JDog's Journal

[Hope67]

Hi Jdog,
I hope your wife's surgery has gone well and that she is having a comfortable recuperation, and I hope you are both ok.   
Hope 

[Jdog]

Thank you so much, Hope.  She is recuperating, although in quite a bit of pain.  Not unusual for this type of surgery.  We are both doing ok. 

[Jdog]

My Mother passed away 7 years ago today, and this anniversary feels different from the others.  I have spent time this past year considering that her choices made my life painful at times.  For sure, she was a caring and loving Mother whose skills have allowed me to be a caring and loving person myself.  But the other aspects, concerned with her own unresolved trauma which drove her to "fix" a terrible man late in life made my life and the lives of her other family members so very difficult.  He was so awful that we had to take her out of the home the two of them shared so that she would not die of malnutrition and neglect after her strokes.

I don't want to make a laundry list of the horrors we all went through over the eight years her poor body continued functioning, but suffice to say that it was very bad and would have destroyed a lesser person than my wife, who was a trooper with her interventions and support.  Instead, we are strong today and working on ourselves and our relationship. 

In the end, I am grateful for the gifts my mother passed on to me. It is a cruel irony that she died the day before Mother's Day.  I have never wrapped my mind around that one, never understood the symbolism fully.  She was not a person who wanted to cause others pain or worry, yet those very traits made her the poster child for pain and worry.  Maybe that is the lesson.

[Blueberry]

my little efforts and the love I extend do matter, that research shows that it only takes one person to make a life saving difference to someone.

Yes, your efforts matter. My 4th grade teacher made a big impact on me, I remember her still. Hang in there!

Hi Jdog,

I was actually looking for something else I wanted to respond to in your posts and came across this! I totally agree with you and 3R here. I recently had contact with a teacher of mine from decades ago and mentioned how much I appreciate her and 2 other teachers asking my M if there was something wrong (with me)? Were they giving too much homework? I looked totally exhausted, "washed out" in fact. M mentioned this to me at the time, sort of querying. This was a big deal - in a pretty small school, 3 teachers who my M respected pointed out that something seemed to be wrong. Nothing changed really at home of course but at least M had bothered to ask. I perked up a bit after that, and I've never forgotten it.

[Jdog]

Thank you for sharing that, Blueberry, it means the world to me.  I am not at all sure that I have ever fulfilled that particular role for a student but I do try and encourage them the best I can.  Maybe my central gif to them is just being "real", at the same time as having good boundaries.  That teaches them how  safe in their other relationships (one hopes) and helps them know that they can be themselves (which ever self that may be at the moment, lol). 

So anyways, thanks a bunch.  I'm sorry nothing really changed for you at home once the three teachers expressed concern for your wellbeing.  But at least you perked up some.  That's kind of a big deal, I think!

[Three Roses]

I am not at all sure that I have ever fulfilled that particular role for a student but I do try and encourage them the best I can.

I'm quite certain my 4th grade teacher never realized what an impact she had on me, since I only recognized her influence much after the fact. Just fyi. 

[Jdog]

That's sweet, 3Roses. 

[Deep Blue]

Jdog,
I am quite certain you have filled that role before. You probably just don't recognize it.  To you, it's just a Thursday...  love ya darling

[woodsgnome]

Deep Blue to Jdog: "I am quite certain you have filled that role before. You probably just don't recognize it."

             

I know that's happened a lot in my life as a 'teacher without a classroom' -- as an actor I presented unique historical skits in schools and other educational venues for many years. So many times I heard after the fact of how what was said or taught touched someone where and when they needed it. I often had no idea how often this happened; it's still hard to let it sink in, but when I dare to, I find it encouraging even if I didn't realize it at the time. Self-compassion and self-realization is so hard sometimes when one has learned so much of the negatives per self-image.

             

[Jdog]

Deep Blue and Woodsgnome-

You are both such sensitive, affirming people.  My life is richer for having you part of it!  Thanks for the kindness you have shown me....

[Jdog]

Thank you, dear BeHea1thy.  Your kind words always soothe me and make me want to be my best self.  I hope you are continuing to prosper as well.

[Jdog]

I enjoy this virtual classroom very much.  Your appreciation is a beautiful aspect of your own kind self, BH.  I have had an especially roller coasteresque week, and your validation is so wonderful to me right now. 

I had an experience today wherein I needed to get my principal to acknowledge that she needs to be more cautious about allowing certain kinds of parents to observe in classrooms and I put her on the defensive and she bit back for awhile until landing back in a more positive spot.  It made me realize that, much as I like her, she has little experience with either being discriminated against or being falsely accused of something.  I am ok, but sometimes standing up for myself is just as frustrating and difficult today as it was when I was a kid.

Anyway, thanks so very much,  all the validations you and others have sent means the world to me.

[Blueberry]

I am not at all sure that I have ever fulfilled that particular role for a student but I do try and encourage them the best I can.  Maybe my central gif to them is just being "real", at the same time as having good boundaries.  That teaches them how  safe in their other relationships (one hopes) and helps them know that they can be themselves (which ever self that may be at the moment, lol). 

I'm pretty sure it doesn't have to be that particular role to be meaningful! In fact encouraging the students themselves might make more of an impact in some ways. Also like 3R said about same quote, I'm sure my teachers had no idea the effect their talks with M had on me, especially the long-lasting effect.

[Deep Blue]

Hey Jdog,
I have 4 days of exams and then a teacher workday on Friday and then I'm finished.  Yay!

I still have no clue what I'm teaching next year yet though. It drives me crazy to not know till the last day of school.  Grrrr

I'm also still waiting to see if I will have to do some coursework of my own this summer.  Much love! Jdog 

[Jdog]

Blue-

Glad you are so near the end!  Congrats!  Things will become clear very soon, my friend.  And if you end up needing extra coursework, I know you will go about it with grace. 

18 days more for me.  A bright spot is that the second one day strike planned for this coming week has been called off.  The district is finally "discovering" that they must obey the law and uphold our contract....with a lot of pressure from outside forces, a forensic audit by the state, and clobbering over the head by the State Superintendent.  Honestly, you could not make this stuff up.  I am thinking of writing a Lifetime Movie script about the lies and intrigue.  Maybe I can fund part of my retirement this way.....

Love ya.