Self Help Activity 3: New Roles to Develop & Practice the "New You"

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C.

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Reminder: In order to honor our group process we ask that only current ASCA workbook group members post and respond here please.  If you would like to join in at this time or a later date please send the moderator a PM.  Thank you.

Note:  Your recovery is unique to you.  These topics and activities are suggestions.  Please feel free to do and respond to those that work for you at this time.

3.   Gradually start to take on roles in your life that will allow you to use these newly developing healthy parts. Consider becoming a Co-Secretary at ASCA meetings or signing on for a special committee project at work. If you are a parent, become involved in your child(ren)'s school or extracurricular activities. These new roles will let you display your developing strengths and start to consolidate all of your recovery-related changes into an integrated whole, the "new you" you present to the world.

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VeryFoggy

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Re: Self Help Activity 3: New Roles to Develop & Practice the "New You"
« Reply #1 on: June 07, 2015, 04:14:05 PM »
Lately I have been doing a lot of things I never used to do.  I have kicked people out of my life that don't add value, or who cause me pain.  I have a standing date with my daughter to go to her house once a week and help her with her 10 month old. I have started standing up to my son.  I took a course in Verbal Abuse Defense and have the certificate posted on my refrigerator to remind everyone. And everyone in this house knows I do not allow ANTHING to be posted on the fridge.  So if I posted it front and center?  It is IMPORTANT!

I have just this morning decided that I need to start forcing myself to start doing things completely out of my comfort zone.  I am trying to think of some. One thing I decided I might do is go to a restaurant on the lake with outdoor seating and order a drink, and maybe an appetizer and sit there all alone and people watch and enjoy the view and atmosphere. I never do that. Maybe I could take my dogs with me for moral support. They would be conversation starters too.

I think I need to do things that are pleasant but that challenge me.

What are some of you doing?  I am looking for ideas.




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C.

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Re: Self Help Activity 3: New Roles to Develop & Practice the "New You"
« Reply #2 on: June 07, 2015, 07:15:19 PM »
I like the restaurant idea.  Yes, I've done that sometimes and it is empowering.  I'm particular about the food, the kindness of the staff, and selecting a place that doesn't put me in ears shot of irritating conversation (gossip, backbiting, complaining).  In fact I did so a couple of weeks ago and overheard some very interesting conversation about local development plans.  The waitress was happy to speak Spanish w/me (my preference) and the other staff very kind.  The food was mediocre, I'll stick w/desserts there.

I went to a "Qigong" class today.  It's a bit of a combination of yoga/martial arts/skillful balance/reiki energy work.  I loved it.  Again positives were setting, instructor and participants.  I'll be going back. 

What about a dog park?  I find people in those settings, who have socially skillful dogs, are often kind as well.  And just seeing the animals is a lot of fun.

I know what you mean by pleasant, and a challenge.  For a while I went to a social dance setting that was mildly appropriate.  But there's an unpleasant element of N in those settings so I've stopped for the moment.  It's also a great opportunity to meet kind people.  But, it's mixed...like the best and the worst in one room lol

I've also thought about local community college classes.  Like learning about geology or photography or something completely new and interesting.

Again the keys for me are I need the following to be positive:  the "leader", the setting, and the majority of the participants.  As for any unpleasant people interactions I view it as "practice," but I also might not go back...

Good luck w/these activities.  Keep us posted! ;D :hug: