Ogs Journal

[DD]

It is a big success to be able to recognise what you need and ask for it. No matter what happens, it's something to be proud of. I really hope you find a sanctuary to gather strength.

I can relate to not having someone responsible for the trauma. While for some trauma there is someone responsible, more and more I see that some of it was due to broken people acting in broken ways. But, I'm also noticing that even when they didn't mean the hurt, it still hurt. No one is to blame, sure. But the trauma is still real. It is still valid and needs to be faced, felt, and healed.

It's like a car crash caused by genuine accident. No one meant for it to happen, but cars and people are broken anyway.

For me it has helped for these that I put aside the question of intent/fault and try to focus on what was my experience of it and validate that. This forum, for me, has been an excellent place to have that trauma validated. So I can heal. I hope you also find healing.

Recovery is slow work and takes a lot of energy. All the best to you as you walk this road. May you find everything you need on your path.

[Hope67]

 

[natureluvr]

Hello Og, I'm thinking of you, and hope you are doing OK.  Sending thoughts of safety and peace.

[Ogdru]

Hello,

I am back and in a safe place now... that was a very difficult and to be honest a sort of scary few months. I was politely told I wasn't able to be housed or boarded by my friends parents, which I respect their boundaries. They have been in frequent contact with me and have helped me find a new place to live which I have now landed to. I have moved to a much better spot where I am safe at. Currently I have taken sometime off of work, I did some IOP stuff but due to money and without a car wasn't able to commit to that long term. It did come in use when I had it though.

Now, with me having settled, and reaching a better norm I am trying to figure out as to how to use this time I have off to recover. I think coming back here will be good and I have therapy on a weekly basis during this time. Right now I was working on some therapeutic 'work sheets' that help us sort of identify ourselves and something I am realizing is how, difficult of a time I have to realize myself in actuality. I think it makes sense, I was stuck in an studio apartment for 2 years, eventually spending every hour I could escaping and it's led to me sort of having a bit of a blind spot to realizing myself as a person. That's just one thing I have been pondering, something that I will bring up in therapy.

But right now I am more so hoping to go through the building blocks of recovering now I am in a better spot. How to take care of myself throughout the day and figuring out what little things I hope to achieve here and there.

Glad I am safe, and very lucky I ended up where I did.

[Bert]

Hi Ogdru,

I just want to say I admire your positive mentality despite the hardship you face - and I am happy to hear that you have a few people to turn to.

I find myself going through quite the difficult chapter in my life also having recently learned I have cptsd and struggling  to cope with day-to-day. I feel your desire to recover and do the right things, as I do too. Hopefully you continue to engage with this forum and we can share support to one another.

[blue_sky]

Hi Ogdru,

Kudos on reaching out and giving priority to yourself and your wellbeing. It's a huge achievement.

I hope you are having a good day.