New to the community, not the journey

[SolveEtCoagula]

Hello!

I managed to escape the traumas induced by my parents (and other adults) at a fairly young age and swore to myself I´d never live like them or let myself by hurt by anyone again. I think we all do that to various degrees, and at least for me, it turned into running blindly in directions I thought were away from harm that brought me into new types of it or somehow brought me right back to where I´d started. I spent most of my adults years so far repeating patterns that I thought I´d broken away from, although it is hard to imagine how I could have broken away from anything when I avoided processing any of my traumas in favour of working constantly or engaging in other avoidant activities.


I have been chipping away at things over the years, sure, and I still find it nearly impossible to have any kind of proper relationship with another human being, and I have such a mean and judgmental temper still. I am beyond over it, and I am feeling readier than ever to sit down and really figure out what needs to be learned so that I can move forward as a healthy individual who offers respect, care, and healing to others.

I am very excited to participate in this forum as it´s my first time entering into a community where we´re all focused on the same things and going through some of the same growth processes. I´m looking forward to learning and sharing! 

[Kia1212]

Hi SolveEtCoagula - welcome! Lots of knowledge on this website. Hope you find some sort of solace. It helps to be validated by others, especially from gaslighting abuse. That was my * on earth for over 30 years. Took me until I was quite old to realize that wasn't love in any shape or form. It was hate. Therapy helps a lot too! Good luck.

[Kizzie]

Hi and a warm welcome to OOTS SolveEtCoagula!    Glad to hear you feel ready to 'lower your shields' so to speak and learn about safe relationships.  We're anonymous here so that helps to take a step out of isolation, and members are all trying to deal with various CPTSD issues so we're a supportive bunch.

I hope you find being here helpful and settle in comfortably.