DBR questions

[GoSlash27]

All,
 I won't be able to see my T for the next couple weeks, and I have a couple questions that are nagging me.

1) I've been having dreams lately that I wake up certain that they were related to my childhood, but I immediately lose all recollection of them. Is this normal? Should I be concerned that I don't remember them?

2) I've been having very brief "snapshot" memories from my childhood lately out of the blue. Not even long enough to build any context from them. Thankfully, none of them have been distressing.
 Again, is this normal and should I be concerned?

Thanks,
-Slashy

[Little2Nothing]

Slashy,

I have nightmares that stay with me most of the day. I mean the feelings they invoke. I can't recall the context or the particulars of the dream, but I know they are connected to my past. 

As to the flashes of memory I have experienced that as well. I would assume these experiences are a normal part of this journey. 

[NarcKiddo]

I'm sure it is normal for dreams to vanish as soon as you start thinking about them. Mine mostly do that - it is rare for me to remember a dream in any detail and even more rare for me to remember it long enough to journal anything about it. If this is a new thing after therapy (maybe the link to childhood is?) then maybe your brain is processing some things in response to therapy that you don't necessarily need to know about consciously. If they don't leave you with any lingering sense of unease then it's probably good rather than not.

[AphoticAtramentous]

1) I've been having dreams lately that I wake up certain that they were related to my childhood, but I immediately lose all recollection of them. Is this normal? Should I be concerned that I don't remember them?

It is a very common phenomenon, trauma or not. I'm not a doctor but from what I've read: In laymen's terms, when sleeping and waking, the brain needs to power down and power back up, before and after sleep. During those sleepy periods, the brain often doesn't move things from the short term memory to the long term memory - it just takes up too much energy and effort. Your brain is too busy trying to rest, and then slowly get itself ready for the day upon waking. Regardless of what the dream was about, often times we will not remember our dreams. Sometimes we do, but not always.

2) I've been having very brief "snapshot" memories from my childhood lately out of the blue. Not even long enough to build any context from them. Thankfully, none of them have been distressing.
 Again, is this normal and should I be concerned?

I experience the same thing. As long as it's not causing you distress, I think that's the main thing. But of course bring it up with your T if you are worried. There are various grounding techniques one can use to separate themselves from their memories if they do become a concern.

Regards,
Aphotic.

[GoSlash27]

All,
 Thanks for the replies.
 Best,
-Slashy

[Papa Coco]

Slashy,

There are the things that trigger me to dream about the past. For me, the most prevalent is the calendar:

--The calendar. I sometimes forget what day it is each year, until I have a dream or a sudden memory, or a sudden depression or anxiety. I tell my wife how I'm feeling and she says, "well, yeah. Today's the anniversary of [this or that]" or "Today's the first day of school for the kids". I guess they call this "anniversary stress."  My world fell apart in Catholic school in the 5th grade in 1970 when my best friend got angry that I didn't want his ring. (I wasn't gay. So, I didn't understand. He got so angry, that he told my entire school that I was gay, which in a church setting, and in 1970, was almost a death sentence). I now realize he was a narcissist in the making, and he relentlessly kept up that label for the rest of my entire childhood, and proved over and over with his lies that I was gay, and that I deserved to be hated and ostracized and even beaten up every day for the rest of my childhood. By 7th grade I was on medication because I was so suicidal I couldn't bear life anymore. Consequently, Every year since (54 years now), I become "inexplicably" suicidally depressed during Feb/Mar. It took me years to make the connection, that my depressions were tied to the same days that my friend betrayed me and took away my desire to live for the rest of my childhood.

When something in today's life reminds my body of a struggle that happened on the same day decades ago, I start having dreams that are tied directly to it. I also start having emotions that don't really fit with who I am today--but do fit with the same time of year decades ago.

NOW THAT WE ARE WRITING THIS::::: Holy Smokes, Slashy, RIGHT NOW as i'm writing this to you I'm suddenly aware of why I've been so emotional the past few days. Holy moly, man, my spine is shivering right now. I'm writing as I'm remembering

On Sunday, last week, I was at the track with my grandson who was racing his first race in his little race car. I was so close to tears all day that I have been telling everyone that his races were making me emotional. There were three accidents that day, two involved other children/drivers, and one, a very serious accident that sent one of the drivers' mothers to the hospital in an aid car. All three of them brought me to tears. When I saw the first child's car spun out on the track, the child's parents hovering into the cab, and someone yelled "MEDIC!" I started crying. I couldn't stop myself. Same when I heard the sirens coming to respond to the woman who'd been run over. While it's not uncommon for me to tear up when a child or parent is hurt, this was an exceptionally traumatic sadness I was feeling.

JUST NOW I JUST NOW MADE THE CONNECION:  Slashy, my beautiful little sister used to live right above this race track. She took her life on June 30, 2008. Sunday was June 30, 2024. This explains why I was so overly emotional last Sunday. Because I'd forgotten that I was in the neighborhood of where she lived when she died. Her death almost killed me. I cried--I bawled hysterically almost every night for two years after she passed. It was the single most tragic thing that's ever happened to me. Sunday was the anniversary, 16 years later.

Anniversary stress. It comes up on me whether I am prepared for it or not. I wonder if you have any memories of your life being particularly difficult during this same time of year at any point in your life.  Because anniversary stress affects me every single year, and on many, many different days. It also brings with it dreams and sudden flashback memories that I sometimes can't even place.

[dollyvee]

Hey Slashy,

I don't know if you've been back for a while or not, but I'm curious if you have an update with how DBR is going for you?

Sending you support,
dolly