Hope's Journal 2024

[Hope67]

Thank you so much everyone for what you wrote.          

[Hope67]

2nd December 2024
I am just clearing out some papers, and came across some notes I wrote that I'd like to keep here, and shred the paper copy:

The notes are from Christy Gibson's book 'The Modern Trauma Toolkit' (2023)

p.9 "A traumatized mom might be detached from her children to protect from her own pain."

p.20 "It's not the event, but the response, that matters."

p.21 "In many cases, the most damaging person that causes trauma is a parent, which is unexpected and scary for a child."  "developmental or attachment trauma."

p.22 "When something happens and we feel isolated when we deal with it, that's more likely to cause a future trauma response."  "It's hard to be a parent when you never knew what safe parenting looked like from your own childhood."

p.27 "The aim of this book is to help you to find skills, tools, and concepts to move toward post-traumatic growth."

p.36 "Own point of view.  Person you're interacting with.  Person watching the overall scene.  The more distance, the less pain is re-experienced."

p.42 "the brain turns neutral signals into scary ones."

p.43 "her anxiety seems to live in her guts."  "gurling in her stomach"

(wow, I really relate to that one, my guts often speak out loud - lots of gurling noises)

p.48 "I believe that the body is the best initial doorway for trauma responses" Somatic therapy.

p.50 "Recent research shows that feelings are just an interpretation of physical symptoms, an expectation of the emotion that makes sense in the context."  "Likewise, if people are conditioned to believe that when their heart pounds, it represents fear, then that is the emotion they will interpret.  By associating the racing heart with excitement, you can change this emotional experience."

p.51 "all emotions are perceptions in the brain."  Creating new neural linkages. (this gives me hope - the neuroplasticity of it)

I found those notes to be quite uplifting and also relate to them.  I can shred the pages now and keep the notes here.  It was good to re-process what was written by typing it here - but the actual hand-writing of the notes also is a great way for me to process things.  I am hoping to remind myself to keep more written journals active - to look at current thoughts and feelings - but so far, I've been tending to write out notes from books that I'm reading, rather than journalling very much.

I am feeling stressed lately by some issues relating to in-law relationships - but I think I'm managing to keep my head above water and handle those things.  But it's challenging, and I've been finding that I feel quite angry about some things, and wish that people could be more up front about their intentions and what they want - rather than using passive agressive kind of means to communicate. 

I might take a break from social media this coming few days - not sure whether I'll definitely do that or not, but I think it's nice to do that sometimes, and is a good break - so maybe I will do it.  I'll see how I feel.

Hope

[AphoticAtramentous]

Thanks for sharing these quotes, Hope. They were very insightful for myself! I'm especially drawn to:

p.50 "Recent research shows that feelings are just an interpretation of physical symptoms, an expectation of the emotion that makes sense in the context."  "Likewise, if people are conditioned to believe that when their heart pounds, it represents fear, then that is the emotion they will interpret.  By associating the racing heart with excitement, you can change this emotional experience."

Perception is an incredibly powerful thing. Since I've started taking some antidepressants, I have felt my heart beating faster in my chest. At first, I automatically assumed that the medication was making my body more anxious. But when I looked at my smart watch, I could see absolutely no difference in my average heart rates before and after taking the meds. And it made me realise, perhaps it's not my body that's changed but my own perception of my body. My heart isn't beating faster, I'm just recognising my own heart beat more. And this quote that you've provided came at a great time to solidify that theory. So thanks for that!

I'm sorry you've been having some troubles with your in-laws. Wishing you all the best with it. I also highly support your idea of a social media break!

Regards,
Aphotic.

[dollyvee]

Hi Hope,

I'm sorry you have to deal with the passive aggressive behaviour from your inlaws. I find it so difficult to deal with as well.

Sending you support 
dolly