Hope's Journal 2024

[GoSlash27]

 Hope67,
 I know this is a really big ask: Can you describe to me in as much detail as possible what your 'night terror' episodes are like? I understand if you'd find that too upsetting, so please don't if it's too distressing.
 I'm just wondering if your night terrors are similar to mine. If so, I may have some *good* news for you regarding them.

Best,
-Slashy

[Little2Nothing]

Hope, I completely empathize with you. Even though I don't remember what I dreamed the bad feelings stay with me, sometimes all day. 

[Hope67]

Hi Slashy - Thank you for that question, I had to think about it quite hard, but I've managed to try to describe my experience of my night terrors for you:

So, my night terrors are such that I wake up from sleep feeling an overwhelming sense of dread, as if I'm in imminent danger, but most often I can't understand why.  I might scream, cry, and/or sometimes in the past I've literally launched myself out of bed and across the room.  My heart often races and I breathe fast.  I think it feels like having a panic attack whilst being half-asleep.  I think I'm in a twilight zone between sleep and wakefulness.  In past instances, I have sometimes felt/experienced something fearful – i.e. sometimes it's as if there's someone in the room and they're trying to kill me/crush me/ hurt me – maybe sometimes I've noticed a knife or dagger coming towards me, or someone in the room with a gun.  Once it was a man trying to mow me down with a lawn-mower.  Once it was something really dangerous coming down from the sky to crush me.  I truly believed I was going to die.  Very scary.  As a child, they involved recurrent experiences of giant moths flying towards me, and feeling of being trapped/crushed/scared.  That went on for several year in my childhood, and thankfully as an adult, I've not had that same experience, only the things I've just written about.

I have often felt the 'sense of dread' at night – usually around 1am (if I notice the clock) and I've on those occasions been able to lean into the feeling, and try to communicate with the scared/anxious part of myself, and I've successfully been able to help that part to relax and therefore, for many nights in recent couple of years, I've felt the dread less and less and felt more comfy in bed.  However, I still get occasional experiences of night terrors – like the one last night.  I literally felt the terror and dread, and some kind of sense that maybe I was going to be crushed/killed – but essentially didn't notice more than that.  I slept fairly quickly afterwards – I wish I could have said the same for my partner – he told me he'd been awake for a while afterwards. 

Actually I talked to him further about it, and asked him why he hadn't noticed the other night terrors in this past couple of years – as he had commented 'You've not been this bad for years' – and he clarified that he meant that I hadn't screamed so loud for years – apparently it is a blood curdling scream.  (I don't even think I'd be able to scream as an adult now – so I don't know how I manage to do that at night like that).

Slashy - if you do have any *good* news to share about night terrors, I would love to hear that.  Thank you!  I am glad you have some good news - I'm presuming you've been able to help yourself with them, in some way. 

Hi Little2Nothing  Thank you so much for your empathy in this situation.  I am sorry that you have bad feelings that stay with you sometimes all day.  I hope that will change at some point in the future, so you are not affected so much in the daytime.

**********
25th April 2024
I am pleased that I managed to write about my night terrors in response to Slashy's question.  At first there were some reluctant parts of myself who didn't think I could do it, but I have!  So I'm pleased.  I welcome it as a chance to discuss it - and maybe get some help in going forwards with it.

What I think is interesting is that I've hardly ever talked to anyone (except my partner) and maybe one friend, about having night terrors.  I think it is something I maybe should have asked for help with when I was so much younger.  But somehow I felt it wasn't something I could discuss.

Actually what disturbs me a lot, is that there was an occasion when I was single, and a lot younger, when I ended up waking up and finding that I had completely shredded a nightie that I was wearing - in the light of day, if I'd been incredibly strong, and had wished to intentionally shred that nightie, I really don't think I'd have been able to do it, yet in the night, I did it - without even knowing that I'd done it.  That scares me.  That I was capable of that.

Good to have written about this.
Hope 

[NarcKiddo]

 

[Hope67]

Thank you so much NarcKiddo - I must admit I am feeling a bit 'hyper' now - I think I'll have to step away from the forum for a bit, as I think I've perhaps triggered myself a bit - but it's ok.  I'll be back!  I just feel as if I've been writing things in other people's journals and I don't feel as if I'm in control of myself - so therefore might be triggered!

I appreciate your group hug - thank you 

I'm going to take it easy this evening and hopefully enjoy watching some TV that is calming.  I think I need to do that.  (I apologise if I've written anything in anyone's journal that doesn't make sense - I normally try to think more carefully - and I was writing quicker than I should have).

Hope 

[GoSlash27]

Hope67,
Yes ma'am! Your night terrors are a lot like mine. That sense that somebody or something is coming to kill you. You're paralyzed. You can't move, can't scream, you're fighting to wake up. Eventually you manage to fight your way back to terrified wakefulness and... Nothing.

