New member.

[Secondchance]

Hi!

I have cPTSD, which was only made clear a few months ago, in my 74th year of life, with a mix of Narcissistic family scapegoating, mercury poisoning, and late stage Lyme Disease. Just beginning a new life!

The physical sickness has been a big issue starting in infancy and maybe why I was the scapegoat being the eldest of three children.

I am learning on warp speed since reaching the bottom post Christmas when I saw how abusive my brothers family are towards me, when I lost he will to live, there being so much to cope with in my life. I found youtube videos!

Having problems with NHS counselling (UK) and waited since asking for help in February and waiting till July, but I have had a session with a charity for women and I paid f or a few sessions with a private therapist. I am also having some provided by Action for ME so have a few pickings. Will it be okay to have 2 at once?

Well I have a lot I have been through in life which I will onto later but just wanted to make my first post and say hello lovely people.

[Chart]

Hello and welcome Secondchance.

[Papa Coco]

Secondchance,

Welcome to the forum. I really like your name, SecondChance. It's a positive way of looking at where we are with our CPTSD, which is definitely survivable and filled with second chance opportunities for those who are ready to move forward in life.

I'm sorry to hear about Christmas last year and how your brother's family abused you. I totally understand how that messed with your will to live. I'm VERY glad that you did live through it. Family abuse can do that to us. So hurtful.

Well, you're with kind, compassionate people now on this forum. I look forward to reading more from you in the near future.

Welcome!!!

[Secondchance]

Many thanks Chart and Papa. Pleased you like my monika. My life has been ruined early on but even so late in life, l am sure l can recover.

I knew that my family have always been cruel to me but with greyrocking my brother for a year, l think he turned up the heat. I was shocked into reality by the way they were, making it plain l was not welcome, and me being the matriarch.

[Secondchance]

I really wanted to talk some more but my pc has crashed and I'm not sure which is my latest rescue disk so l might have to use my old tablet which may mean l miss some typos.

So here goes.

My tsunami arrived as l said in February but l am hoping to keep it in mind that it was a good thing. Things began to flood in, although l had been healing for 20 years after having to flee from my alcoholic covert narcissistic husband to a woman's refuge.

I began to psycho educate then and suspected my mother was also a narc. But things have been busy as l move house a lot due l now know to feeling unsafe after about two years.

I have also been in a state about the adult children of the marriage becoming alienated.

I got into family scapegoat abuse and saw that it was true for me. Posting to avoid losing it..

[Secondchance]

At the same time l realised why my health, always a problem, had crashed a year earlier after the latest move. It was Lyme coming out of remission.

So the jigsaw of my life is coming together. More later.

[Hope67]

Hi Secondchance,
I also wanted to welcome you 
Hope 

[Secondchance]

Thanks hope. My pc is in for repair so l am a  it stuck atm

[Secondchance]

My family denied my illness forever. I was put in hospital at 10 months severely ill with mercury filled teething powders. Apart from the physical damage, the babies who survived were traumatised by being left to cry all day, as they did.
 
I think something happened as l have always feared medics.

M never liked me, l only remember hostility. F was always out. I was labelled a hypochondriac early on, lazy and trouble. I was left babysitting my siblings most evenings  when mother was  at work and father was out from age 14.

I always hated her but it is just now coming out now how abusive she was.

[Chart]

Following your posts and sending love and support Secondchance.
 

[Secondchance]

Thank you Chart 

[Hope67]

Hi Secondchance,
I hope that your pc is repaired soon, so you can enjoy using it again. 

I read what you wrote about your past experiences, and I wanted to send you a hug of support, if that's ok   
Hope 

[Secondchance]

Thank you Hope. My pc should be back tomorrow. It is my link to the outside world and l am taking its loss badly. Sigh, addicted lol