A Bit About Me

[ARoseByAnyOtherName]

Hi Everyone,

(Trigger warning: mention of alcohol abuse)

I'm "Rose", I'm in my late 20s and about 6 months ago my current therapist suggested that I have CPTSD and that I read Pete Walker's book. I wasn't expecting to relate to quite so much of it... My story starts with the binge drinking that my mother does, which I think has been bad since I was 4 or 5 years old, and unfortunately got a whole lot worse after my health problems which began a few years later. I've been going to the doctors repeatedly for the last decade seeking help with chronic pain, but only ever received the half-diagnosis of fibromyalgia. I have long been aware that mental health contributed to how well I managed my physical health, so I began working on that, which eventually lead me here. (Naturally I now believe the pain is due to armoring)

Looking forward, I feel positive, impatient, concerned: I have already done a lot of work on my CPTSD but I am also aware that it effects my life in thousands of tiny ways and I'm just keen to be the best person that I can be. I've been lurking on this forum for about 2 months now, but I finally decided to introduce myself as I'm hoping to start a journal page here. Knowing that I'm not the only one who reacted to their trauma in this way helps me to not feel like I'm just crazy or silly, so thankyou for being here.

Sending love to you all,
Rose.

[Kizzie]

Hi and welcome to OOTS Rose. I'm so glad you decided to post and that you want to start a journal.  It's the most popular part of the site because we can tell our history and share our thoughts and feelings with others who as you say know what you're talking about.

[AphoticAtramentous]

Welcome Rose. I absolutely know what you mean by resonating with other's experiences and feeling not so "crazy or silly" as you describe it. Glad to hear about your mental healing work, and I hope your therapist and these resources will be able to assist you through all this CPTSD guff.

Regards,
Aphotic.

[SenseOrgan]

Welcome here Rose  With a therapist recommending you to read Pete Walker's book, I think you're in good hands with them! cPTSD can be a stealthy beast, manifesting in thousands of tiny ways, just like you said. I hope it's a bit of a relief for you to see the bigger picture more clearly. Interacting here the short time that I've been around, has been very helpful to counteract similar doubts you seem to have.
I also deal with "unexplained" symptoms like fatigue, a messed up immune system and a sleep disorder. All separate diseases or syndromes in the medical system. Not in my mind.

Much love.

[Hope67]

Welcome Rose 

[NarcKiddo]

Hello, Rose, and welcome!

I quite like it when people let us know they have been lurking for a while because it shows they have become comfortable enough with the forum to post here and that is a really promising start. I'm sorry you have CPTSD, of course, but glad you discovered at a relatively early age. Lots of us here had no clue what might be wrong until way older than that. And the earlier you can start working on healing, the better.

[ARoseByAnyOtherName]

Thankyou all for your welcoming replies, I'm grateful for your kindness