Miscellaneous ramblings of NarcKiddo

[Chart]

Sorry to hear you got a jerk of a doc, Narco.

Ive tried in the past being very very rude, testy, interrupting, and repeating questions when I encounter a doctor (or anyone) like that. Basically I become a jerk like them. This actually works to a certain extent. The message usually passes that I am not happy with this person's "manner". What upsets me about this is that afterwards I feel like I was "forced" to do that in order to get my needs met. And I don't like the idea of becoming a jerk to get my needs met. I'm even more extreme when it's something for my kids. Sadly, I feel I have to be this way with people who are insensitive and uncaring. But that kinda sucks all around...
Sorry again for your situation. I also wanted to add that diaphragm and abdominal exercises and strengthening could also help your lungs a lot. I use the Guillarme Method, but Ive not found this method in English anywhere (only French... but it's actually Swiss I think...)
https://www.methode-guillarme.com/
https://m.youtube.com/watch?si=D3OM9axkJ5oJpW9j&v=rml9JfEnvoY&feature=youtu.be
 

[dollyvee]

Hi NK,

I'm sorry that you're going through a lot of health stuff right now. That really sucks. I have had my fair share of doctor over the years dismiss me when I was sick and basically say it's all in my head, or something along the lines of who do I think I am. So, yeah frustrating and relatable that they don't listen. I have found a couple that did, but they didn't offer the help or answers to what was going on, and were just supportive in the measures I was taking for myself.

I hope you're able to take some space for yourself and deal with the stresses that are coming up.

Sending you support,
dolly

[NarcKiddo]

Thanks, everyone.

Chart - thank you for the links. I'll check them out. I have basic French so I'm sure I'll get the gist at least.

[sanmagic7]

i've gotten to dread going to see docs for this very reason, NK.  too many are jerks.  very sorry you have to put up with this - it totally sucks.  i hope you do not have cancer and they find something very treatable/curable and easy to manage.  best to you w/ all of it.  love and hugs

[Chart]

Very cool. The video is visual which helps. I can't emphasize how much this technique is helping me. I'm actually putting my inguinal hernia back in order with this as well. I sleep better and am certain that a great deal of my trauma "processing" is accelerated by the fact that I simply breath well much more of the time.
If I can help in any way with translation don't hesitate, I'm more than willing. I've even considered contacting the folks and asking why their site doesn't have an English version...

[Desert Flower]

To have a doctor like that sucks NarcKiddo. And I can totally understand you'd not be able to handle much more after that too. Hang in there.

[Kizzie]

Good grief, I just hate hearing experiences like what you went through and I'm so sorry it put you into a slump. I cannot believe he would leave you on the cancer pathway in such a brusque manner.  Very understandable you are upset and personally I think many physicians and specialists do need a kick in the rump. Being busy is no excuse, you must listen to your patients, it's what you do when you sign on to medicine. Many of us have had to get grumpy and pushy in return like Chart has suggested, but it's no way to interact. We all need to work to get the "care" back in healthcare.   

The project I am about to launch is going to capture these types of experiences so we can make it clear from our perspective (trauma survivors), that far too many medical (and mental health) professionals are failing us. There will be a study which will hopefully be pushed out via a medical journal, and a resource developed about Complex Trauma/CPTSD and TIC. It will be pushed out to medical education institutions (because few have education and training about CT), and made available at OOTS and the Complex Trauma Special Interest Group at ISTSS. What we have to say about our care will be the kick in the butt or reminder to offer actual care.

Anyway, I'm sorry you were shut down and then left to ponder possibly having cancer with no real care as to the impact on you.  It's inexcusable IMO.

[NarcKiddo]

More medical stuff - although no progress whatsoever. This is just a rant. Read at your peril.

It is now just over 2 weeks since jerk GP put me on the 2 week cancer diagnosis pathway.

I had the blood tests and a hi res CT scan done the following week.

CT scan was done at the hospital where I stayed with the pneumonia. They told me it would take a week for the scan to be assessed by them and then it would be passed to the hospital respiratory department. That department would decide if anything they discover merits their ongoing involvement or if they report back to jerk GP and leave me to him. The latter would (I assume) mean I don't have cancer so here's hoping for jerk GP!

