CPTSD vs. OSDD "Parts"

[AphoticAtramentous]

Thanks for starting this thread. Am always interested in learning more about this stuff, and hearing of other's experiences.

Personal Theory Stuff:
My own perception on the dissociation spectrum concept: I think "splitting" of one's identity is way more common than we realise. Now, I'm no scientist or medical professional, I'm just some guy on the internet, so take this with a grain of salt - but to me it seems that dissociation primarily takes place when the situation is inescapable. When you use fight, fawn, flight, or freeze, but still get hurt - that's when dissociation hits the hardest. And when that happens over and over, for example - CPTSD, where the core of the trauma comes from the inability to escape, then I think it's very natural for the mind to split. Because when all defense mechanisms fail, it's easier for the brain to pretend you're not there at all.

So I believe that everyone with PTSD/CPTSD has some kind of fragmentation, which you can see very clearly in the case of flashbacks - where you are "taken back to the past moment". That alone is a type of dissociative experience. And sometimes it gets to a point where you dissociate/switch just to get through the day, let alone a trigger - that being DID. Also, it doesn't matter how "bad" your trauma was, it doesn't matter what was done to you - if you couldn't escape, you're probably going to dissociate. That's just how the brain likes to do things. And then the more you dissociate, the more fragmented things tend to become.

Again, not a professional, don't quote me. But this theory works for my own experiences. I didn't have the worst childhood in the world, but I did dissociate quite a bit. And it doesn't surprise me that I don't remember a lot of things, and why I guess I was recently diagnosed with DID.

If anyone has any feedback on this theory I would be interested to hear it, but no pressure.

It is at least pretty universally agreed that this dissociation stuff works on a spectrum. Commonly it ranges from...
Highway Hypnosis/Day-dreaming -> Concentration -> PTSD -> CPTSD -> OSDD -> DID -> C-DID (complex DID). You could be a "low" OSDD, a "high" DID, or anywhere on the scale. But I find for many, the line between CPTSD and OSDD is VERY blurry.

Personal Stuff:
One thing I find interesting, and perhaps what makes me DID and not OSDD, is reading the experiences of others who still classify their parts as an alternate version of themselves. Whereas for me, my alters don't feel like me at all. Sometimes I look in the mirror and it feels wrong, or I get called by a name that just isn't correct. It comes with a lot of different experiences but it would take forever to list.

I also wanted to boost Blueberry's argument on the importance of these diagnosis labels, especially within therapy settings. I was in therapy for 3 years and me and my therapist mutually ended our sessions together because I felt like I could handle things myself. But now I realise, she only helped resolve the trauma of ONE alter. Things felt OK for some time but the other alters appeared as they do. It took me a year to realise that I actually wasn't OK - probably because the amnesia stops me from remembering how poorly my other alters are. I think this is at least one example of why these diagnoses can be so important to know about, because it does very much change the way your therapy should go.

Sorry for the long read!

Regards,
Aphotic.

[fozzie55]

Hi Blueberry and AphoticAtramentous
I am familiar with Pete Walker's books and have read them several times.
As he says in "From surviving to thriving" CPTSD and it's recovery is , above all, complex.
I am well aware of the symptoms and getting lost in what it all means. I have a background in nursing, so I am aware of the psychological necessity of diagnoses.
I am also aware of feeling that you are on the wrong path due to misdiagnosis.
As I said I am not trying to belittle suffering or to say I am right about what I say. I am simply offering the opinion that whilst some see the necessity of multiple diagnoses, others feel the need to simply deal with what is in front of them  regardless of what it is called. Surely I am not the only one to think this?
I also agree with both of you that there are definitely days when a positive attitude simply does not work but should that really stop us from trying?
I read a book called "Constructive Wallowing" which I found very helpful. It suggests we simply accept the emotions we are feeling and acknowledge them. The aim is to not let feelings fester but to experience them and move on.
Life is difficult enough as it is, more so for those of us with CPTSD and it's associated issues. All I am saying is why make it more difficult than it needs to be.
By the way I truly accept and respect your views and opinions. We are all in this together.
Best wishes.

[Kizzie]

Just my thoughts, but personally I'm of the opinion that "If you can name it you can [begin to] tame it." Just as importantly, if therapists are able to correctly identify what we are suffering from then they will be better informed when treating us.

[Blueberry]

Hi fozzie,

Life is difficult enough as it is, more so for those of us with CPTSD and it's associated issues. All I am saying is why make it more difficult than it needs to be.
By the way I truly accept and respect your views and opinions. We are all in this together.

BBM

I don't believe that I, or others, who wonder about their position on the OSDD, P-DID, DID spectrum are making life or their healing journey more difficult for themselves. So, we're just going to have to agree to disagree on that.

As I said I am not trying ... to say I am right about what I say. I am simply offering the opinion that whilst some see the necessity of multiple diagnoses, others feel the need to simply deal with what is in front of them  regardless of what it is called. Surely I am not the only one to think this?

I don't know if you're the only person to think as you do, quite possibly not. You say "we're all in this together" and in a way that's true of course, but if you don't care whether or not you're on the OSDD to DID spectrum, then we're not ALL in EVERYTHING together. And that's totally OK!! Not everybody on the forum has to follow the same healing path or agree on everything!

I don't think that this particular thread is the place to discuss the necessity of multiple diagnoses! Even if reading this thread is what made you think of it. This is the first discussion thread on this forum on the spectrum of OSDD to DID, that I remember anyway, and personally as somebody who identifies as being on the spectrum, I'd really appreciate if we could remain on topic! Most people on the thread are detailing their own experiences of Parts and where they think they are on the spectrum.

If you really want to discuss the necessity of multiple diagnoses, maybe start your own thread? Maybe you'll find many people on the forum agree with you. That would be fine too.

[dollyvee]

I recently (briefly) joined a "trauma" group and one of the guidelines was to refrain from using "we" language and instead make "I" statements. I sort of thought about it and it makes sense to not lump everyone's experiences together because even though we have all experienced trauma, who am I to say that what I am feeling is the same as someone else? I also think that using we IMO, is a way to redirect that pain outward and not inward on our own experiences, which need examining (ie the attachment we are so often looking for). IMO it helps to be able to name and identify what is going on in my own internal world and how parts show, or do not show up.

Not sure if this is the space to put that, but these are just my thoughts. I also am weary of always looking at the "positive" side of things all the time. Yes, on one hand it helps to focus on coping mechanisms instead of the negatives, and tbh it's probably how I survived to a great deal. However, speaking for myself, I wasn't allowed to have "negative" feelings growing up in an NPD household because my caretakers couldn't handle them as it would require them to recognize me as seperate, something that is important for the adult me to do. So, spending time with "negative" feelings when they come up is important. I think you're suggesting this in when you talk about wallowing, but IMO it's also about hearing them as we would an exile in IFS, where we do that without an agenda of "getting over it."

[Armee]

That makes a lot of sense to me DollyVee.