Anyone else scared of psychiatric medication?

[Kizzie]

Great info Radical.  I can feel a difference in how I function after going through the neurofeedback which essentially does what you are suggesting - increases connectivity in the brain so that it functions more fully.  FWIW I liken having unprocessed trauma to a  record that has a scratch and the needle gets stuck playing the same thing over and over. The connectivity helps with getting us out of that groove by having more of the brain to process the trauma.

I just wanted to add to my post that I had to try a few different medications before landing on one that worked so the type of med can make a big difference. And when I say worked, I don't mean my CPTSD was gone, it was just that the over-reactivity (getting stuck in that emotional groove), I was experiencing was quietened enough that I could focus on therapy and getting well.   

[KestrelsFlight]

Personally I believe that it is okay and maybe healthy to be cautious or fearful about taking any medication designed to mess with our brains. I am weaning myself off of one drug now because of side effects. I am determined to tackle my anxiety, sleeplessness and physical symptoms without prescription drugs. That is why I am on this forum.

Too many people, things and past events have messed with my mind. I don't need drugs to fog me up any further.
I understand.

Kate

[Boatsetsailrose]

Thank you radical that is v interesting

[silentrhino]

I have to say that my  psych meds have saved my life.  My anxiety and OCD were crippling me, I became agoraphobic and had so many panic attacks I ended up in the ER multiple times convinced I was dying.  After refusing meds for over 10 years I made the decision to take a SSRI, I also take Xanax at times.  My whole life changed for the better and I feel like I am actually the me I was before the severe mental symptoms of C PTSD took over my life.  That being said, I still have severe symptoms, but I am know they are nothing like the * I used to live in before.  Before the meds my suicidality was severe and I was so close to the edge.  I am forever grateful something like this helps me. I'm not scared at all, just thankful.

[Boatsetsailrose]

Hi silent rhino this is my experience too ..
The difference between being on ssri and not is tremendous,
I can relate to the anxiety, OCD and suicidal content

[Donna]

Yes, I am wary of any psychotropic drugs & would not take any of them. 

[Three Roses]

I've been on a popular SSRI for a long time and probably would not be here without it. As I said in another thread, we cannot tell others what to do - we can only share our own personal experiences.

Here's a link to our Guidelines if you'd like to see them - http://outofthefog.net/C-PTSD/forum/index.php?topic=1616.0

[Kizzie]

I'm in the "the right med really helped me" camp.  When I say "right" med I was on one for decades that did little other than to help me keep my head above water.  Then when I feel apart about 4  years ago a psychiatrist switched me to another SSRI and I began to feel comfortable in my own skin for the first time ever.  I am not advocating everyone take meds though, I'm just suggesting they can be helpful, even a life saver for some of us.

[Lingurine]

Meds did help me too. At a certain point I realized I needed help to disentangle my brain a bit. We are all different, so for everyone is a different solution.

Lingurine

[silentrhino]

I was just reviewing this thread, I think it's interesting that so many people have the same struggles.  I always felt I was so alone but after so many decades and the advance of technology I realize I'm not.  I don't think anyone can advocate meds or not for another person, but it's just kind of sad that our lives and life experiences put us in the same place where we are experiencing similar psych problems across continents and time zones. Maybe if we had not been abused in the first place we would have no reason to reach out and contact each other. I am thankful for all the kindness I have experienced on this site, it is not something I am familiar with in a personal way.

[Slackjaw99]

Understand that it is in BIG PHARMA's interest in profit motive to keep us dependent on the 'latest and greatest' anti-psychotic/depressant that partially masks symptoms. I say "partially" because if symptoms are eliminated completely, then there'd be no market for the "next generation" multi-billion dollar "miracle" drug.  BIG PHARMA not only has no interest in developing medications to cure the root cause, they actively and clandestinely attack areas of research that do show promise of entirely eliminating symptoms and need for BIG PHARMA meds such as neurofeedback, TMS and psychedelic assisted therapy.

[WandaGershowitz]

I'm struggling tremendously with this issue right now. My therapist has suggested looking into medication several times, and I've come very close to getting an evaluation for meds from a psychiatrist, but have not been able to follow through yet.  I've discussed to my therapist many of the same fears that others expressed here - side-effects, the problematic nature of the pharmaceutical industry, and probably most of all,  the fear that the psychiatrist will dismiss my concerns. I've had more than my share of bad experiences with GPs who are sarcastic and dismissive with injuries or other physical health issues (I'm beginning to understand that this is a common experience for women), and have seen similar things happen to other women in my family. I've also been misdiagnosed a few times (non-mental health), and have had bad reactions to both conventional OTCs and prescriptions. My partner, who has been taking medication for the past three years, also thinks I should be on medication, and would likely not be supportive if I chose not to commit to medication if it were prescribed.

I've been able to manage anxiety in the past with regular exercise, a good diet, and supplements. Strategies I learned in therapy also helped to reduce the anxiety, but I'm at a transition point in my career/education, and am finding some big decisions very difficult to confront. I also had a minor head injury about six months ago, and while it wasn't as serious as it could have been, it left me feeling like I'd taken several steps back in my therapy journey.

