Tiny Astronaut

[Awb1988]

first date jitters
looking up i find comfort
among the stars

when i was young, i built a child-sized rocket for space and time travel, discovering distant places
where my memories could no longer hurt me.......

at first i thought him charming
his smile disarmed
and I felt this need to nourish
a starved yearning

i wonder if he knows...
that this innocent trust we'd built
between drinks and conversation
gave me hope

i want to tell him
that i'm a tiny astronaut

i wonder if he knows though....
when he tried to unbutton my shirt
that flinch of defensiveness
was not foreplay

I wonder if he knows....
that his hot soured breath
sticking to my neck
while he tried to kiss me
sent me back
to that place from before I mastered space

i wonder if he knows ....
my hate for the scent of pine
that i can still feel the needles pricking my face
as the shadow's weight held me down
and i tried not to suffocate on dirt

does he know what it's like, to float away, weightless
and find yourself at ease in the void

i wonder if he knows...
me walking away, filled me with tears
not for myself
but for the boy who couldn't
all those years


i wonder

[NarcKiddo]

That is so beautifully written.

[BecomingMe]

As NarcKiddo said - so beautifully written and filled with emotion. Your poetry is so moving

[With Love]

This is beautifully written. The tiny astronaut analogy depicts the naivety & innocence of a child escaping while the more mature version of you is stuck in the tiny spaceship still trying to protect yourself wondering if they notice & they do. Then they take advantage of innocent, naive and vulnerable you.

I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that. You are a pure precious angel and you're loved. Nobody deserves to be hurt, violated or abused.

[Kizzie]

Beautiful and haunting at the same time Awb. It seems to me you know you don't have to be a tiny astronaut here, that it is safe to speak of such things and you don't have to go away here.