Sexual Exploitation and Abuse (TW)

[Sprinkles]

I hadn't realized I was being sexually exploited until very recently. My daughter was telling me about something about predators. It's what flared up my cptsd and I joined OOTS.

Anti -mom had a boyfriend that was attempting to have sex with me when I was 14. I told her about it. She kept the boyfriend and had me admitted to a psych ward. I have come to realize she put me there to discredit me if I tried to report her again.

She would always be willing to offer me up for money. The owner of the bar she frequented wanted me to sweep the sidewalk. However, one night he wanted to go to his apartment or some closed off area and started to get sexual with me. I ran, and he no longer wanted me to sweep.

She continued going to the bar and bringing men home to pay her for sex. She would get home around 3am. I had a job and worked weekends so I was worn out and asleep when she got home.

Because I'm sleeping, I'm not fully dressed. She would start yelling for me to come protect her purse. She would have me come in her bedroom in sleep clothes so these guys can see me.

It wasn't until recently I realized she was parading me around for their benefit.

On one of these occasions, a guy came into my room while I was trying to go back to sleep. I got up and told him to go back to her room. He said" she said for $50, I could have sex with you".

I said no you won't, I grabbed a kitchen utensil that could double as a weapon and let him know I will use it to defend myself.

He said he wanted his money back. I said that's not my problem. Anti-mom had locked herself in her room. I had to make a couple jabs in his direction for him to leave. 

I recently I had the epiphany that she was trying to pimp me and the mentioned creep was the only one sleazy enough to accept.

My actions that night put a stop to it,


As a married woman, my husband(now ex) was determined to have more children. I was having affairs trying to get away. The ex created an atmosphere of chaos. He started a relationship with me because he thought I would be easy to control and abuse.

After my son's 1st birthday party I went out to do karaoke. While I was passed out that night, the ex got me pregnant. My baby was 13 when I finally realized what he did.

I know exactly what night because my youngest child was born exactly nine months from her brother's first birthday.

Despite what her father did, I love my baby girl.

[Kizzie]

I sense this fierceness in you    that seems to have helped you survive and makes you a healthy mother who is breaking the cycle as we talked about on another thread. 

Your posts make me feel how much I want a world where the the immoral, cruel and very serious crime that sexual abuse (any abuse for that matter), is out in the light everywhere, perpetrators are held accountable always, and survivors are accorded the dignity and respect they deserve.

 

[Sprinkles]

Thank you, Kizzie. I believe that on a personal level I've always wanted to expose her for the awful creature she really is.

Now that I've joined here, I definitely want these culprits to be on display for who they are and the crimes they committed.

It's good to know so many of us are breaking the cycle and decreasing the numbers.

[Kizzie]

I do believe survivors like us will become more comfortable with coming out as we tap into our anger and fierceness. It also helps so much to know we're not alone, that we have a supportive community of peers who totally understand and acknowledge the crime of abuse.  And all together it helps to push abuse/neglect out from behind closed doors and break the cycle 

Huzzah to all of us because for the buck stops here! 

[Sprinkles]

I used to believe I didn't need anyone's validation as a person.

Now I appreciate and understand, validation for the trauma I've been through is important to healing.

[Kizzie]

Good to hear, you'll certainly get that here.