Anyone else scared of psychiatric medication?

[Boatsetsailrose]

Yes I relate - good to hear of others coming off meds
I have started to reduce - gee I just want to not feel this weirdness -
But yes agree there is a right time for them when desperate
All best wishes 🌝⭐️☀️💓

[Danaus plexippus]

Be afraid, be very afraid! http://www.aarp.org/health/brain-health/info-05-2013/drugs-that-may-cause-memory-loss.html 

[movementforthebetter]

To be honest I have had to fight to get psyciatric medication, and fight again to get changes made as I need. Now I am on the right type at least and it is the only reason I am on this healing journey. It literally allowed me to see clearly what I needed to do after suffering in quiet desperation for years. And then it was the only thing that gave me enough of a lift out of my depression to begin the work. It has also been the only thing that narrowed my focus down to my next steps to take and kept me from being overwhelmed by the enormity of the changes I am making. There is so much stigma against psych meds but they have absolutely changed my life for the better. I don't know if I will always need them (I might) but I am grateful fhey were available. I wish more drs took a more personal interest in helping patients find the right med and the right dose. I went on and off and through 5 different meds over 15 years before finally hitting the right one.

Good luck to all in your journeys.

[samantha19]

Yep. I was on Mirtazapine for a while. It made me really hungry all the time which was the one good thing for me - if a little annoying - as I struggle a lot with eating enough due to being depressed. I don't believe it worked long term. I told the doctor it wasn't working and the side effects - chronic exhaustion, sleep paralysis and frequent inability to wake up on time - were too bad. She suggested raising my dosage.
The withdrawal was *. My anxiety was higher than before, or at least it felt that way. Maybe I just couldn't cope with all the new things I had accomplished since before the meds, without them numbing me. Either way, it proved to me that they were no solution, just a temporary "fix" that didn't even seem to fix me very much if at all. I do think they made me happier at first, to be honest. Or maybe it was coincidence. They didn't work at the end though. I was still severely depressed, even with a dosage increase.
The withdrawal gave me nausea too, really bad nausea.
I vowed never to go back on them again.
I consider it now, sometimes, because so many people are for them. But it doesn't sit right with me. I don't trust them. I don't believe this is the solution. I can't believe this is just a chemical imbalance! It's thoughts - negative thoughts I've grown up thinking. It's core beliefs - that I am unworthy and crappy as a person. It's flashbacks to feeling unloved, embarrassed and so alone.
Medication might temporarily give me a mood boost, like drugs or alcohol would too. But it doesn't do anything to address the issue, it just masks it with rose tinted glasses for a bit. Plus it's highly addictive, like jeez. That withdrawal was such a horrible experience.
That's my feelings on them, anyway. I totally reject them, but I do wonder sometimes due to the wide public support for them.

[Danaus plexippus]

I think I mostly just got placebo effect relief from antidepressants. When the placebo effect wore off the doc would increase the dose 'till the side effects became unbearable. Then as now I'm the one stuck going through withdrawal. I hope I don't get fooled again. I'm journaling my current experience in the "SSRI Withdrawal" thread. I may go into details on previous prescriptions just to underline the lessons learned.[

[Satori60]

http://www.breggin.com/

I have been following Dr. Breggin for the last couple of years. He is a world renowned Forensic Psychiatrist who has tackled Big Pharma and has succeeded in showing that most psychiatric medications are not safe for consumption.  I have little experience with any of the contentious meds other then SSRI's, Cipralex, of which I was on for just under a year as I watched myself disappear. It took me 4 months to get off of the SSRI on my own, and I have since found alternative (traditional) medicines to take their place when I feel called to them.

[Rainydaze]

I was adamant this time last year that I did not want to go back on Citalopram. Then I had a bit of a nervous breakdown, couldn't sleep or function and after a tearful admission of hopelessness to my GP I relented. Within about 3 weeks I was feeling better and wasn't waking up at 3am every morning with a racing heart. Every time I stop taking them my mood plummets and I struggle with life. I know that there are lots of negative reports out there about how these drugs affect your brain chemistry but mine is extremely messed up anyway, so brain medication doesn't scare me. Not being on them and feeling the way I did last year terrifies me though! It would be great not to be dependent on medication to retain my sanity but at least it works for me with few negative symptoms. I've known people to have terrible side-effects with SSRIs so they're not the right choice for everyone.

[BrokenDollMagnet]

Psychiatric medication pulled me out of a severe depression that had me bedridden for a year and a half. It took 27 or so different med trials to find a fit, but it was beyond worth it. Of course, because I was at a mental state where I should have been hospitalized, I had little choice.

I like my meds. I have few side-effects, and I feel much better. I am looking to up my meds again, soon. It's not a complete fix, and I hope an adjustment can help.

