Mom passed away

[freelancebaby]

Hi All,

My mom passed away about a week ago. She was the source of so much of my emotional pain- I yearned to have a mom, and my mom was schizophrenic and in boarding care homes and mental hospitals since before I was born.

I'm feeling relief and that some of my depression, which I attributed to maybe weird brain chemistry, was directly related to the ongoing troubles I dealt with in relation to her. She was a kind and gentle soul, but she always left me feeling abandoned.

[Kizzie]

I'm so sorry to hear this freelancebaby, it's hard at any time of the year but especially so at the holidays.  I lost my mom about a month ago and I understand the mixed feelings to be sure. Big, warm hug if that's okay. 

[freelancebaby]

Sorry to hear about your mom passing, too. It's comforting to have someone relate to the experience, even if it's one of complexities. Hugs back. 

[Armee]

 

Very much relate. My mom, diagnosed bipolar byt very likely schizoaffective, was also the source of so much distress and died a couple years ago. Somewhere on the blog section of this site I wrote about the shame I felt around being so relieved at her death.

I just drove by the beautiful stunningly beautiful place in nature where I recently scattered her ashes and I couldn't even look at it and felt intense anger when I drove by, and yet I consider myself a kind person. It really is confusing and I am so sorry for your multiple losses and griefs, whatever the underlying nature of them.

[freelancebaby]

Thank you for sharing this, Armee.

[NarcKiddo]

I am sorry for the troubles you have had to endure, and I am sorry for your loss.

[Kizzie]

How are doing freelancebaby?

[Hope67]

Hi Freelancebaby,
I am also sorry for your loss. 
Hope