Self Help Activity 2: Personal appearance preferences and updates

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C.

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Reminder: In order to honor our group process we ask that only current ASCA workbook group members post and respond here please.  If you would like to join in at this time or a later date please send the moderator a PM.  Thank you.

Note:  Your recovery is unique to you.  These topics and activities are suggestions.  Please feel free to do and respond to those that work for you at this time.

2.   Take a look at yourself in the mirror. Does your appearance reflect the entitlement and confidence you feel?  In our society, image and appearance are important, although some people overdo it.  And looking good on the outside can go along with feeling good on the inside. Your self-esteem, long suppressed by the burden of shame, may also be clamoring to be part of the image you present to the world. In this last stage of recovery, many survivors begin making cosmetic changes to their appearance to reflect their new, more positive feelings about themselves.  Altering your wardrobe, getting a more stylish haircut or working yourself back into shape are all ways to take initiative in altering the way you present yourself to the world.


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Kizzie

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Re: Self Help Activity 2: Personal appearance preferences and updates
« Reply #1 on: May 28, 2015, 09:17:05 PM »
So my biggest voice I'm hearing is to lose weight and keep it off.  I have yo-yo'd for years in terms of my weight and I now realize food has been a consistent and easily available source of comfort/ reward. I quit smoking and drinking, but food has been really tough. I suppose that's partly because you can't quit eating altogether and partly because for me whatever is driving the behaviour hasn't been dealt with yet. I do know about it is that the one truly safe time of day when my IC feels free and happy is to snuggle down into bed with a snack and read a good book. That's hard to give up and when I think about doing so I can feel my IC begin to rebel.   

Healing will mean looking at that need up close and personal to see what is driving it and what I can do about it. I've "succeeded" in losing weight many times, but like many people I could not manage to keep it off.  I don't want to just grit my teeth this time, lose a bunch of weight, sigh with relief and then start eating the way I used to only to yo-yo again.

I want this for myself, I'm just not sure how to get there.   

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C.

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Re: Self Help Activity 2: Personal appearance preferences and updates
« Reply #2 on: May 29, 2015, 01:57:52 AM »
I recently updated my spring wardrobe and purged some of my unwanted clothes.  I have noticed that I've been struggling a bit to keep up my appearance and it does affect my emotions.  I am trying to color my hair on time, wear clothes that are attractive, not too tight or too loose, enjoy personal hygiene.  The basics.  But this is a reminder of the importance.

And weight, yes that's been a challenge for me for 20+ years.  It's hard because I want to lose weight, but I want to feel good about how I look in the here and now.  I find those two ideas interrelate somehow for me.  So even though I know I'm overweight when I feel good about how I look I am more careful about how I eat and exercise.  When I feel bad about how I look due to my weight I don't eat as well.

As an aside to this idea I've been thinking about the neurotransmitters related to sugar and unhealthy eating.  I'm planning to do a bit more research to understand that part because I think it will help me to monitor my eating more.  I know that I used to crave sugar when I felt tired, then I realized if I was tired I needed to rest, or not overextend or make some change to respond to feeling tired besides sugar.  But sugar is a quick fix for energy so I was getting a need met, but with an undesirable consequence.

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VeryFoggy

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Re: Self Help Activity 2: Personal appearance preferences and updates
« Reply #3 on: May 29, 2015, 03:18:35 AM »
I have been a yo-yoer all of my life. It has lessened, after I finally found something I could believe in.  I started it 3.5 years ago.  My yo-yoing has stayed much more tightly controlled. I have to say that being involved with the authors of the book, getting their personal attention through handwritten notes, emails, and gifts like T- shirts and recipe books also helped.  But it has become a way of life and not one I plan on giving up because I do not feel deprived.

It's called Turbocharged  It's a book, and you can get it on Amazon. And it works. It's basically fruit for breakfast, vegetables for lunch and protein for dinner.  And you exercise all day.  But just a little. To actually lose weight you have to exercise more.  Walking mainly. But to maintain you just exercise a little all day. And some walking.  Example I do 60 squats while I am brushing my teeth.  That counts! I do 40 pushups while I wait for the coffee to brew.  Just stuff like that. They have a web site. Turbocharged.us.com.  I am featured under Success Stories, but my name is not Very Foggy! You can go there and guess who I am.

I do snack in bed too.  I eat unshelled pistachios so I have to "work" for it.  But it is a very satisfying snack.

Anyway the trick for me was finding something I believed in, that worked. And did not leave me hungry, and was not too much work.

I have let the exercising go, but I picked it back up for the last week and am feeling much better about my body.

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VeryFoggy

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Re: Self Help Activity 2: Personal appearance preferences and updates
« Reply #4 on: May 30, 2015, 01:44:03 AM »
I know what I would like to do but it is so not in the budget.  I would like to get a complete face and neck lift.  A lot of people tell me I look like I am in my late 40's. I will be 58 in 2 weeks.  BUT!  I feel so young inside of me that it scares me when I look in the mirror and see this woman who looks nothing like I feel looking back at me.

I know it is vain, or I think it is. But on the other hand I think if it really does bother me to not look like me?  Maybe it is worth saving up for. I can fix the body if I put my mind to it.  But I cannot fix the face.