Something bubbling below

[DD]

I am quite used to dissociating. Recently as I've done a lot of work with my several trauma issues i've been less able to utilise this skill for some reason.

However: maybe not. Yesterday I started feeling sad. Today it has gone worse and worse as hours of work go by. My anxiety is going up and up. I am getting a headache and stomach ache.

Something clearly is bubbling up under my conscious level. But I have no idea what. I can tell that my entire dissociative system is under more and more distress and duress. But my conscious is still in la la land.

I have no idea how to approach this. Or how to handle it. Help?

[NarcKiddo]

Any peculiar emotional (over)reaction I have is usually based around an emotional memory of past trauma and involves my inner child. Sometimes it takes me a while to realise what the trigger was but usually I can pinpoint when I started feeling bad and what had happened at that time. The trigger incident may be quite innocuous and it can take quite some time for me to work out why I was triggered. Often I start getting some clue myself but it is not until I talk it through with my therapist that I can start unraveling the problem.

I cannot easily access my inner child and she does not trust adult me enough to tell me what the problem is. If I try to ask her I usually make myself feel worse. Just acknowledging her, telling her she can talk if she wants but does not have to, and reassuring her that we will be OK can often calm my emotions quite considerably and gives me more ability to consider what the issue might be. If you are more in touch with your inner child than I am with mine then that is certainly where I would suggest you might start.

Whatever you do decide to do, be kind to yourself. Take things easy and rest if you can.

[DD]

I think you're right. I hear her keening and wailing. I haven't heard that in a bit. I think I need to slow down somewhat and care for her. She can't talk now.