Hope's Journal 2024

[Larry]

 

[Hope67]

Hi NarcKiddo,SanMagic & Aphotic,
Thank you all so much for what you wrote.      

18th November 2024
A little while since I wrote here.  Just wanted to pop by and write something, however small - and hope to write more when I feel the moment is right. 
Hope

[Hope67]

Hi Larry,
Thanks so much for your   
Hope

[NarcKiddo]

 

[Armee]

Hi Hope. 

[Blueberry]

 

[Hope67]

Hi NarcKiddo, Armee & Blueberry - thank you all so much     

*******
21st November 2024 (maybe a TW, but not sure what I'm going to write)

In the past week or so, I've finished reading a book by Lucia Osborne-Crowley called 'The Lasting Harm'.  I must say that I thought the book was well written, and I think Lucia was brave to share everything that she did - she looks at a court case, and attended that court case daily to make really good accounts of what happened, and what I found particularly helpful (from my self-help kind of reading) was that she quoted some of the specialists who spoke about sexual assault and issues relating to that.  I really found it helpful to read Lucia's book.  Regarding the specialist who spoke - her name was Dr Lisa Rocchio who is a Clinical and Forensic Psychologist.  She has had 30 years experience treating patients with traumatic stress and child sexual assault.  I learned quite a lot from reading the book, and I think it did me good to read it.  I took quite a few notes from it, so feel that writing the notes was a way to process what was said in a deeper way, and therefore more parts of myself listened to the information that way.

*********
At the moment, I am reading Rick Astley's autobiography, which is interesting because he is a similar age to me, and I am therefore interested to hear his experiences from similar times in life in the UK. 

************
Regarding dreams - I had some realistic dreams lately - and one in particular stayed with me, as I was crying in the dream, but upon waking realised I was also crying in real life - it was related to a work situation - it makes me think that I am processing past work issues in my sleep.  I'm pleased to be doing that - as I think processing things is healthy for me.  I recognise that I had repressed so many things, and not processed them.  So gradually doing that now, it is good - it feels healthy.

**********
I think things have improved in terms of not having had any night terrors for a considerable period of time - a few months.  This is an improvement for sure. 

I think I am also much better able to regulate my emotions - and give myself time to 'feel' them, and I am actually feeling them rather than my previous tendency to be more numb.  I watched the film 'Lee' last night, starring Kate Winslet, and that was incredibly emotive - some harrowing content from the second world war - but I allowed myself to cry and didn't repress the feelings - which is what I might have done previously.

********
I've started to listen to more u-tube videos involving sessions that involve Reiki - because somehow I feel that I am more open to the idea of clearing energies within my body, and those videos have been helpful to enable me to do that. 

I regularly do body scans and continue to do some EFT tapping as well - I've built it into my daily routine - doing some EFT whilst getting ready in the morning (whilst I'm in the bathroom, so I can do it privately).  I also do some in the kitchen, whilst preparing breakfast.  It seems to make me feel better to start the day in that way.

**********
Got to go now, I hear the laundry has finished.
Hope

[rainydiary]

I was glad to read your updates. 

[sanmagic7]

hope, i am SO happy to hear that your night terrors have given you a break lately!  yay!

the progress you have made so far is remarkable, especially since you are doing it on your own.  allowing yourself to feel your feelings, not numbing yourself immediately, putting EFT into your daily routine - well done! progress, a lot of progress. love and hugs

[dollyvee]

 

[NarcKiddo]

That's a really positive update. It was good to read. 

[AphoticAtramentous]

Lots of nice things to read here, Hope. Also thank you, you have reminded me I need to wash my laundry today, haha.

Regards,
Aphotic.

[Chart]

Happy to read your positive updates, Hope.
 

[Papa Coco]

Hope,

This is all really good to hear. I'm glad you're feeling better these days. It seems to me that your being able to cry at the movie was a good sign. Progress.

My therapist often says that our goal is to get better access to energy. Better access to our dreams and to our own minds.  All those beautiful protectors and parts and exiles were there to protect us, and for that we can be grateful. We might be alive today because of our Parts. But the unintended consequences of the protection is that it also buffers us from our raw emotions.  To cry at a sensitive movie is appropriate. It's a good sign. It feels to me like you are gaining access to your own feelings, and for that, I say Congratulations. Emotions, when they are appropriate, are wonderful to feel. Crying at sadness feels good. Crying at not getting what I want feels bad. But as we gain access to our own spiritual selves, we start to level out and feel things appropriately. That's a sign that we are starting to get better.

I am familiar with Reiki. I used to study it and practice it way back in the 1990s. You said that you are visiting YouTube sites that are providing energy clearing...and I'm intrigued. I did go to an energy healer this last summer. It was freaky. I felt VERY different afterward. Here's a funny story about that event:

I have scoliosis. It causes a lot of back, neck and leg pain. I see massage therapists rather than chiropractors because after decades of regular chiropractic services, my body resists them now. So I get massages from qualified practitioners. My current Massage Therapist (MT) is also an energy healer. I asked her if she would do a 90 minute chakra clearing session for the price of my normal massage. She did. And now for the part of the story that makes it important that you know that she is also my MT.  I've been getting monthly massages from this practitioner for 7 years. On the day of the Energy Work, I put my clothing and electronics on the chair exactly as I always do in my massage sessions. I lay on the same table, facing the same direction, with the same MT that has worked on me for 7 years. But this time something very bizarre happened. There were three times during the 90 minutes when out of NOWHERE, my iPhone's Siri voice woke up and said, "Who do you want me to call?" She wouldn't stop asking until I said "Nobody." MT and I joke about it now, saying that our energy work was calling in my angels and guides, and the iPhone was picking up on that. LOL.

I've seen her for normal massages 6 times now since that day. I continue to my iPhone in that same spot. Siri never says a word.

I just think this is a cute story that is received well by those of us who believe that energy and spirituality and humanity are all happening at once here.

But I like that you said you can find energy work on YouTube. I think I'm going to see if I can give that a try. It's already been proven to me that energy work is helpful. All need now is to find ways to partake. And if I could do it at home, at no expense, it would sure allow for a lot more access to healing.

[Chart]