General Announcements, Ideas, Thoughts, & Reflections

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C.

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General Announcements, Ideas, Thoughts, & Reflections
« on: May 18, 2015, 08:54:02 PM »
Reminder: In order to honor our group process we ask that only current ASCA workbook group members post and respond here please.  If you would like to join in at this time or a later date please send the moderator a PM.  Thank you.

Note:  Your recovery is unique to you.  These topics and activities are suggestions.  Please feel free to do and respond to those that work for you at this time.

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C.

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Re: General Announcements, Ideas, Thoughts, & Reflections
« Reply #1 on: May 20, 2015, 03:28:27 AM »
I don't know if just me, but Im finding these topics a bit depressing and unpleasant for me at the moment.  I think if I were to work through this book again Id cycle it differently.  Like a remembering step, then a mourning step, then a healing step, then remembering, mourning, healing, each week.  So many weeks focused on remembering and mourning feels too sad for me.  I want to focus on healing sooner.

It's ok w/me to stick w/our original plan, but this is something I've been thinking about for several days and I recently found the words to express myself.

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anosognosia

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Re: General Announcements, Ideas, Thoughts, & Reflections
« Reply #2 on: May 21, 2015, 04:58:14 PM »
 :sadno:  I've come to the recent realization that I've adopted more and more of my F's narcissistic traits.

I'm kind of battling this realization right now and it's been bothering me for the last few days. 


....

I look forward to this week's exercises though, they seem very deep and thought provoking.

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C.

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Re: General Announcements, Ideas, Thoughts, & Reflections
« Reply #3 on: May 21, 2015, 07:22:29 PM »
I  hope that you're compassionate with yourself about that.  It's an important awareness as a parent. My t reminds me it's normal to adopt some behaviors and thought patterns from our parents.  That doesn't mean we are NPD.  I've seen here and other places on the forum that you are a dedicated parent, and a kind and compassionate person.  I hope your day is ok.  I'm thinking of you right now and wishing you the best :-)

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Kizzie

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Re: General Announcements, Ideas, Thoughts, & Reflections
« Reply #4 on: May 21, 2015, 10:31:28 PM »
HI C - I'm open to giving your plan a try just to see how it goes.  It kind of reflects how my recovery is going anyway (i.e.,  I'm finding I'm at different stages with various issues/behaviours). And I like the idea of working on a step that is more positive (healing) as we go along - helps to see some positive gains.

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Kizzie

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Re: General Announcements, Ideas, Thoughts, & Reflections
« Reply #5 on: May 21, 2015, 10:36:46 PM »
HI Anos - Sorry to hear you're struggling with the idea that you may have some N traits.  I'm with C though, it doesn't mean you have NPD. Pete Walker and other T's suggest that a degree of narcissism is actually healthy sd :hug: and here are two links that talk about that - https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201201/the-healthy-side-narcissism  and https://afternarcissisticabuse.wordpress.com/about/diagnosis-npd/

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VeryFoggy

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Re: General Announcements, Ideas, Thoughts, & Reflections
« Reply #6 on: May 22, 2015, 01:56:06 AM »
Ano - I have never thought of you that way at all.  You have remarkable composure under fire sometimes. Not like an NPD at all!  They would crack and disintegrate into rage. And I agree with Kizzie, some Narcissism is good and healthy.  Without it we are just sitting ducks, just targets for the more Narcissistic to use for target practice. So I hope you think deeply on this and not jump to conclusions and beat yourself up unfairly!

C.  This part has not bothered me too much, and I thought I had done all the remembering and mourning last year, but it was okay to revisit.  Mainly I guess because I am going through even more losses this year. So for me it was okay. And I already feel like I am healing.  Slowly.  Though I do have daily setbacks.

Kizzie - Thanks for the links and I love that website after narcissistic abuse.  I read the whole thing in one week recently.  It really helped me.

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C.

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Re: General Announcements, Ideas, Thoughts, & Reflections
« Reply #7 on: May 22, 2015, 03:42:52 PM »
Yeah VF, I think I'm just coming out of a 5 year (46 year including childhood off & on?) depression combined so I'm more sensitive right now.  And maybe it's a bit of my personality I feel like I understand the problem well enough now and I'm ready to start focusing on solutions.  I see everyone in this group as being positive people too, all dedicated to self-improvement and recovery or we wouldn't be here.

I think I'll post a new thread with the idea of modifying the schedule: like we could do healing step 15 next week, then step 11, then 16, then 12, then 17, then 13, then 18, then 14, then 19, 20, & 21.

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VeryFoggy

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Re: General Announcements, Ideas, Thoughts, & Reflections
« Reply #8 on: May 23, 2015, 01:16:01 AM »
Yes C.  I see your point and majority rules, but due to my personal trials and tribulations I am okay with the way it has been.  I do see the boredom for others though who are more advanced.  Whatever works best for all will be okay with me, and I can always just keep my keyboard quiet for a week!