Look Back

[Little2Nothing]

TRIGGER WARNING 

I had posted this earlier in my journal. Hadn't noticed this section for poems so I thought I would repeat them here.

This poem was written on a day when I was reflecting on my life. The TW is because of the darkness of the poem. I like rhyme and meter in poems so forgive the "old fashiony" feel of this.


Look back old man
At squandered years
Filled with dark dismay
Your ripened fruit 
Has rotten grown
Long night replaces day

Your aching steps
Still testify
Of pain and sad regret
For light grown dim
And hope deferred
Your sun will soon be set

Sad memories
Are all you have
They like a cancer grow
Each passing day
They cloud your joy 
With painfulness and woe

Your time is past
For hope to rise
You've sealed your hapless fate
No time to heal 
Your broken heart
The darkened tomb awaits

What would you give
To be redeemed
From life's relentless pain
To know just once
The sweet refrain
You have not lived in vain.

[Kizzie]

It is dark but quite honestly as I am aging (67) I am beginning to have these kinds of feelings and thoughts sometimes when I am in a down or sad mood. I often see people on TV looking back at their lives and happy times and I don't have a lot of those so it's hard to watch or think about. I have a lovely H and S and we have done a lot together and yet so often the trauma overshadows the good in my life.

I do wonder if I will ever get to a place where I experience unfettered peace and joy before I leave this world. I do know I have not lived in vain but I need to be able to bring the good to the surface and feel the positive things in life more than I can/do. I still keep chugging along and hope that I live long enough for that to happen. 

[Little2Nothing]

Kizzie, I don't feel this way everyday. But, I feel it more often than I like. I have much to be grateful for - my wife, kids, and grandkids all of whom bring me moments of happiness. 

Today is a good day. I feel hopeful as much as this curse will allow. 

[blue_sky]

Beautiful poem Little2Nothing and I actually enjoyed the "old fashiony" feel of it   

[Little2Nothing]

Thank you, blue_sky