There is something that seems kind of disempowering to me about taking psychiatric meds. When I take actions on my own, whether it's diet and exercise, yoga and meditation, or alternative treatments, I get a strong sense of satisfaction and genuinely decreased symptoms. However, I understand that not everyone can just "pull themselves out of it," and that there might be other issues I'm avoiding because my management strategies just aren't enough. I'm at the point where thinking about this, and the possibility of disappointing my therapist (which I know is irrational) is exacerbating the anxiety.
I don't fault or look down on anyone who finds benefit in medication, and I greatly appreciate all of the experiences and perspectives that others have shared here.

[Candid]

Your post makes great sense to me, Wanda.  Of all the doctors, counsellors etc. I've consulted, psychiatrists have been the most dismissive and the most likely to misdiagnose.  Obviously the one I saw involuntarily was the worst, but generally speaking they don't want to listen to the inner experience but focus entirely on judging outward appearance, speech and mannerisms. Since psyche means soul, I find their attitude hard to comprehend as well as very hard to take.

I think you're on the right track with exercise , diet, supplements and anxiety-reduction strategies, and I get what you're saying about the sense of being in control. I have a great horror of being the kind of woman who needs fistfuls of pills to get through the day.  I'm another one with a head injury, although mine was two years ago.  It can take a very long time to recover from that. I understand how the knowledge that "it could have been worse" blasts confidence, because I was just going about my normal routine when I tackled the tarmac with my head.  I could easily have died that day, and that's robbed me of a lot of my nerve,

There is something that seems kind of disempowering to me about taking psychiatric meds.

That's exactly how I feel.  And while I realise all drugs (and all foods) circulate regularly through the brain, psychiatric meds strike me as particularly scary because they are intended to change brain chemistry.  The long lead-in times and the necessity to wean off afterwards makes it a major commitment, and you want to be certain it's going to help... or at least not make things worse.

Seems to me difficult decision-making means the options are equally bad or equally good.  Often I wrestle with one so long that it makes itself, because other options have time limits.  When there's no rush to decide, I've noticed it's far better to wait and gather information than it is to go off half-cocked.

[WandaGershowitz]

Thank you so much, Candid, for your kind words, empathy, and for sharing your experiences. I'm so sorry you suffered a head injury, too. For me, it was (and remains) a surreal and emotionally as well as physically traumatic experience, and also happened in a totally banal way.

... psychiatric meds strike me as particularly scary because they are intended to change brain chemistry.  The long lead-in times and the necessity to wean off afterwards makes it a major commitment, and you want to be certain it's going to help... or at least not make things worse.

This is exactly what I'm talking about. I was definitely wary of medication before the head injury, but since then, I'm terrified to interrupt whatever healing remains, and I can't bring myself to trust doctors. I also understand that, like you said, many things influence our brain chemistry, but when I experience anxiety and/or depression I often feel like my brain just needs rest and quiet. The thought of flooding it with chemicals, when it feels like I need a break from overstimulation, is pretty unappealing. I'm still planning to meet with a psychiatrist at an integrative facility, and hopefully they will be able to prescribe treatment (either conventional or alternative) that suits my needs. It's comforting and empowering, however, to know that I have the option to refuse treatment if it doesn't feel right, and I don't have to accept diagnoses from doctors who don't take my concerns seriously. 

[Lilfae]

A lot of people have answered this thread already, but I wanted to throw in my own two cents and experiences.

First off, I live in Norway, which one of the worlds strictest countries when it comes to taking in pharmasueticals. And no doctors here recieve extra money for using one drug over another.

When I first got in contact with the psychiatric world I got medicated. I've tried a lot of anti depressants, anxiety, mood stabilizers, anti psychotic. I haven't tried everything,  but sometimes it feels that way. At one point they over medicated me and I had 18 pills a day of various sorts. Needless to say, I was catatonic and a zombie.  Thinking back on it now it was malpractice. 
I don't really remember if they had any affect on my depression at the time, but it reduced my suicidal tendencies. And they lowered my anxiety levels to a manageable state.  But I gained weight.  I gained 20kg. Which is a lot. I was already overweight and struggled (still do) deeply with body contempt.
When I finally got my mind "turned on " again I refused medical treatment except for Sobril. I was too ashamed of my body and I couldn't handle it getting any bigger. I've got a hormonal imbalance that affects my ability to lose weight.

But I do know people that needs medication. They do not function at all without them. And at times even barely functions with them.
And I can get behind the thought that medications should only be used for short amount of time, to give you a buffer through the darkest hours.

Besides Sobril (which is an anxiety medication with close to no side effects  - I've had none. Is also highly addictive and here you're not supposed to stay on it for more than 3 months) I've not had any medications for the past 13 years until last winter when I had a deep breakdown. I was too weak to object against medication,  but also I needed to sleep.  I had slept for 2-3 hours a night for 3 months before I said yes. It was bliss to be able to sleep again. But the weight increases..and after 6 months I said no more.

I understand you are scared and sceptical.  It does change the chemistry in your brain, but I do think in most cases the docs just want you to experience some relief and to come to a point where you can be receptive to therapy. And sometimes our chemistry has been changed to abnormal and the pills are supposed to rectify it.

I know this was a lot of back and forth.  Ultimately it is your decision.  It will be hard and rough going in therapy.  And sometimes I wonder if it would have been easier if I had said yes to it.