We have an app where we can get blood test results and we are always told to check the app rather than ringing the GP surgery for results. Since it takes at least 15 minutes to get through (and that is only if there are fewer than 5 calls ahead of you - it is regularly more than 20) it is clearly better all round to check the app. So I have been, but nothing appeared. Last Thursday (10 days after the blood test) I rang the GP surgery. The bloods were taken at a hospital near where my parents live which would not be my hospital of choice but it was the only one that could do a blood test within 2 weeks. So I could have the double joy of combining a blood test with a FOO visit.      Hospital told me the results would be sent to the GP within a couple of days.

The GP surgery said that hospital does not send them results electronically as it is out of their catchment area. They send by snail mail and it can take up to two weeks for results to come. Also, the woman I spoke to said they had not chased for results because they did not know I had gone to that particular hospital. Naturally if anyone had told me any of this I would have made sure to tell the GP surgery earlier. She the promised she would get their IT department to email for results to be sent and would call me.

Today I telephoned the surgery again to check that the request for results had at least been made. A different woman spoke to me this time. She was very short with me. Confirmed the hospital can take 2 weeks to send results (the two weeks are up today) and they will not chase earlier unless it is urgent. I said "pardon me but the doctor put me on a 2 week cancer diagnosis pathway so I would assume that might signify some level of urgency". To which the woman said "Oh, well, I will contact the doctor and ask if he wants the results urgently and if he does then we will request them. Otherwise we will just wait for them to come in the post." I spent 15 minutes listening to elevator music for that! 

Meanwhile there is no particular sign of my lung function improving despite the hugely increased dose of inhaler the doctor ordered me to take. I have some concerns about this steroid inhaler because my research indicates that if I have asthma there is known benefit to it. If I have COPD there is little benefit. I don't know what I have and nor does the doctor, although he claimed last time I saw him that I have a formal diagnosis of COPD. That has never been communicated to me but was apparently made in 2022 when I did not see a doctor at that practice all year. They diagnose by crystal ball now? My lung condition has been a bit of a mystery ever since it was discovered nearly 15 years ago. However, the inhaler matters because there is evidence that long term use of steroid inhalers hugely increases your risk of hospitalisation if you contract pneumonia. So I do not want to be on an inhaler that is not of any therapeutic benefit but may in fact increase the risk of a poor outcome if I get pneumonia again. Which I am at a higher risk of, given I have had it once already.

So I really have a desire to get in front of somebody who knows what they are talking about. But I don't want to short-circuit the NHS and go private while they are running this cancer pathway, because it will be a case of too many cooks.

Congratulations if you got to the end of this diatribe! If you have the energy, please send me some calming vibes because I am really getting quite agitated about this now. And of course anxiety can manifest as tight throat, breathing issues, hoarse voice and all the things jerk GP said were cancer.

[Chart]

NarcKiddo, so empathize with your frustration... Calming vibes en route...
Ohmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
Ohmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
Ohmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

 

[Armee]

Oh my jeez lord! Of COURSE you are agitated. I'm agitated just reading about it. I'd probably be leaning toward private myself for another set of eyes/opinions on this since the communication is so bad. I will send calm vibes to you. You can only do so much within this system. Do what you can to get answers and then let go till it's time for the next step.

PS. Just because you are at the doctors near your FOO does not mean you have to visit them.

[Desert Flower]

NarcKiddo, this is so frustrating. These medical systems are just so messed up. Hang in there if you can till you get what you need. I'm not entirely calm myself so maybe we can share agitations then. 

[Hope67]

Dear NarcKiddo,
I am sending you some calming and caring vibes.  I am so sorry that you are experiencing this saga of attempting to get some clear and straightforward results - I really hope that they get back to you soon, and I am sending you a gentle hug of support, if that's ok 
Hope 

[NarcKiddo]

Thank you all for your lovely comments and good wishes. I am feeling a lot calmer today. I have a follow up appointment scheduled with jerk GP at the end of next week. Surely we will have answers by then, and if we do not then at least I can unload onto him face to face. Now I know what he is like I can prepare myself for all future encounters.

PS. Just because you are at the doctors near your FOO does not mean you have to visit them.

Thank you, Armee, for reminding me of that. You are right of course. Although my father is forever in that hospital for his cancer treatment so it would be funny/awkward if I ran into him there! As it happened I already had a FOO visit scheduled on the only day I could get that particular appointment.

[dollyvee]

Frustrating 

I can understand how it might be triggering as well that your f is dealing with cancer and now a scare has come up for you as well.

Sending you support,
dolly

[sanmagic7]

NK, a big  for all you're dealing with right now.  love and hugs as well!