Question and looking for suggestions that have helped others (Triggers)

[3of5]

I have had 3 people whom are family members that have told me that I could always turn to them even when I just need shoulder to cry on. But then when I finally try to turn to them, I get proverbially smacked with "Stop the drama!", which in turn causes me to feel really bad about myself, and to feel alone and almost like "I had better just shut up, and go away".
That is the best I can describe how it makes me feel when I feel sad/depressed and then not even being able to get out one sentence before the "Drama" label gets thrown.

I just want to know if anyone else has had this happen to them and what worked the best for you, or even what helps you, in dealing with this kind of situation.

[Dutch Uncle]

That's a very tough situation you have been put in, 3of5  :sad no:

I have felt 'let down' by my family members in many ways too, while they have always claimed they "would be there" for me.
I am slowly starting to accept that this is only talk. It has been always talk, and it will always be talk.

It hurts me a lot that the people who have claimed I could count on them, have continuously let me down when I have taken up on their offer. Only to receive either another put down, or indifference.


I've learned to to turn to them anymore, but to search for support elsewhere.

You're not alone in this.

[3of5]

Thank you so Hysperger for reminding me that I am not alone in all of this, and what you said about working on realising that it just talk actually sounds like a good idea.
I am someone who actually will talk to themselves and just cry and give voice what I feel inside when no one is around to hear. My Husband doesn't look down me for it at all. He told me once though when he has come home from work and he just happens to hear me; that it sounds like I am on the phone talking to someone.
The wall can be a great listener... It never interrupts, nor puts you down, however it doesn't give very good feedback. LOL
Thank you again for the idea and for reminding me I am not alone in this. 

[Dutch Uncle]

I am someone who actually will talk to themselves and just cry and give voice what I feel inside when no one is around to hear. My Husband doesn't look down me for it at all. He told me once though when he has come home from work and he just happens to hear me; that it sounds like I am on the phone talking to someone.
The wall can be a great listener... It never interrupts, nor puts you down, however it doesn't give very good feedback. LOL

Ah, a true kindred spirit  .
I do this too. In fact, since I have started to voice my inner conversations, I am making progress.

That the wall doesn't give any feedback is at times even an advantage  .


Take care, 3of5

[FredrickaGoshlox]

What a mean trick.

From now on assume they are lying. Go to friends and other people you trust, such as a therapist you like, when you need a shoulder to cry on. Obviously they are playing mind games with you.

That really stinks and I'm very sorry for your pain.

[Foresaken]

I have had the same kind of experience.  People, family, claiming that they would be here for me, but when it was time to step up, where no where to be seen.

I was called over sensitive , I was called dramatic, I was called crazy.  I was called those things to shut me up.

Eventually, I did "shut up" by shutting them out.  NC. Has been my path to peace.  It's been over two years now, and it's been a difficult journey, but my soul is healing.

I am hyper vigilant about letting people get close to me, but once I weeded out the toxic people, I began to listen to my instincts and forge healthier relationships.  I spend a lot of time in therapy.  I have to be my own mother.

It's sad, really sad, when you can't count on the people you're supposed to trust, when they belittle your problems.  I'm sorry this happened to you.  You are not alone.  ((Hug))