"No son of mine"-Genesis

[GoSlash27]

All,
 This song came up on my playlist today and it hit me pretty hard.
 The first verse is pretty spot- on, but the rest misses the mark.
 
"The key to my survival was never much in doubt.
The question was how I could keep sane while trying to find a way out.
Things were never easy for me. Peace of mind was hard to find.
I needed a place where I could hide, somewhere that I could call mine.
I didn't think much about it until it started happening all the time.
Soon I was living with the fear everyday, of what would happen that night.
I couldn't stand to hear the crying of my mother and I remember when...
I swore that that that was the last they'd ever see of me and I'd never go home again".

 And so the song progresses and the prodigal son returns only to find that he has been disowned by his abusive father for his abandonment. "You're no son of mine".

 This is where the song gets it wrong. It's not just the abuser that casts you out, it's *everyone*.
 None of them can relate to that decision.

 Cutting all ties and fleeing is a drastic option; one that I and my surviving siblings all took. Everyone was affected, the guilty and innocent alike. They have no way to relate to that decision and they will all condemn you for it.

 There is no closure. There is no rapprochement.The only "family" you will ever have from that point on is the one you have made for yourself.
 My baby sister is only just now learning this fact.

[NarcKiddo]

Hello, Slashy. Good to see you. Hope you're doing OK.

I agree that nobody can usually relate to a decision to cut ties. Often the abuser makes sure as far as possible that others take their side. Or puts on a "poor little me" act that others buy into.

Those who have experience can relate - but they usually form the family you make for yourself. I overheard a woman at our gym bemoaning to all and sundry in the changing rooms that none of her children would speak to her. Lots of hand-wringing and "I meant no harm" blah blah.  Most people were sympathising with her. I thought that even one child does not cut ties lightly. If they have all done it that speaks volumes to me and I would not be interested in getting to know that woman.

[AphoticAtramentous]

Thanks for sharing this, GoSlash. A powerful verse indeed, and one I sympathise with dearly.
And I relate to the unfortunate circumstance of being cast out by everyone after cutting ties. I've even lost friends who I personally had no quarrels with, but at the end of they day, they sided with my abuser, not me.
For some reason it always feels like it's the person who's been "cut out" that receives the sympathy. But I agree with what NarcKiddo said, there's usually a good reason for cutting ties, and I personally have a hard time trusting someone who says they have had their ties cut.

Regards,
Aphotic.