Hope's Journal 2024

[dollyvee]

Ah I think I understand a bit better now - that it wasn't a member of your FOO, but his in the gothic house. I wonder perhaps if your doing the work with your FOO might bring up issues with his FOO that he would prefer to not address, and just leave as they are? But that's my interpretation.

 Glad you have some positive feelings now

[Hope67]

Hi NarcKiddo, Thank you so much 

Hi Dollyvee,  I think you're right in your interpretation.  Definitely!  Thanks for the hug, and I'm happy to be feeling some positive feelings more often now, than before.   

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7th April 2024
I have some stressful things coming up in the next couple of weeks - I'm not sure how it's going to go.  I might not be able to be in the forum much during those two weeks, but I am reluctant to say I won't be around - as I might be!  I had been wondering whether to open up and ask for advice/support with the things that I'm anticipating - but in the end, I couldn't think of exactly what I wanted to say - and therefore I've not managed to do that.  This may or may not be a good thing - maybe I'll cope better than I think I will.  I hope so.  If I can get opportunity to come here and write something that might convey some of the issues, then that's good, but if not, that's ok too.

The main thing is that I know that this forum, and everyone here is, are here and that you care.  I feel that.  That helps in itself.  It really does.

What I do hope to do, is after the anticipated difficult events are over, that I might be able to reflect in here, and mention some things about it - that I will then be able to remember and learn from. 

Anyway, I'll be around after two weeks, if not before.  Sending hugs to you all 

Hope 

[Blueberry]

Thanks for letting us know and tons of good wishes for what you're facing  

[Armee]

Wishing you strength for getting through these 2 weeks. 

Sometimes I write things that I know won't make sense to people reading just to get the things out of my mind and in the process helping to get them a little clearer to myself. Just saying that so you remember it's OK to just write here for yourself and ok to write things that don't make sense (yet).

 

[sanmagic7]

with you, hope, as always.  love and hugs

[Hope67]

Hi everyone,
Thank you so much for what you each wrote      I really REALLY appreciated seeing your kind words - it's helped me a LOT in the past few days.  I have felt like it's an oasis of peace here, to come back and read things - and it's helped me to feel that I can get through the things I've needed to tackle in these days. 

I'm not through it yet - another few days to go, but I am so grateful that I can come here and gain things from doing so. 

Hope to be able to write more next week - when everything might feel a bit calmer.

Hope 

[sanmagic7]

still with you, hope.  love and hugs

[Armee]

Me, too. Still with you. We too.

[NarcKiddo]

I hope the stressful things you anticipated were/are not as stressful as you thought. Thanks for checking in. Sending you ongoing good wishes and hope things calm down for you soon.

 

[woodsgnome]

Hope wrote: ''I feel like it''s an oasis of peace here'' 

     

       

[Papa Coco]

Hope,

I agree, and I'm glad you feel like it's an oasis of peace here.

 

[Hope67]

Hi SanMagic,Armee,NarcKiddo,woodsgnome, and Papa Coco,

        

Thank you so much for what you each said.  I really appreciated you writing what you did.  It helped me through the time when I had some stressful stuff going on.  Thank you!

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24th April 2024
Last night I dreamed about my past work - it felt very emotional - but it was also noticeable that I seemed to be processing things about it - which I thought was a good thing.  I even cried in my sleep.  I'm glad though - because I want to process things, and I felt it was definitely doing that.

I hope to write more in the coming week - as I want to write a few things.
Hope 

[Blueberry]

  Hi Hope,

it's nice to see you back. I'm sorry you're having difficult or sad, painful dreams but I'm happy for you that you can see the good side there, that you're processing some things.

 

[Hope67]

Thanks so much Blueberry, it's good to be back. 

[Hope67]

25th April 2024
I was surprised last night, because I had quite a bad night terror - my partner told me I screamed very loudly - I do have some memory of it, but when he asked me 'What did you see?' I replied 'I don't know' - I purely felt the terror, the feeling as if I was going to die, that kind of feeling.  I didn't know what had preceded that. 

My partner said 'You've not had one of those for years!' - I think that's surprising how his concept of time has gone, to think it's been 'years' - it's probably been 'months' or maybe 1 or 2 years - I feel sure I've had some other similar night terrors within that time, but certainly it's nothing like it used to be previously.  I am so relieved about that.

What disconcerted me about this time, was that I recognised that the past few weeks have been more stressful for me, as I knew there were some things that would cause me significant stress - but those things are over now, and so I wasn't expecting to feel stressed in my sleep, and certainly not to have a night terror.  I have no idea what the triggers for it were.  But then, maybe it's not always something I can pinpoint - that is sometimes the case.  I did wonder whether part of me had felt so concerned about the previous weeks of stress, that she was still really upset and therefore affecting my sleep in that way - being scared and full of terror.  I shall certainly try to calm all my inner parts - and keep being there for them daily - which I've managed to do for quite some time, but maybe it's needed more at the moment.

I've noticed that if I miss a session of EFT and meditation on any specific day, that it definitely impacts on my inner parts.  So being reliably there for them daily - and infact I have now got into a routine where I start each day (whilst preparing breakfast) where I do 2 sets of EFT tapping.  Then mid morning I will do EFT tapping for about 5 minutes followed by meditation for about 10 to 20 minutes.  The same in the afternoon.  The same in the evening.  So that's quite a lot of routine, but I think it helps significantly. 

I am attempting to lose some weight - I started about three days ago, and I'm counting my calories to try to achieve that.  I had ended up comfort eating a LOT in the past few weeks, to help me to handle the stressful stuff that had been going on, and therefore I gained quite a bit of weight.  I really hope to lose it again.  So far so good, some has already come off.  I am glad.

I know there are more things I would like to write about here, but I can't remember what they are just now!  I need to make a note of them.  Hopefully then I can write about them, as I think it would be helpful to do so.

Hope