New to this group

[Nasturtium]

Hello
I am so happy to have found OOTS. I choose the name Nasturtium because it's a flower that will keep growing even after you think you've pulled them all out. Sure enough the next spring they are sprouting up. I feel that's me as a survivor of FSA and someone living with CPTSD. I feel finally (I'm in my late 60's) that I am going to overcome a lifetime of feeling less than, depressed, occasional bad anxiety, and always not belonging anywhere.

I only recently, as in a month ago, found the work of Rebecca Mandeville and also Janina Fisher and both have been eye-opening, life changing discoveries. I have two older sisters who continue to scapegoat me but I am going no contact which is so helpful.

Happy to be here. Thanks to those who created this website and forum!

[Blueberry]

Welcome to the forum, Nasturtium I love your reasons for choosing your forum name Nasturtiums are pretty flowers too.

I'm sorry you need us, but seeing as that's the case, OOTS is a supportive and informative place. 

[Bermuda]

Welcome to the forum. I hope you find what you need here. I like your name choice too. Beautiful, resilient, and delicious too. 

I also am no contact and find the forum very helpful in navigating all those feelings.

[Kizzie]

Welcome!  Nasturtiumns are delicious in salads but no worries we won't eat you here    It's a great name and I love the reason you chose it. I'm in my late 60's too having only found out about CPTSD in my 50's. It's never too late 

[Still Working On This]

Hello
I a new to this group, looking for somewhere to chat as I am pretty isolated socially. I have CPTSD, which was diagnosed about 5 years ago. I have been in therapy since, which has helped a lot, but I still struggle with making friends and trusting others enough to let them in.
Hoping I can find some friends here.

[Bewildered]

Hi Nasturtium, welcome to the group.  I am also in my late 60's, new to the group and just learning about CPTSD.  Wow, do I ever understand the feeling of not belonging.  It is so great to be able to vent to people who don't expect us to be all together.

[Bewildered]

Hi Still Working on This, welcome to the group.  Social isolation is no fun.  I am realizing that social isolation was a big part of my childhood, so I get it.  Making friends and trust is difficult for me too.  It's easier online, and for me it is easier to write things out than to do it face to face.

[Nasturtium]

Thanks to all who replied and said welcome. Truly from my heart, it means so much. I only now found your replies as I'm still learning how to navigate this forum so apologies for not replying sooner. I just had some minor eye surgery so also i wasn't using my computer for a few days.
When I didn't see any replies to my other posts (I guess I didn't look at this one...) I immediately went to the "I'm unlovable/flawed theme so this is helpful to find your comments.
Someone in another post recommended Pete Walker's book, Complex PTSD From Surviving to Thriving. While recovering from my surgery, I listened to it on audio (from Libby the free library site) and it's already life changing. I will buy it today.
I hope you all are having a good day.

[blue_sky]

It's easier online, and for me it is easier to write things out than to do it face to face.

 

So glad to have found this online platform. Definitely much easier to write things than to do it face to face.

[Papa Coco]

Nasturtium

Welcome to the OOTS.

I cringed with a surge of compassion when I saw that you felt triggered because your posts weren't being responded to. I've felt that way too at times and I know how terrifying it feels to be unresponsded to. I'm very glad that you found the responses in this section before you did like so many of us do: Flee. As you'll read in Pete Walker's book, of the common threads of us with CPTSD, a big one is that we tend to have hair triggers on our flight response. We run and hide. I do it far too often myself and I'm very, very happy that you were able to stop that from happening here. That's absolutely a CPTSD condition. I have no doubt other members of this forum have felt that fear of rejection by not being responded to many times just as you and I have.

I find the forum to have so many topics that I can't read and respond to all of them, so I tend to spend most of my time here in the welcome section or over in the Recovery Journals section. The recovery journals are open to any topic, and a great place to keep ongoing discussions going for whomever feels the draw to do so.

Again: Welcome, welcome, welcome. I'm sorry you had to find us, but glad this OOTS forum was here for you when you needed it. I'm 63 and I've been a member here for two years. And if someone were to ever feel the need to write my life's story, they would need to make sure to include my time on this forum, because it's been a life altering help and has given me a lot of comfort in my retirement years.

I sincerely hope this forum gives you some of that same comfort.