starting over

[sanmagic7]

thank you, hope.  you warmed my heart.

am overwhelmed once again.  my D was sick all day yesterday, which does not help me feel better.  so very worried about her.  she's going thru too much and it's taking its toll.  3 mistakes in those sentences, i can't coordinate my fingers, my brain isn't working well.  will stop now.

[Hope67]

   to you SanMagic, and to your daughter too.  I am sorry to hear she was sick all day yesterday, I really hope she feels a bit better today - and I know you're very worried about her.  SanMagic, I hope you can get some rest and do something that will help you feel more relaxed and wishing you the best.   

[Phoebes]

Thinking of you and your daughter, San. You have so much going on, I hope you can find some peace and relaxation with your daughter and that she feels a lot better soon. Wishing her lots of healing. 

[sanmagic7]

hope, i so appreciate your kind and caring words and thoughts.  i know they come from your heart.  thank you.

phoebes, thank you so much for your care and concern.  she's feeling a bit better today, but i have a feeling it's going to be a slow recovery for her.  you're right, it's all a lot. 

took meds so i could get some sleep last nite, woke up this morning and started crying over what's already going on w/ our new administration.  it feels like there's a dark hole over our country, and it's distressing to me. i think i have to stop looking at the news.  it's too much to put on top of everything else that's going on with me and my D.  ugh!

[Blueberry]

  

[sanmagic7]

thank you for those big hugs, blueberry.  much needed right now.

on the verge of tears as we speak.  yesterday was the anniversary of going NC w/ D1.  i don't even remember exactly how long it's been, something like 10 years.  the hole in my heart never goes away, never heals.  this, on top of everything else - no wonder i'm feeling sick.

[Chart]

Losing a child is terrible. No matter the circumstances. I just thought of my eldest daughter in the garage, while I was working... She used to say, "Funny faces" when she was little, which had a special meaning for her which I now forget exactly what it was... I'd forgotten all that. My youngest daughter showed me a picture of my eldest from this past Christmas. She's dyed her hair blonde... and is the spitting image of me at that same age. Beyond that I sensed a more profound calmness in her image which I hadn't seen in awhile. Perhaps my imagination... No matter what they did and continue to do, we cannot help but still love them. I feel your sadness deeply, San.
 

[sanmagic7]

thanks for the support, chart

been sick, stomach flu, stress flu, still not fully back, but too many things to do, getting ready for the surgery next week.

[Hope67]

 

[sanmagic7]

thank you for the hugs, hope.  love 'em! 

heading to the healing porch till the surgery is over.  don't have the energy or mind to post right now.

[Larry]

hoping the surgery goes well....

[Desert Flower]

big hugs San!     

[sanmagic7]

thanks, larry.  it did.

thank you for those hugs, DF.   

surgery went well, everything before it was * for my D so i'm glad she's thru it.  now to recover, mend.

[Phoebes]

I'm so glad to hear her surgery went well, San. I'm glad that big hurdle is past and healing can begin. Sending you all the things you love that bring comfort.

[sanmagic7]

thank you, phoebes, so much.  i think one of the biggest things that could happen is nothing out of the ordinary.  i'm so tired from dealing w/ crisis after crisis, stress upon stress.  to just have a boring life for a while would be extraordinarily positive!