Flashback box

[Marianne]

I often respond stupidly when flashing back. Only in response to my dad. I either fight or fawn. Mostly both. I tell him honestly that he is abusive, then fawn. It works against me.

My therapist recommended a flashback box. I have two now.

An anger/fight box which I still need to fill.

And a shame/fawn box. That has beautiful cards with religious quotes, essential oils, calming tea, will have a cd, etc.

The thought is you can grab something right away...that works on all your senses...and doesn't need thinking.

Ideas on what to put in the fight and fawn box?

[Cascade]

Great question, Marianne!
You mentioned beautiful cards with religious quotes.  How about reminder cards that you decorate as you please, with things that are difficult to remember in the moment?

Fight

• Hey, what gives you the right?

Fawn

• What do I need for me right now?
• What do I want for me right now?
  

Do you have a list of your skills and accomplishments that you can refer to when you forget those?  I haven't done that myself yet... been too flashed back, lol!

Happy box building,
   -Cascade

[Marianne]

Thanks for the nice response. That's a great idea. I don't have a list, but I will make one.

I do have cards with texts like "be still" (fight) or "you are worthy" (fawn). Whenever I feel upset there's beautiful songs coming up in my mind, like "let it be". I might buy a single.

[Blueberry]

Here are some ideas, maybe

https://www.cptsd.org/forum/index.php?topic=6910.msg52936#msg52936

I include symbols for things I can do instead of getting 'uselessly angry', which would keep me in a kind of loop, rather than leaving the anger behind. So move to music can help, but also write on OOTS including Recovery Letters (to not send), singing certain things can help too. Or phoning particular friends. Also scribbling really quickly on paper, especially using the colour red. Or shredding paper.