Physical Ailments with CPTSD - Part 1

[betamax524]

As I've mentioned in another thread, I get constant headaches/migraines/some sort of head pain which I'm hoping to get checked at the doctors as soon as possible, as well as various aches and pains around my neck and shoulders. Also random chest pains? Agh, I have a lot that I have to get checked!

I've had asthma since I was a kid, and during high school, it would tend to flare up when I was stressed, making panic attacks challenging :~/

I also remember back in school I would come down with a high fever once a month or so for no discernible (physical) reason, but now I'm sure it had something to do with anxiety...

Menstruation talk below, may be TMI!
My periods tend to be irregular and heavy, and I get even more emotionally unstable during them, and around a day or so before and after. I also get painful cramps and more headaches.
Menstruation talk over!

I usually tend to let these pass though, since being raised to stay stoic means I now have a warped sense of pain sensitivity. I'm slowly working my way into actually talking about my various pains and stuff, but it's an uphill climb sometimes! Can't help but feel like I'm just faking it/looking for attention :~(

[I like vanilla]

Add me to the list of those who have physical complaints likely related to the CPTSD.

Most of mine are related to physical pain. Aches and pains in muscles and joints, often settling in old injuries and/or injuries that 'should be' healed by now; taking 'too long' to heal from injuries; messed up periods (irregular, too heavy, too light), related cramping, joint aches and pains (even my gums hurt when I have PMS); and even an 'allergic' reaction that turned out to not be an actual allergy (though which is still a real reaction - likely related to some yet-to-surface childhood memory - looking forward to uncovering that landline...not!).

I have talked to I don't know how many doctors. I have gotten tests that have come back negative. I have gone to naturopaths, Chinese medicine practitioners, acupuncturists, and read countless books and credible online sources with no results and no help. I cannot count how many times a healthcare professional has patted me on the head and told me 'it's stress' and even once, 'you're a hypochondriac'  (the last being quite ironic as I am usually am in deep denial about the extent of my injuries/illnesses when I do fall physically ill and/or injured).

UGH!

Only recently have I been finding some relief. A few years ago I had a 'real' physical medical issue (I argue adamantly that psycho-somatic problems are 'real' too), the treatment of which led to the uncovering of fragments of memories of CSA. Yadda, yadda, yadda, the therapist I had at the time fired me because she was unable to help with the fallout and unable to admit to her limitations.

Now, I have a new (working with him ~1 year) therapist who practises Sensory Motor Psychotherapy. SMP focuses on feeling your feelings, but emotional but most importantly the sensations in your body, good or bad, or neutral. The idea is that the body stores memory that the mind might not remember. Often in situations where 'freeze' response was the only option (the person being unable physically and/or psychologically unable to choose 'fight' or 'flight') the defensive energy is stored in the body rather than being released as it would have been through fighting back and/or running away. In feeling the bodily sensations and acting out what the body needs to do in response releases the energy that was stored at the initial time of trauma.
(e.g. I have at an appointment acted out hitting someone who was attacking me).

I am finding that this SMP therapy method has been very helpful for me. I am not only getting 'unstuck' in several areas of my life where I had been stalled and stagnating, I am also living with considerably less physical pain.

My thinking is that, for me, the pain has been my body's 'red flag', signalling to me that there was/is trauma stored in it. The pain says 'pay attention, healing is needed'. Unfortunately, while the pain itself is physical the source was emotional/psychological.

Unfortunately too, doctors seem poorly trained in this area. I had a brief discussion about this topic recently with my GP. He agreed that the topic is not covered in their medschool classes. It really ought to be.

Finally, Bessel Van Der Kolk touches on this topic in his book The Body Keeps the Score. This book takes some reading but is a great resource for people with trauma. I would caution, however, that he does give some graphic details about abuses suffered and witnessed by his clients but also give NO trigger warnings. Read but read with caution...

[Dyess]

I was sent to a Rheumatologist who diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia. I thought this just concerned the muscle and joint pain but OMG it's so much more. So I started seeing him and he put me on all the medicines to try, at different times of course. But I was in such a mental fog I couldn't tell if they were helping or not and it just wasn't worth going to the office for. I get knots in my back muscles so bad it pulls me out of alignment. My left shoulder was about 2 inches higher than my right shoulder. I didn't realize it until my GP made me stand up and look at my posture from behind. Anyway.....seems like Fibro over laps some symptoms of CPTSD. Must be hard to figure all this out for the doctors.

