My New Family

[Cascade]

During my first internal family systems (IFS) family meeting yesterday, the infant, the six-year-old, and the teenager showed up.  The therapist introduced herself to them and worked with each one.  Two of them commented that they want me to check in on them more often.  The therapist suggested doing that while I'm journaling.  Here's what happened when I checked on them today.

The infant wants to be with me, or at least in the same room with me, all the time.  She said it's okay to put her down as long as she can see me and the rest of the room.  O.K.  Deal.

The teenager's been upset that the art desk in the home office is currently in no condition for use.  Well, the room in general.  It's the only one with its door closed to the cats.  My (recently passed) Mom's hoarded paperwork files and my campus office stuff (including many books) are all stacked up all over the place and nothing is organized.  I want her stuff GONE.  I want my stuff integrated back together in a peaceful room that reflects me and who I am.

Ready for a surprise?  Brace yourself... the teen offered to help me get things situated in there.  Whoa!  Yes, I need someone with me.  And she's good at that kind of thing.  She's not the adult who has to take care of Mom's stuff, and she's not the one who worked where the adult worked, so maybe she'll be less intimidated and overwhelmed than I am.  O.K.  Deal.

By the way, the six-year-old is running around in the backyard playing.  She doesn't want to be bothered, lol!  She didn't ask to be checked on.  As a matter of fact, the therapist worked with her first, and then that child asked if she had to stay for the whole meeting or if she could go outside and play in the sprinklers and pick wildflowers.  The therapist let her go. 

Well, okay, wow.  The infant set boundaries with me and the teen offered to help with a chore.  Two good deals.  Guess this is progress.  I'll take it! 
   -Cascade

[AphoticAtramentous]

Definitely some good progress, glad to hear it!

Regards,
Aphotic.

[Blueberry]

Good to hear of your progress, Cascade  

My work with Inners has sometimes taken surprising turns. In among the problems, my Inners also hold resources and although they do need things from Adult me, sometimes it's surprisingly little. So not: "I'm there for you for ever and I'll always protect you" but "I see you and I know it was difficult". My Inners have set boundaries before where Adult me couldn't   and/or led Adult me to setting boundaries.

[Cascade]

... my Inners also hold resources and although they do need things from Adult me, sometimes it's surprisingly little. So not: "I'm there for you for ever and I'll always protect you" but "I see you and I know it was difficult".

Ah-HA!  This is very interesting, Blueberry.  It really hit me between the eyes (a good thing) and was huge lightbulb.  That recognition and validation of them, their experiences, and their feelings is so powerful.  Thank you very much for phrasing it in such an accessible way that makes so much sense. 
   -Cascade