QUESTION RE JOURNALS

[Kizzie]

Hi Everyone:

In another thread it came up that some members would be more comfortable having their journals in a private section of the forum.  I can set this up if there are some of you that would prefer your journals not to be read by the public. I can then move everything in your journal over to the private section. The only drawback is that you would not get as many responses/feedback.

If you would like me to set this up please let me know in a post below.

Kizzie

[Moondance]

I would really appreciate that.

If there is not enough interest for the trouble that's okay as well.

Thanks Kizzie

[Armee]

Thank you Kizzie. I'm sure I overreacted...I mean I definitely did... but it would feel much much safer to have them private to only members who have journals. I don't think I ever get responses from anyone who doesn't also keep a journal.

[Moondance]

Armee  

[dollyvee]

Kizzie - is it that only members who have their journals private can then read other peoples' journals in the private section? Or will everyone's journal be private?

Just my two cents but when I was first lurking on the forum it was helpful to me to read peoples' honest experiences about what they were going through.

[Kizzie]

Dolly - There would be journals in both sections so still available to the public.  Those who have journals in the private section will be able to read other journals and comment.

I will start a private section Moondance because even if it's only you to start there may be others after who want to put their journals in that section.  It does allow members to add more details than they might in the more public section.

[Kizzie]

OK, I have set up a section for members who want their journals to be private.  Just let me know if you want to be added to that group and I will assign you permission. Please remember that the only responses you will get is from other members in the group.

[Moondance]

I am thinking about moving it or not is a good idea.   I think it's important for me to get support.  Perhaps I can start another journal in the public forum.   

Anyway I will ponder some more - I'm leaning towards yes for the move but am not certain yet.

Thank you Kizzie

[Kizzie]

I've added you both to the private section Armee and Moondance.  You can start another journal in it if you want Moondance.  For now I won't move your current journal. Just let me know if you do want it moved.

[Blueberry]

Hi, I've just moved this over from the bottom of Armee's post which gave rise to this topic. Sry Armee I didn't see Kizzie's thread here.

To everybody:

I do understand worries and fear that somebody might read our Journals. There's lots of detail in a lot of them and then of course there's all the boundary transgressions from alot of our pasts and all that kind of stuff that I can't even write down rn, but which contribute to feelings of unease - for me too for years.

Each and every member's feeling of security is paramount! At the same time I would be saddened not to be able to comment on or even read (??) the entries of those who move their Journals to a private part of the forum. No pressure though - that's how I feel but nobody needs to JADE about it (justify / argue / defend / explain). That would be especially so for mbrs I already know and care about more than future mbrs I don't yet know. Or maybe all Journals could go into a private part of the forum, idk.

Kizzie, I'll PM you later on this general topic.

Some of the stuff I was unclear on is clearer now thru this thread, but it's too late at night for me to edit my post. Tomorrow's another day...

[Hope67]

Hi Kizzie and everyone,
I expressed my concerns in the other thread - but must admit that I've been thinking about it since, and I now think that I am ok with everything I've written publicly.  I recognise that it's 'parts' of me that are concerned, and when they are more present, they voice those concerns, but essentially I've been discussing within my selves, and think I'm ok with my journal being as it is.   I know that parts of me became worried about the 'hidden private' place that the other journals were going to be kept, and feeling as if those parts were being locked away - which is somehow how I've felt in relation to hiding parts of myself and repressing certain thoughts and feelings.

Anyway, I'm more comfortable again with having my journal and all the things I've written in other parts of the forum as they are.  I'm not therefore requesting a private journal.

However, if it was the case that the majority of members wanted to go into the private area, then I would hate not to be able to access it too - because I would feel like we were being walled off from each other.    I'd rather also be included.

I've felt that about the Zoom groups a bit - i.e. I'm too fearful to join one of those.  But I feel a bit 'left out' - even though I know it's not the case that I am left out.  I just don't feel confident or comfortable to join a group.  I worry that someone would recognise my voice, or that I'd be recognised somehow.

My partner reminds me of all the millions of people in the world and how it's unlikely anyone would recognise me, but my FOO have used detectives before to locate members.  So it feels worrying at times.

But, I do feel ok about what I've written now. 

Sorry to be so wordy about this - I didn't expect to write quite so much about it, but it's really affected my parts and I know my dreams have been expressing it - so I'm glad to be writing this today - and feeling a bit better.

Hope 

[Kizzie]

It make sense to me to have a private journal area for the reason you mention Hope.  Abusers can be very stalkery and determined so journals can be a way of finding someone give the accumulation of information.  Having a private area means those who may hold back from writing what they need/want to because of this can now have a place where it is safe to do so.

If anyone would like to move their journal over or start a journal please let me know - l.herod@yahoo.ca, post here or PM me.

Kizzie

[woodsgnome]

 

I go way back on this forum, and originally there were just a tiny handful of journals on here. I had one for a while but I've always had other (paper, then via 'files' kept on PC; quite voluminous, btw). My own prob with an online journal is just the many nuances and special circumstances which might require tedious explanations per the 'why' of some things, esp. events that are very individual.