I must admit to being very frustrated by my depressed friends who refused to be medicated because they were afraid the meds would 'change their personalities.'

That may happen to other people, I don't know, but it sure never happened to me. As I explained to them, the meds affect mood, not personality, so it's still you, but in a much better mood. Even the worst medication matches I tried didn't affect my personality, they were inert with regard to mood.

The thing is, it takes a lot of work to find a good treatment regimen. It takes a while * of a lot of work, and for many people, that's a very effective deterrent. They hide behind fear of the meds when they are really afraid of the often long process of trying meds, experiencing side-effects, changing to a different medication and repeating the process many times before finally getting good treatment. It is a grueling process and can be very stressful.

Also, people fear the gamble of a medical field that has yet to figure out how to test what chemicals our brains need. It's a crap shoot, and that makes the whole process seem even sketchier. Sadly, a good way for psychiatrists to make better educated guesses is to watch for a pattern of side-effects for different people.  "Hey, many of patients who experience mania from Zoloft turn out to be bipolar. So the next patient who has that issue I will recommend bipolar medication..."

The trial and error is necessary, and they may very well be paid off to try you on meds from companies that may be paying them off, but that doesn't mean the medication isn't worth a shot. I went full circle through dozens of meds, starting with popular meds, going through more obscure varieties, and finally finding out that another popular medication set fit me best. They are good places to start.

I won't sugar coat it; trying to find a good med match may take a long time and a lot of bad experiences. It's a poorly understood field of study, and they really are just making educated guesses about what might work...

But it is very worth it to feel happy, calm, and motivated. It is worth the effort to get treatment. 

[mourningdove]

I must admit to being very frustrated by my depressed friends who refused to be medicated because they were afraid the meds would 'change their personalities.'

That may happen to other people, I don't know, but it sure never happened to me.

It happened to me.

The thing is, it takes a lot of work to find a good treatment regimen. It takes a while * of a lot of work, and for many people, that's a very effective deterrent. They hide behind fear of the meds when they are really afraid of the often long process of trying meds, experiencing side-effects, changing to a different medication and repeating the process many times before finally getting good treatment.

Their fears are justified. Why are you so invested in criticizing other people's choices?

Sadly, a good way for psychiatrists to make better educated guesses is to watch for a pattern of side-effects for different people.  "Hey, many of patients who experience mania from Zoloft turn out to be bipolar. So the next patient who has that issue I will recommend bipolar medication..."

That's one explanation for those patients' manic episodes. Another explanation is that "anti-depressants" cause manic episodes in some people who are not in fact "bipolar."

It's a crap shoot, and that makes the whole process seem even sketchier.

Yes, it is sketchy as heck and it's a 100% crap shoot. If it works for you, then that's great, but please don't criticize other suffering people who aren't buying into it or who have  valid fears.

[Kizzie]

Hi BrokenDollMagnet      I went through quite the range of meds before landing on one that worked for me too.  I have paradoxical reactions to a lot of meds so for example an anti-anxiety med like Ativan would make me really anxious.     In the end though I went from being severely depressed and having major EFs to being able to function once I found the right med.  It allowed me to get going in recovery and begin to face a lot of trauma slowly and in small chunks that I could tolerate. 

I agree that medication is definitely a great help for some people, it certainly is for me, but it may not be for others for a variety of reasons and that's OK.  We are all different and that's what makes the community helpful, sharing our own experiences and thoughts and letting others decide for themselves what is best for them.

Very glad for you that you did find the right med(s) 

[MyselfOnline]

If the diagnosis feels right, and the evidence for the drug is good, I have greater confidence. I used to feel similarly to you, I'd happily take a one-off pill (like a sleeping tablet) but long-term course of treatment felt false, too much of an imposition on my consciousness.

I've tried psychiatric drugs --- the effect was not dramatic. They turned out not to be of any use. One felt noticeably pleasant to take at first, one was hard to stick at for the first week or two.

If you feel the doctor has a robust thought-process for recommending one (not just a general, 'here, why not try this?') then you might not need to worry about some part of you being overridden -- if the pill doesn't end up making you feel more like yourself and how you feel you should feel, you could ease of it again -- at least, my doctors have always been helpful and understanding in that respect.

[Candid]

There is a part of me that wants medication.  It's the part of me that wants someone else to fix things for me.  The part of me that wants someone to really see that I have a serious problem.

Yes, I want that kind of acknowledgment, too... but not through meds. The hope of being heard and believed is what drives me back to therapist after therapist. Those who actually 'get' it are gold. There's some crisis relief in being believed and eliciting some sympathy, but nothing seems to change for me no matter what I do. Also, I do a runner if they insist I be medicated.

