Tell me if I fit in

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farfromthetree

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Tell me if I fit in
« on: April 23, 2015, 09:16:39 PM »
Hi all. I'm on the Out of the Fog board, and I'm wondering if I fit in here too. I just spent the last six years taking care of my aging mother who has serious emotional problems. I got so enmeshed that my personality changed. I became fearful, negative, anxious and depressed. She became increasingly demanding, dependent, and unwilling to take any responsibility.

I went NC a year ago and I'm finding it's taking a long time for me to recover. I still get worked up over little things, I obsess, I do OCD behaviors, and I'm always expecting things to go wrong. I get almost paranoid at times.

Do I fit in here? And how should I start? Just a little nudge in the right direction would be helpful.   ???

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BeHea1thy

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Re: Tell me if I fit in
« Reply #1 on: April 24, 2015, 02:34:56 AM »
Welcome farfromthetree  :bighug:

Yes, you "fit" here. You've already started by posting and telling a little of your story!  :applause: It's a scary thing to do, and now that you've done it, well, you're on your way.

Caring for a family member with emotional problems is so draining. I know. I've done it and am doing it. As far as having your personality change, yup. That happens too. I relate to every word you wrote. I'm gearing up for the NC, and planning my exit. It does take a long time to recover or even work up the energy to move in that direction.

I'm not a moderator, but someone will probably jump in here and direct you to reading about newcomers to the forum. You've posted your intro in the right place, and now if you want, start checking out different topics.

One thing I can suggest about the concerns about obsession and OCD is a researcher Fred Penzel. He writes in a very compassionate way about the subject and I recently found him at his current agency. I highly recommend his perspective. Here's a link. http://www.wsps.info/index.php?option=com_content&view=category&id=36:ocd-and-related-subjects-by-frederick-penzel-phd&Itemid=64&layout=default

After giving so much of yourself, you are probably depleted. So, it's time to start to fill yourself up with life-giving and nurturing experiences. It's a daily kind of thing, and a process. It helps to share with people that understand. You'll find that here.

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keepfighting

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Re: Tell me if I fit in
« Reply #2 on: April 24, 2015, 07:10:01 AM »
Hi, farfromthetree,

nice to meet you on this forum!  :wave:

I'm glad you've found us and you're very welcome here.  :yes:

Have you had the time yet to check out Pete Walkers website about CPTSD yet? http://www.pete-walker.com/

His book "CPTSD - From Surviving to Thriving" is a great resource, as well.

On this forum, you might want to start in the "CPTSD and Us" section, since that's where we discuss the various symptoms (like anxiety, desaster thinking etc) and ways/strategies that help us deal with them.