I keep checking for replies...

[Ladybug]

Because I desperately want/need support. Replies to my other posts about starting therapy back recently; or now, to this one. I don't want to die, but often I think about how much easier it would be to be dead. Anyone else? I'm just in such a bad place all the support I have right now is this forum.

[Ladybug]

I feel like I'm obsessive/compulsive checking for replies, and I get disappointed when there aren't any.

[keepfighting]

Hi, Ladybug,

getting started in an online community is always a bit tricky.

This is a very supportive community and people are willing to offer support, but you have to understand that all of us are suffering from CPTSD and in order to integrate into the community you have to offer some as well as receive some. So joining into other people's threads and showing an interest in others is probably a good idea - let people get to know you and you get to know them.

There is an active thread about the very point you'd like to discuss right here: http://outofthefog.net/C-PTSD/forum/index.php?topic=1634.0 . Maybe you'd like to join in that discussion?

Sometimes getting a response might take hours or even days, so if you are in need of immediate support please try and use one of the following resources: http://outofthefog.net/C-PTSD/forum/index.php?topic=82.0.

Sending good thoughts and a  your way.

[Ladybug]

Thank you keepfighting. I'm not quite in crisis and I found the active thread very helpful. 

[Boatsetsailrose]

*possible triggers *

I can relate to what u are saying - in the past I have spent time pre occupied with ' better dead ' thoughts and did start to put into action when I was v depressed - now I see it was all a sign of my desperation of my mood, negative mental health and  difficulty in life and relationships and crushing low self worth-- and grief

I don't feel like that today and I am v grateful for all the support of I have received from different sources -

I've needed and sought someone to talk to for most of my adult life - so far
Each yr I feel I've grown to become more of who I really am with freedom of my difficulties ...
I feel quite stable and am now seeing a child trauma specialist
Finding a support may be of help to you ...
Wishing u all the best on u recovery journey to Health