HIghly Sensitive People and Empaths

[Kubali]

Hello everyone

I'm just wondering is there any one else here that would class themselves as an HSP or an Empath?

I've been reading so many posts that contain highly intelligent and insightful language. Some are beautifully written and obviously come deep from within (soul)

There must be a correlation between CPTSD and the above mentioned traits. It stands to reason that we suffer so much on so many levels, because we have these gifts. Or rather curses??

Kubali

[Boatsetsailrose]

Me
I first came across Elaine's book 'hsp and ticked all the boxes !
I was relieved to put a name and find literature on this trait -
Nature or nurture it's an interesting debate
I have learnt to calm down the empath bit as it just got too much - I seem to be able to work more from my mind with this now rather than 'living others emotions -
Curse or gift ? Well for me a gift now I live a more spiritual life but before that a curse I'd say as I just didn't seem to have boundary between me and the world ! Our society is not really geared up for hsp I'd say

[woodsgnome]

Good observation, Kubali--thanks for bringing it up.

I say I don't like to categorize but I do anyway; probably to help make sense of the unfathomable tugs/pulls of the cptsd travels/travails. Anyway, I come in at the high extremes of what passes for HSP.

Funny, one of the first questions therapists (I've gone through 9) ask is invariably "are you easily startled?". My answer is always ready--Not at all, quite the opposite, I'm hyper-alert to everything and everybody. Although I guess some of that could be considered intuition. So if there's a positive take on some of the cptsd "effects" it's that our intuitive sides can be uniquely developed that way. But the curse is indeed the tendency to notice so much that it easily overwhelms, and in my case it's the sense of critiquing a situation to be sure the activity or person won't hurt me. Sometimes consciously, often I'm unconscious of it, but it's always there anyway; good/bad, I guess.

Empathy...big time there, too. I've been naturally drawn to volunteer roles with hospice and headstart pre-school programs. My attraction? I find non-judgmental people there, which counteracts my hesitation with social situations. Similarly, in my offbeat "career" as an actor/educator  my intuitive/sensitive nature has allowed me to be effective in those roles as well.

This is just me, but I'd hesitate to call these traits "gifts". Granted they're probably positive which somehow stemmed from negative origins. They happened in spite of the pain we endured, but none of us would volunteer to go there again to receive our "gift". I just feel odd to think that it was good to endure the pain no matter the positive end. 

Truly a paradox, but I'm quibbling with words...ah yes, another obvious cptsd outcome, for me--I tend to tread carefully in writing, as it was once a given I'd be misunderstood, no matter what I tried to say. Stop me before my inner critic pours it on!



   

[Kubali]

To Boatsetsailrose and Woodsgnome

Thank you for replying. I have often wondered about this and it's comforting to know that others have experienced the same thing. Yes the author Elaine Aaron certainly had interesting and insightful things to say. I found it a revelation that there were other people who struggled with overwhelment. I thought it was just me being 'weak' . No doubt I acquired this label from my FOO!

It's a curious thing that labels can be either discriminatory or a comfort. Another illustration of the subjective truth of our existence. I believe that our perception can be changed with patience and consistency. It's raising the awareness of deeply held negative beliefs that can be so exhausting. Thought monitoring is a trait I inherited from my abusive background, but I guess it's come in useful when it's reframed as Mindfulness.

I am similar to you both, this is enlightening! Before I felt alienated from the rest of the human race. So thank you for sharing your thoughts. It is truly helpful to receive positive mirroring don't you think?
Kubali

[PaintedBlack]

I've been reading so many posts that contain highly intelligent and insightful language. Some are beautifully written and obviously come deep from within (soul)

I feel the same way!  It's almost like there is some magical quality to this place.  Like I found it by opening a loose panel in the back of my wardrobe.  For a few days I kept thinking, "Here they are!  I've finally found my people!" 

[Kubali]

To Paintedblack

I agree wholeheartedly with you. Here is a sense of belonging. Of being understood. Of being accepted.

Oh the relief!!

Kubali

[Boatsetsailrose]

Absolutely - sanctuary and support and hope

[Boatsetsailrose]

I believe I was hsp regardless of upbringing ...
It was evident to me at a young age that I connected acutely with nature and could connect in with energies and the unseen - ie spirit folk of other realms

[hypervigilante]

Where do you recommend looking for more information about HSP and empath as you describe?

I'm loving all the self-aware answers in this dialogue! I'm curious where to explore to see if I can contribute feedback as well.

[Boatsetsailrose]

Hi hyperv

Here is a link this author wrote a v good book and I think she is the top person to read
There is also a self test on her site

http://hsperson.com

[coda]

When I first saw the list for HSP traits I almost fell off my chair. The shock of recognition was almost too great. Here were the very things I'd learned to hate about myself, and hide from others. I grew up being called "over-sensitive", a dismissal spat out in frustration and contempt. Any concession from my mother, like removing the tags from my clothes, or being 'allowed' to wear sunglasses, were borne with the heavy weight of martyrdom and the implicication that I was difficult and weird.

That embarrassment paled next to the torture of being able to read and empathize with my family members, a skill none of them shared or wanted. These were feelings I could not turn off, and still can't.

It took me too long to work out that being different in that family wasn't just about survival skills but innate gifts. I have to say they have not always served me well, because I used them exclusively for their benefit and grew up knowing no other way to relate to the wider world. Perhaps the worst damage came from their scorn. I developed a deep shame about things I felt or sensed, about being wholly different from others.

So to see these characteristics listed and discussed, to learn that so many others experience the same strong, sometimes overpowering, sensations and emotions...it's just such a relief. And that it doesn't mean you're nuts or impossible or touchy or a brat or being selfish, ridiculous or a big baby (all of which was said to me)? What a gift to everyone who thought they were alone.

[Dutch Uncle]

What's an "empath"?

Sounds pretty dodgy to me.

[Cocobird]

I'm definitely an HSP. It was such a relief to read Aron's book -- it made feel that possibly I was an okay person, and it resolved a lot of guilt.

[arpy1]

wow, this thread is a bit of an eyeopener... it may mean that i am not weird.... i must research this. thanks

[chairmanmeow]

Empathy is learned thru our own suffering and vulnerability. I dont believe people are unique snowflakes our own humanity is something we must gain thru experience, and some of us have been unfortunate enough to be over acquainted with ourselves in a world that encourages sociopathic behavior. thats what I think anyway...