I do have some good news for you. I'm going to post it under the 'sleeping disorders' subsection because it's rather long.

Best,
-Slashy

[Blueberry]

25th April 2024
I've noticed that if I miss a session of EFT and meditation on any specific day, that it definitely impacts on my inner parts.  So being reliably there for them daily - and infact I have now got into a routine where I start each day (whilst preparing breakfast) where I do 2 sets of EFT tapping.  Then mid morning I will do EFT tapping for about 5 minutes followed by meditation for about 10 to 20 minutes.  The same in the afternoon.  The same in the evening.  So that's quite a lot of routine, but I think it helps significantly. 

I'm really impressed with this routine you've been keeping up!!   I'm sure it does help significantly. For about a week I've been doing a 15 minute meditation immediately after getting up and taking my thyroid meds and I notice a shift already in various aspects. EFT does work too, I know that. I do it sometimes but not daily like you. And then you being reliably there for your inner parts    

[Hope67]

Hi Slashy  Thanks again for what you wrote about your night terrors and lucid dreaming - I just read it in the other part of the forum, and I replied there.  I appreciated you taking the time to write about your experiences, it's been very helpful to me.  I feel sure it will hopefully help other people too.  Interestingly for me, I seem to be on the range of dissociative experiences where I 'can' move - as I will leave the bed (more previously than now, as my partner admits he will keep hold of me now rather than let me launch off) - I found what you wrote to be hopeful - that there is more opportunity to progress in calming the night terrors - and I think I'll be considering them with less fear than previously.  I had already noticed some definite improvements - so I feel like I'm progressing in that way.  I haven't had many recently but if I do get any - I'll hopefully be less afraid.

Hi Blueberry - Thank you so much for your encouragement - and for what you said about my 'routine' with the EFT and meditation.  I'm glad that you're also finding some positive things with your own meditation and EFT.        That's me and you, cheering each other along.  I love that!   

***********
26th April 2024

I did some 'research' on the computer, and have got these notes about Night terrors and lucid dreaming (spurred on by Slashy's kind sharing of stuff related to this), and just wanted to keep those notes here in my journal - to refer back to:

"Yes, there is some evidence suggesting a relationship between night terrors and lucid dreaming. Research indicates that both sleep paralysis and lucid dreaming are dissociated experiences related to rapid eye movement (REM) sleep. A study found that the frequency of sleep paralysis and lucid dreaming were positively related, especially when sleep paralysis episodes included vestibular-motor hallucinations, which involve illusory movement and out-of-body experiences1. Dissociative experiences during wakefulness were identified as a common predictor for both sleep paralysis and lucid dreaming, suggesting that these experiences during REM sleep may reflect a continuation of dissociative experiences in waking states1.

Additionally, lucid dreaming has been explored as a potential therapeutic approach for those who experience frequent nightmares, with some success in reducing the average number of nightmares2. This suggests that while night terrors and lucid dreaming are distinct phenomena, they may share some common underlying mechanisms related to dissociation and REM sleep.

Night terrors are typically characterized by intense fear and panic during sleep, often accompanied by screaming, crying, or thrashing. While most people remain still during night terrors, it is not uncommon for some individuals to exhibit movement or even get out of bed. Here are some points to consider:

1.   Variability: Night terrors can manifest differently in different individuals. Some people may experience minimal movement, while others might exhibit more pronounced physical activity.

2.   Spectrum of Intensity: Night terrors exist on a spectrum. At one end, there are mild episodes with minimal movement, and at the other end, there are more severe cases where individuals may move around or even leave their bed.

3.   REM Sleep Paralysis: Night terrors occur during non-REM (NREM) sleep, but they can sometimes overlap with REM sleep. During REM sleep, our muscles are typically paralyzed to prevent us from acting out our dreams. However, in some cases, this paralysis may not be complete, leading to movement during night terrors.

4.   Individual Differences: Factors such as genetics, stress, sleep quality, and overall health can influence the severity and characteristics of night terrors. Some people may be more prone to movement during these episodes.

5.   Consult a Professional: If someone consistently experiences night terrors with significant movement, it's advisable to consult a healthcare professional. They can assess the individual's specific situation and provide guidance.