Not taking medication is not a sign that I don't have a problem; it's just that I don't think they are going to work. 

Haha, you cynic you! I absolutely concur. In fact I find the notion that a daily pill is going to make my history and current circumstances in any way acceptable boggles my mind. IMO, any substance that made this look okay would be dangerous. But psych meds are, aren't they? This time last year I was being medicated against my will so I'm now even more cautious in what I say to therapists.

I don't feel as bad about shorter acting things like stimulants and coffee, because I can use them to get through a day and if it's a bad idea I can move on from it, and also because I can recognize that I"m not trying to fix my life with drugs. 

I'm the same.

Giving up  on life is  a bad habit and I keep indulging in it because it feels good for a few minutes.

It definitely has its place. I just read something in the 'bad day' section and wanted to say "give up" but thought it would be misconstrued. I can only sit with my distress for so long and then I let go, stop acting happy (my friends are few and my social activity almost zero, so that's easy) and just wallow. I'm not here to win popularity polls or do anything anyone else thinks I should be doing. Done too much of that over the years...

[Three Roses]

I am one for whom medication has been an outstanding aid to helping me feel good enough to actively participate in healing.

I feel more like myself, have more energy and a somewhat brighter outlook. It's by no means a cure-all and I still have a ways to go, and hope someday to not need meds, but until then I feel better on than off of them.

[Kizzie]

As my earlier post outlined, I too am someone whom medication has helped tremendously.  It took me from one ongoing awful EF, hiding in my closet drinking to get through the day (not kidding unfortunately), to being back to work, to be better able to look at the trauma and pain I have endured rather than succumb to it, and begin to process and integrate it.  Please understand that I am not advocating that everyone should take medication, I am simply trying to add some balance to this discussion. I think we can all agree it is a good thing for some and not for others.

FWIW I have three suggestions when making a decision about whether to take medication and what type:

• Share your concerns openly with your GP, including negative material, and have a discussion so that you are informed about why they are prescribing it, the drug's efficacy, side effects, and what if any alternatives there are (medication or otherwise);
• talk to your pharmacist about the medication(s) and share your concerns.  I started doing this when I had chemo for ovarian cancer in 2007 and they worked with me and the hospital oncology staff to get better drugs when I was having side effects.  For example, I had constant, bad nausea even with the anti-nausea meds I was prescribed.  The staff at the hospital did nothing, but when I told my pharm she talked to them, and got them to switch me to what is considered the Cadillac of anti-nausea drugs.  It's quite expensive so the hospital wouldn't prescribe it, but when pushed they did. It was smooth sailing nausea wise after that
• If you are going to look at information on the Internet about a certain medications, be sure to look at a range of material so you can make as informed a decision as possible.

[radical]

I was talking with a psychiatrist/psychopharmacologist/researcher recently.  He was saying that he believed that anti-depressants can help promote psychological healing,  and improve mood and emotional resilience, but not because they remedy purported deficiencies in neurotransmitters like serotonin, as was once believed to be the case, but to the extent that they increase (in some people) BDNF (brain dervied neurotropic factor).
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brain-derived_neurotrophic_factor  He also said that anti-depressants are pretty primitive in increasing it, and in future, drugs based on existing drugs that are much better at increasing BDNF will be available to heal the brain, and promote neuroplasticity.  They wont need to be taken every day, and they wont work by sedating us or making us feel less.

This is particularly relevant for cPTSD because it is characterised by deficits in neural connectivity.  This loss of connectivity is caused by the damage associcated with long-term stress. BDNF promotes the growth of white matter (the connections between neurons) (and to a lesser extent the growth of new neurons, and is therefore the most important chemical involved in neuroplasticity.

He said that anti-depressants can be helpful for some people in healing from psychological injuries, but only to the extent that they increase BDNF, and this varies between individuals.

When they work, psychotherapy and other modes of healing can create new neural pathways and prune back dysfunctional circuits. We can learn to feel and function better.   We can learn to let go of the methods we used that allowed us to survive trauma, but which stop us from thriving in a post-traumatic world, and can close us off from enriching and healing experiences including healthy relationships.  Our abililty to do this depends, in part, on the extent to which our brains are able to "rewire".  It also depends on being away from the severe stressors that continue to inflict damage to our brains, and learning healthy methods of de-stressing from every-day stressors.

The reason I'm trying, and posssibly failing, to explain what we were talking about, is that many people don't benefit from anti-depressants at all.  I'm one of them.  They make me feel and function worse than I do without them.  Also, anti-depressants are just one thing that increases BDNF.  Exercise, a healthy diet, some dietary supplements, some drugs, relaxation, intermittent fasting (as part of a healthy diet) good sleep, sunlight, and every kind of  mental stimulation via new learning, cause it to increase.