Needs unmet

[Boatsetsailrose]

Really need to post tonight and very grateful for this forum and people just like me (in terms of this stuff..

I am getting to see so clearly my need to have people like me and my need for attention.. 'what about me!! Is a common voice I hear inside myself lately .. 
It feels good though - that I can hear that part of me (addiction free) and that I get to be something different to get my needs met...
Neg auto thoughts I get a lot are 'they don't like me' and I feel such shame for being me - but I put on a jokey front - to get attention-
I am learning to be vulnerable (a little at a time) eye contact and sharing a little of me and my life - so others can see who I am - it's scarey but it feels good
I want to be parented by people - I think that's what it is - for others to include me - nurture me - and I'm getting to see how relating is a two way thing ( I used to be too over caring for others -

The other thing I'm struggling with is critical thinking of my partner - he just isn't good enough on any level (according to my head ) and tonight I had a realisation that that voice is my mothers to my father - the fundamental message is - 'you don't make me feel whole ' and of course no one does until we feel whole ourselves -

I am so grateful to be able to write this evening and share -
It's been such a long journey but I really see am making progress -
Getting my needs met both internally and in relationships - new ground to a new life xx

[Sandals]

I adore this post!!!! Good for you, on all fronts. Being brave and vulnerable (at the same time) and recognising where that critical voice is coming from. All are huge things!

[Boatsetsailrose]

Thank you 

[Jdog]

BSR-

Great stuff here.  I very much resonate with the needing attention part and have been bombarding my T with many emails of late as I seem to need much validation while I heal - need for someone to see that it's real since I can't talk about it with people IRL.  You are so very self aware and show how you are allowing yourself time and space to grow and emerge.

Amazing.