hope you find what helps you feel rested. 

[Moondance]

Hi Rainydiary,

Thank you so much for your support and encouragement.

It comes to mind that guilt and shame are a part of what stops me from looking after myself at times.

Thinking of you today Rainydiary.

 

[Moondance]

I'm not sure why but I no longer see the "introduction" posts for new members listed on the "Boards"?

Is anyone else having this issue?

[Moondance]

I figured it out - when I'm not logged in I can see the usual Boards.

[Moondance]

A's older brother was in hospital for a surgery and had a stroke.  They caught it right away so he's recovering from it well.

I bring this up because another of A's brothers is coming to pick A up to go visit older brother at hospital. 

I've been asked to join but feel it would be very uncomfortable for me, lots of people at hospital, I don't know who will all be there, I don't know what to say in these situations. 

I do feel some sense of obligation but that's not a good reason to go. 

I just hate this feeling - always worried and anxious of judgment.

 

[Moondance]

Yeah IBS kicked in - not going  anywhere

[Hope67]

Hi Moondance,
I hope your IBS symptoms settle soon so you feel better.
Hope 

[Moondance]

Thank you Hope - it has settled somewhat.

I'm just realizing now that this would have been a good time to practice what T suggested, but I didn't think of it til just now.

That is what I will do now.

[sanmagic7]

awww, moondance - IBS is the gift that keeps on giving!  i know from experience.  totally a pain in the patoot, so to speak.  glad the brother is recovering. keep taking care of you.  love and hugs

[natureluvr]

Moondance, it's great that you have the self awareness to know that going to the hospital to see A's brother would be too much for you, and to know that it's not good to do things out of a sense of obligation.  How are you these days?