JDog's Journal

[Jdog]

Haha 3Roses!  It takes me back to my misspent young adulthood......glad that's over and done now!

I have a lot to post but am way too exhausted to do so now.  It's mostly good stuff, but hard won nonetheless.  Will jump on later or maybe tomorrow to seek support from y'all.

My spouse apparently has been triggered by something today and retrigerred by my accidentally speaking to her from another room, not once but twice.  Sigh.  This comes on the heels of my own highly emotional 24 hours.  So, my boundaries may be wonky right now.

I guess I could use TLC on that account at the moment....

[Three Roses]

Here's some TLC for you! ♥️👩‍❤️‍👩💕💞💖💝💜❤️

[woodsgnome]

  May you find the peace and hang out in a positive vibe soon. 

[Jdog]

Ah, thanks you two.  Working on it!

[Jdog]

Wow, I just finished reading my first journal post which was 4 years ago.  Some things have changed, others have not.  My somatic symptoms are much less now than they were then.  My bouts of depression are fewer and last a little less long.  My partner is still fragile but I am able to withstand her triggers better - I still get triggered by her triggers but no longer feel like the world is ending.  I am having to learn how to sit with difficult emotions and be aware that yes, they will pass.

Speaking of difficult emotions, this week brought on a rather large trigger when one of my students leveled false accusations against me.  He is difficult, non compliant, and mean.  He constantly defies any and all rules, especially having to do with his cell phone.  This week, he tried three times to charge his phone in my room and the third time, I reached to unplug it and he  grabbed it, and me.  He then proceeded to take a picture of me with my co teacher at a moment when we were pretending to take a selfie as a joke.  I was flashing a "peace" sign, but his blurry picture made it seem like I was "flipping the bird" and he told his Mom I was flipping the class off and filming the students.  Whew.  I'm the last person who would ever do either of those things.  She believed him - tried to use it as a deflection from her son's obvious distinctions - and tried to get the administration to attack ME and wants her kid out of the class. 

Fortunately, I had not only my co teacher but another adult in the room at the time and both backed my version of the story (aka the truth).  I work for reasonable people, and the decision has been to ignore the Mom (a non parent if ever there was one) and just keep sending the son home each t8me he violates a policy and gets sent to the office.  The admin has said he causes problems all day in all classes and is probably mentally ill, thanks to the lack of boundaries set by his non parents. 

So, I lost a night of sleep and went through the whole shame EF thing until coming out the other side.  On top of this, my wife had an unstable day the following day so it's been a hard 2-3 days.  I didn't even hate myself for overeating last night when we went out with friends.  I survived the most difficult week I have had in months.

[Hope67]

Hi Jdog,
You have had such a tough week - I am glad you've got through it - and I just wanted to say that I am glad that your colleagues were able to back you, and that you were supported through that difficult scenario. 
to you.
Hope 

[Deep Blue]

Oh sweetie! I just saw this.  I'm so so sorry. That's a huge trigger for me too. 

Today is teacher appreciation day and I appreciate you! Love ya Jdog

[Jdog]

I appreciate you also!  Thanks, Blue.  I'm doing better now,  it took me a few days to allow the shock and anger to dissipate. 

[Deep Blue]

I'm glad it is dissipating.  It's hard sometimes.  There are so many wonderful great students I have on a daily basis... and yet one, with a bad attitude or one that is out to hurt others can make us have so many sleepless nights.  Don't let the 1 bad dismiss all the good you do.   love ya and am sitting with you on this dearie

[Jdog]

Oh, I most certainly haven't and won't allow one miscreant to color my attitude toward all students.  I, too, have so many nice kids whom I look forward to seeing every day.  We have a great back and forth relationship which involves playfulness as well as more studious and structured aspects.

I am off today and tomorrow as my wife is having sinus surgery.  It will be painful in the short term but long term a very good thing, we hope.

[Three Roses]

Best wishes for a speedy recovery!

[Blueberry]

I wish your wife all the best with the surgery and speedy recovery   

[Jdog]

We both thank you so very much!

[Deep Blue]

Best wishes for a quick recovery!

[Jdog]

Thanks sweetie!