starting over

[Desert Flower]

Yes, sleep definitely cannot be forced ...
 

[sanmagic7]

you're right about that, DF.  thanks for the support.

so, last nite, i consciously was able to realize for myself this tendency i've been having to tighten up when i lay down to sleep.  i feel relaxed, playing my before-bed computer games, then look forward to reading a book by an author i enjoy, but almost as soon as i lay down, my chest tightens, my heart pounds, i feel very uncomfortable, anxious as to what in the world is going on with me!  then the run to the john to pee began as well.  so, i decided to get up, play more games, write on my book, pee when i needed, and it eventually stopped, i began falling asleep in front of the computer, which i hadn't done for a long time, and toddled myself into bed around 2.  slept until nearly 8.  and it was restful. 

now, i did take a med, but it didn't seem to help so i'm going to try w/o any tonite.  we'll see.  this has certainly become a battle royale for me, but i do feel like i accepted it more last nite, and that did result in 6 hrs. of good sleep.  we'll see.  throw it at the wall, see if it sticks.