[Dutch Uncle]

Hi Trace, I'm happy to see you 'back' (from never gone  ). You had me puzzled for a while with the other 'nick'.

I want to take the opportunity to say there's a thread on Fibromyalgia in this section. Have you seen it?

[mcq]

In the last year, I have developed both shingles and cellulitis, at 24, on top of a lung infection I had for nearly four months. My therapist says it is most likely due to the years of constant stress wearing down my immune system.

[Pieces]

Cold feet, the literal kind. Feels especially weird/annoying when I have a head that feels warm from adrenaline yet my feet feel like bricks of ice. One time my body relaxed somehow and my feet returned to normal temperature, felt surprisingly nice.

[Kizzie]

Fellow shingles sufferer mcq     I'm still on meds for nerve damage.  I had it at my lowest point emotionally so stress relating to trauma can really play havoc with our immune system.

[Jdog]

The somatic issues are surfacing this week in a bit more pronounced way for me.  My always tight neck is clenched like its inside of a vice grip, my tinnitus is extra loud today, and the stomach feels like someone is driving a nail through it.

During meditation, I remembered that today would have been Dad's birthday.  I did some "forgiveness" work towards myself - forgiving myself for not understanding how ill he was physically and emotionally (because how can a kid understand that?) and just letting myself accept that I feel kinda crappy right now.  I thought I had taken a big leap forward in accepting my past and moving into the present, but I guess it happens in fits and starts.
Meanwhile, the body does its own little thing.

Sigh

[Kizzie]

  JDog, the body really does keeps track doesn't it?  I hope things settle soon 

[Jdog]

Thank you, Kizzie.  I am addressing the issues and starting to feel better.  The forgiveness today is for abandoning myself long ago and in the recent past also.  Letting someone abuse me as a substitute father figure then, and allowing myself to think I am not enough as an adult.  It's a long and vicious cycle but one that I am beginning to address and sort out.

[Kizzie]

  and 

[Indigochild]

Hello guys,

I know this thread was written a while ago, but i would really like some advice, or opinions, on what course of action i should take, if possible...if know one knows, thats ok too of course..

T said to me that it sounds like i have adrenal fatigue.
she talked about cortisol levels being too high.
I have looked around the internet, and i think that adrenal problems are effecting the rest of my body.
that might be why i have  a sore stomach too.

I watched a vid, and the guy said, that the stressors need to be aliviated from your life,
then sleep will improve-
(and sleep improves a lot of these complaints),
then- when thats sorted-
you can begin taking vitamins that you are lacking and you can begin repairing the adrenal glands.
This all sounds good to me (if its true)
The stressors - triggers, flashbacks, relationship issues, -
i will be working on in therapy- so it might take a while
I know that flashbacks wont completely stop (they might lessen in intensity and frequency),
so stress of that sort might never be totally alleviated,
and it will take a long time till all the stress is out of my life while I'm working in therapy on such things,

Tonight i sat down and thought about looking at things i can do to help the adrenal glands whilst I'm undergoing this long therapeutic process, because i have been totally depleted of energy and have surprisingly been feeling a little low.

There is so much conflicting info on line,
I dont know if i also have too much cortisol,
so i dont want to take anything vitamin wise, because i dont want to mess anything up and try to self medicate when i dont know what I'm doing.

I feel like i need to see a professional, and for them to just tell me what tests i need (hormone levels and to see what organs are effected in the body),
and what is wrong.
but i dont know who to see, where to go,
and apparently normal doctors dont look at the underlying problem, and dont acknowledge that adrenal fatigue actually exists (according to the net).
I went for blood test because of menstrual problems, but nothing was found.
i have read too, that traditional tests wont detect cortisol problems...

Im thinking about seeing a natural doctor in my area, but dont know which one to go to.
I feel completely confused and lost and as though i have to figure all this out on my own- a lot of trial and error, and i feel a bit despairing and angry with the world and the medical system.
I dont trust that anyone will be able to help me and (could be an EF) but again- its down to me and i dont know how to help me.

I am worried that i wont know what to ask for, that i wont know what sorts of tests i need to ask for, and what if they dont evaluate properly?

i have no support in place as in, someone who knows about this who can help me.
So i was wondering, if anyone has any ideas about what i should do?
I would really appreciate any of you taking the time to read this as its a little lengthy...