I've only discussed the presence of the forum to a couple of people (I only know a couple anyway). To my own surprise, little details of my rather unique background could, and did, leak on here whether in the short-lived journal or just in the back-and-forth commentaries of a variety of posts. I'm very careful with info anyway, as I've never gotten away from trust issues with anybody. EXCEPT on here, where the participants have also 'walked the talk', as it were.

I can certainly understand the privacy option, but I also feel it rather defeats the idea of the forum itself. At first I was hesitant to even look others' journals -- it almost felt like prying into someone else's affairs. The counter to that, though, is that the site-forum also exists as a learning platform, from which participating members can and do share and learn from even the unique twists some other people courageously choose to open up about.

Remember, the key seems to involve being coy about one's precise location, as much as possible. It's also why we've all chosen unique idendities for this member's forum. The general public, per my understanding, cannot access anyone's material without 1)becoming a member themselves and 2)knowing your moniker as well. So there's at least that safeguard in place.

Interestingly, at the start the journals were few and far between, and even came with a hint in the guidelines that there may not even be much commentary. As was also noted, even if one was careful, their viewpoints were still evident via the journals content and other items posted by any one of us.

I had the good fortune to literally get away from the early people (FOO and their crowd), albeit I ran into bothersome sorts all along this scary ride called cptsd. Always careful, mind you, but also more and more willing to open up about some of the good things, too. Mine is a story with deep pain, but after many years of therapy as well as this site/forum, I've found the trek less perilous. Finding the 'right' sort of people that seem trustworthy, such as those of you reading this essay -- sorry, I meant to keep it brief but when the words start flowing, ya know what can happen.

One other minor detail per the journals -- as a bit of an information-seeker, there often are nuggets of info (books, conferences, articles, etc) which people include in their journals which I've often found very helpful. There are other categories in which these can be shared, but sometimes they only appear in someone's journal,

These are just a few observations (stop me while you can!) of a vet at perusing this site/forum's incredibly rich materials. The public/private issue here is paramount, though, and I can see the hazards that come with it.

                   

[Armee]

Maybe we just treat this as a trial option and see how it feels. I see both sides. I generally have not been very fearful because most people whonhave harmed me are dead but I was alarmed by the behavior of someone close to me and my brain spun and I felt intensely unsafe emotionally having things here knowing that someone who knew me to that level could easily tell it was me.

But I guess personally speaking I think the other sections of the forum are good for people perusing the site but I'd rather my journal not be for random browsing. But my understanding is that anyone even nonmembers can view the journals but just can't post. 

[Blueberry]

In another thread it came up that some members would be more comfortable having their journals in a private section of the forum.  I can set this up if there are some of you that would prefer your journals not to be read by the public.

Kizzie can you please define public in this context? Is that non-mbrs? Or non-mbrs plus mbrs who do not have their journal in the private section? Depending on that answer, my feelings about the private journal section will differ.

woodsgnome writes: The general public, per my understanding, cannot access anyone's material without 1)becoming a member themselves and 2)knowing your moniker as well. So there's at least that safeguard in place. Maybe there used to be that safeguard in place? I do remember back in my days as Mod, occasionally a mbr would write in a panic something like  OMG!You can google my moniker and anybody on the whole world wide web can read my posts!! and then delete all own posts. Although their moniker was something generic like Blueberry or Hoping to Heal or John and not firstname_lastname@emailaddress
For a few years there seemed to be this safeguard on OOTF but not here. That's what I wanted to pm you about Kizzie, but now my query is here. If I wasn't logged on on OOTF and wanted to check an old post of mine for information, I'd get an error message on OOTF when I used Search function but since the upgrade this year, that's no longer the case i.e. I get the info w/o logging on. I checked specially cuz that would have been my suggestion here. Comment Kizzie on feasibility or not? I know almost nothing about the functionality of websites.

woodsgnome, I agree with you on the nuggets of info hidden in journals. It would be 'nice' if they were at least accessible to all mbrs if not non-forum mbrs - so goes to my question in first para: Kizzie please define public in this context. Like you, woodsgnome, I see that the usage of journals has changed here over time (I've been on here a good few years, you've been on longer than me). Change isn't a bad thing - the forum and mbrs' needs have evolved and imo it's good the forum under Kizzie's guidance and direction has this flexibility -      for Kizzie. But one change I see over the past year or two is longer and longer texts especially in journals and more and more use of journals combined with less use in other areas of the forum. Kind of a shame because if I or others don't read all journals we don't get that specific information. Recently I wrote some information about smell flashbacks from my inpatient stay in what I hope is a good spot on the forum for anybody affected to find it. If that nugget of info were in my journal, who'd see it?? This is not a criticism of mbrs who only write in their journals cuz everybody on here has their reasons for doing what they do as they do. I'm actually trying to read fewer journals and not even start with new mbrs' journals. Intro post fine and with some older mbrs I feel I know better I want to keep up with their developments, I'll read journals.

Hope, I can relate to a lot of your worries and fears, including things like feeling 'left out', I had these too e.g. when the first zoom group was formed, but now I've signed up for the second one, so I've overcome some emotional hurdle or other. Not that there aren't at least 375 further hurdles in my life... I'm glad you're feeling safer now and can leave your texts up

Talking of longer texts, apologies for this long one, both summarising and logical clear communication w/o JADEing are very difficult for me   Origins in this beast called cptsd