In summary, while movement during night terrors is less common, it is not unusual. Each person's experience can vary, and understanding the underlying factors can help manage and cope with these episodes. If someone is concerned about their night terrors, seeking professional advice is recommended. 🌙

Vestibular-motor hallucinations involve imagined sensations related to movement, out-of-body experiences, or feelings of bliss. These experiences can occur during sleep paralysis, a condition characterized by a brief loss of muscle control just after falling asleep or before waking up. Sleep paralysis often includes distressing hallucinations, and vestibular-motor hallucinations are one of the types that individuals may encounter during these episodes1. 🌙

The study on the frequency of sleep paralysis and lucid dreaming was conducted by researchers Remington Mallett, Laura Sowin, Rachel Raider, Karen R Konkoly, and Ken A Paller. It was published in the journal SLEEP Advances, Volume 3, Issue 1, in 20221. The study sought to quantify the positive and negative aspects of seeking lucid dreams, describe their phenomenology, and identify features associated with positive or negative experiences1.

The main findings of the study on the frequency of sleep paralysis and lucid dreaming were that there is a positive and significant correlation between the two phenomena. The research concluded that there is indeed a connection between lucid dreaming and sleep paralysis, suggesting that individuals who experience one are more likely to experience the other1.

Research has shown that trauma can significantly impact dream patterns. Here are some key points related to trauma and its effects on dreams:

1.   Trauma-Related Dreams: After experiencing trauma, it's common to have nightmares and anxiety dreams. These disturbed dreams often incorporate similar feelings and sensations to those experienced during the trauma. Trauma-related dreams may involve re-experiencing traumatic events or memories and can be distressing, intense, and vivid.
2.   Why Does Trauma Affect Dreams? While there isn't broad consensus on why trauma affects dreams, several hypotheses exist:
o   Memory Consolidation: Dreams may help integrate traumatic experiences into long-term memory. They simulate threatening events and allow us to try out different responses.
o   Revisiting Trauma: Dreams might allow people to revisit and attempt to work through old trauma.
o   Transforming Shame: Nightmares may transform shame associated with trauma into fear.
3.   Nightmares and PTSD: Nightmares are common after trauma, especially in post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). They may be an intense expression of the body working through traumatic experiences. Fortunately, for most people, trauma-related nightmares subside after a few weeks or months.
4.   Lucid Dreaming: Lucid dreaming (LD) is a learnable strategy to cope with nightmares. In LDs, the dreamer is aware of the dreaming state and can control dream content. Recent research suggests that LD therapy (LDT) could be an alternate or complementary treatment option for nightmares in PTSD, specifically for symptoms of anxiety and depression.
In summary, trauma can significantly influence dream experiences, and lucid dreaming may offer a way to cope with trauma-related nightmares. 🌙"

Note to self: Maybe explore how people use Lucid Dreaming to help with the night terrors, and try it out.  But be cautious! 

I'm finding the first week of my new diet (calorie counting) is going well so far.  Just being aware of the calories in each meal etc has really opened my eyes to what I've been eating and what my body needs.  I hope that I will be losing some weight - and get the extra weight off sooner rather than later.  I feel good about that. 

Hope 

[sanmagic7]

hope, that's a lot of info on our sleeping state and what our minds might be doing during it.  thanks. it makes sense.  i'm glad your partner has noted you've not been having so many so intensely of late.  sorry you have to go thru this at all.  i hope it continues to get better as your mind continues to make progress thru it all.  i think your routine might be helping as well. keep up the good work!  love and hugs

[Armee]

Hi Hope. Thanks for sharing all that. 

[Little2Nothing]

This topic on dreaming is very interesting. For years I had the same dream, with slight variations, multiple times a week. The worst of it was feeling incapable of moving. It was frightening and I would always wake my wife up screaming. I don't know how she put up with it. Thankfully that began to become less in the past 7 or 8 years. I never quit understood what was going on, this topic has been very helpful in gaining some insight. So thanks, Hope for sharing.

[GoSlash27]

Hope67,
 I'm glad you took the time to research the subject and confirmed the causal link I have experienced and noted myself.
 Night terrors are truly awful, but lucid dreams are equally wonderful.
 The trick is to trust that you are truly safe, not fight to wake up, and allow the lucid dream to happen. It's *totally* worth it and you will build that trust over time.
 I sincerely hope this helps you, and all others here who suffer from night terrors.

Best,
-Slashy

[dollyvee]

Hi Hope,

Moths are interesting to me. I remember reading about them years ago in the book that's mentioned here in this link. You can take it with a grain of salt, but I do believe this man had an experience that was quite like any other and made a website to find other people because it was so outside of his experience. Maybe it's another aspect (spiritual) to your night terrors, which to me, can also be quite scary in itself to consider these things.

https://cosmicmoth.com/

After my dad died, I would frequently go back to our house in dreams. However, over the years the house would change and eventually, I stopped going. I do think we try to make sense of things, all that subconscious stuff, in our dreams, and once we "get it," we move on or it changes.

Sending you support,
dolly

[Hope67]

  I hope to write something to each of you, but right now, I'm just thanking you for what you wrote.   

[dollyvee]