JDog's Journal

[Blueberry]

  if they're good and helpful and feel safe.

[Jdog]

Blueberry-
Oh, yes, these folks were the nicest.  And now I know how to make fail-safe pie crust.  And, had a lovely piece of fruit pie with ice cream.  All good!

[Jdog]

Haha - pie icons would be great!  Yes, a lot of effort to live but also a lot of trust and letting go.  I'm learning.  As a "hand on the throttle" kind of gal, it's important to leave some breathing room.

[Jdog]

Back to school.  The fun of routine (truly) and the opportunity to meet many new teens and begin a relationship with them.  Working with a terrific co-teacher and an enthusiastic student teacher full of things he wants to try.  A great, supportive administration with whom their is mutual trust and respect.  All great things.

And then, there is the group of deceivers known as our school board and superintendent.  Last year, we narrowly avoided a strike over pay and benefits and working conditions.  There was a signed agreement to increase pay as well as to restructure the salary schedule such that it would make our district more competitive and attract and keep better teachers.  In my case, as a person who has over 20 years in service to the district, it would have meant not having to wait until year 26 to reach the top amount.  Well, now they are waffling and refusing to adhere to the memo which the union gave explaining the structure and amounts and to which there was not only no contest by the superintendent but a signature of good faith by our mayor, who brought all parties together at the zero hour.

Yesterday's communication from our union says both parties are going to go straight to binding arbitration.  I feel very devalued by the district, the district to which I have devoted my teaching career and always given so much on behalf of our very diverse, impoverished students.  If I and fellow teachers were to go back on our verbal and written promises in this way, we would no longer have jobs.  It's disgraceful.  If this does not get resolved in our favor, it means having to work more years before I can afford to retire (which I had hoped to do in 2021).  Grr.

[Jdog]

Thank you.  Your support means so much.  I am just so ashamed.

[Deep Blue]

Hey Jdog,
I just wanted to send you some warm wishes.  My district is in a similar situation but we are devalued by our administrators instead of the board.  It's nice to see fellow teachers on this board.  Hang in there, hope things work out.   

[Jdog]

Thanks, Deep Blue.  Yes, we teachers are so often scapegoats for the larger failings within a system over which we have little control.  Left to pick up the pieces, expected to keep the fires burning no matter what. 

Sending warmth right back to you, too.

[Hope67]

Hi JDog,
I can imagine it is difficult to be expected to pick up the pieces and keep the fires burning no matter what - within a teaching system where you have little control.  I was struck by your quote after your name - which says "Commitment is daily" - which shows to me that you take things seriously and you are striving to keep things ticking over.  I wish there were more people out there like you - and Deep Blue too - both of you striving to teach future generations - education would be in safe hands with more people like you two.  That's what I believe - from things I've read that each of you have written.
Hope 

[Jdog]

Hope-

How very nice of you.  As I read your words, I am preparing to get into gear for another day in the classroom.  I had one of those nights where I was very unsettled within myself, and a dream made me aware that I do have to continue learning to rely upon myself rather than others to remain grounded.  I've read your journal, too, and know that you are making great strides in that direction. 

Thanks for the kind words and encouragement. 

[Jdog]

Although I am letting the wound made by the unfairness of not having the promised pay heal up a bit - not scratching at the perverbial scab as much - the latest indignity is a report that my school district is so out of kilter with budget projections that the county office of education has sent the financial officers in my district back to the drawing board with a strict deadline of October 8th to come up with a balanced budget for the next 3 years.  IMHO (and that of many other union members) this is one more in a series of smoke and mirrors, as many times the district has pled poverty only to come out with massive surpluses months later. 

Hiding money so that it won't have to be spent as intended.....what kind of a sick thing is this?  It appears that the county issues the ratings on budgets based only upon self reported numbers.  Now, they are sending in an auditor to sit with our financial people.  Maybe we will yet learn whether this is fake news (sorry) or a real emergency.  And even if it IS real, don't they still have to abide by the contract that was agreed upon last year?

This is deeply triggering.  Memories of adults not telling me the truth about certain things, and me knowing that the cover story was fishy but unable to do anything about it.

Here's what I am doing about it today:  I am going to compete in a 4 mile race, the first one since last December due to a bunch of foot problems.  I don't aim to be exteremely quick, but the positive energy put out by those around me will be contagious.  Nobody competes in a race with the thought that life sucks.  It's a celebration and an active mindfulness opportunity.

[Three Roses]

  

[Jdog]

Thanks, 3 Roses.  It was a fantastic experience.  Perfect weather, just enough of a challenge. I ran well and met some super people.  Some were vacationing from my home state of Ohio, and we took pictures together.  So fun.

[Jdog]

Yes, thanks!  Although today found me ever more angry at the incompetence of my employers, yesterday was a wonderful and carefree gift to myself.  Yay.

[Jdog]

The fun of racing has created a setback, in that my injured foot from last year has been reinjured.  It is a slightly different injury - not plantar fasciitis but possibly tendons.  I had an X-ray which revealed only the arthritis which we already knew about.  I have asked for an MRI, to be scheduled soon.  Meanwhile, I am icing, hobbling around my classroom in a flat bottomed shoe thingy I have from the previous injury, and not exercising.  One of my favorite spiritual writers, Pema Chodren, says "Fail.  Fail Again.  Fail Better."  Haha.  This is a new and better failure, born of success. 

So, here I sit.  The lessons of slowing down are being forced upon me.  The reality of aging is now mine to have and to hold.  But I actually am smiling as I write this.  Life will continue to give good things to me, and I have to be ready to receive them. 

[Hope67]

So, here I sit.  The lessons of slowing down are being forced upon me.  The reality of aging is now mine to have and to hold.  But I actually am smiling as I write this.  Life will continue to give good things to me, and I have to be ready to receive them.

Hi Jdog,

You sound positive, and I hope your foot injury improves soon.    to you.
Hope