Thanks a lot

[Kizzie]

HI Indigo, so sorry to hear you have been struggling    So many of us are dealing with fatigue and other related health issues but don't know what to do or where to go or what to believe, and yet we know clearly our bodies have reacted to all the stress and fear and a toxic amount of hormones and chemicals that comes with that.   

Mainstream medicine will hopefully get to the point where all GPs learn about issues like adrenal fatigue, fibromyalgia and so on and have the relevant tests to diagnose, but that will only come when they have the clinical research which takes time.  That said, if you have a GP you feel comfortable with perhaps try explaining what you're feeling and what's at the bottom of it.  Your GP may actually be knowledgeable, mine knew about CPTSD so she was able to help me in the way I needed.

It does seem like naturopaths are often ahead of the curve in terms of health issues like adrenal fatigue so it may be helpful to give one a try.  If you're not sure which one to choose you can go to one of the rating sites and pick one from the reviews.  You could also ask your T if s/he knows of someone (GP and/or naturopath), since s/he brought it up. 

It's so hard struggling to get answers when the physical effects of long-term trauma are only beginning to be recognized I know as I'm sure many here do as well.  I wish you well and hope you are able to find some informed care      

[Dutch Uncle]

Hi Indigo, how tough and rough the times are for you at the moment. 

Hello guys,

I know this thread was written a while ago, but i would really like some advice, or opinions, on what course of action i should take, if possible...if know one knows, thats ok too of course..

T said to me that it sounds like i have adrenal fatigue.
she talked about cortisol levels being too high.
I have looked around the internet, and i think that adrenal problems are effecting the rest of my body.
[...]
There is so much conflicting info on line,
I dont know if i also have too much cortisol,
so i dont want to take anything vitamin wise, because i dont want to mess anything up and try to self medicate when i dont know what I'm doing.

Obviously I cannot give you any qualified advise. I'm not an MD nor a T. I'm as much a layman in this as 'the next guy in the street'.

I did a quick google-scan on "adrenal fatigue" and found, much like you have, that 'regular medicine' has it's doubts on the whole concept of it. On the other hand there is a 'wealth' of other resources who claim it's very real.
Who's right? I don't know. Personally I tend to be drawn more towards 'science based' approaches, and in these three articles a couple of sources for 'fatigue' are suggested that can be tested for in 'regular' medicine.
Perhaps it is worthwhile to check out these possible physical causes first?
The articles also make clear that 'fatigue' is quite common, f.e. in depression.

Adrenal Fatigue: Is It Real?
Adrenal Fatigue: Does It Exist? What Is Adrenal Insufficiency?
And then there is of-course the wikipedia entry with some additional sources: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adrenal_fatigue

Quite a few of the 'alternative medicine' sites on adrenal fatigue seem to be, to my suspicious mind that might well be slightly paranoid, poster-sites for the sale of very expensive 'supplements'.

In my personal opinion, I think the first step to take is to talk to your GP. Perhaps (s)he could refer you to an endocrinologist? That seems to me the scientific field that could actually be able to see if there is a physical cause for your 'adrenal fatigue'.

One 'alternative' website that does not seem to focus that much on 'supplements' (although it has it's portion of exotic herbs at the very end of the article) is The Real Deal on Adrenal Fatigue

I hope and wish that your therapy will alleviate most of the stressors from both past and present. In my honest but layman opinion that's the best bet in ridding yourself of your fatigue.

  and take care.

[Indigochild]

Hi Kizzie,

Thank you so much for your reply, i really appreciate you taking the time.
Sorry my replies are late - havent been able to respond right away because of issues / circumstances, but that doesnt mean i dont appreciate your responses.

I really do hope that modern medicene will learn about these issues.
I do wonder if they already do, but are in line with pharmaceutical companies and would rather dish out drugs.

Thats so great that your GP knew about Cptsd. The doc i saw about going on the therapy list before i went private, was a lot better than the other Gps i have seen, so he might be able to help. I just really hate going to the docs, maybe i will talk to T first about it.
Thank you so much for your advice Kizzie.

Im wondering if these physical effects of trauma have always been there in the body, only i havent noticed them before, and I'm sure many others havent either.  It seems they have come about since september, during the beginning of prolonged flashbacks, which seemed to come out of know where after starting therapy, although i did have some before.
Maybe symptoms have to be really noticeable, in order for them to be noticed, if you are not tuned in to the body...

Hope you are well too Kizzie,