CSA and Shame (Trigger Warning)

[Ellowyn]

As well as being emotionally abused by my parents, I was sexually abused by a family friend. It all happened through something called Naturism. My family were heavily involved in it and I spent a lot of my childhood lying to friends as to where I went on holiday because I would be on holidays where we wore no clothes most of the time. I became a good liar with a lot of things; I learn't young.

The family friend was someone I really liked and he became like a father figure to me because my own father was so neglecting towards me. Everything he did to me was done gently and I felt special and wanted. Now I know it was sexual abuse. But I struggle with liking him and wanting to spend time with him. I feel a lot of shame because of this.

So now I'm stuck with CPTSD as a result. I'm taking things slowly because everything is so triggering at the moment.

   

[Armee]

Hi. I'm sorry that happened to you and that secrecy had to be part of your childhood, too. I'm glad you are here speaking out and that you have so much wisdom to go slow. Welcome.

[blue_sky]

Welcome to OOTS Ellowyn

It is so brave of you to speak it out. Taking things slow is a very wise step.

I'm sorry you had to go through that and are in such confusion. Gentle    if that's okay.