Someone please help...

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HopefulSeeker

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Someone please help...
« on: June 11, 2015, 03:12:09 PM »
Hi all, I'm pretty new here so just learning the ropes.

I'm in a bit of a dark place, haven't slept properly in a few days because of strong dreams and when I'm tired I tend to have powerful memories that I leave my present moment.

I don't know much CPTSD but through reading a bit I've realized a lot of the criteria matches what I'm experiencing. I just feel so alone with hit, I can't focus on my work properly, I run daily to keep my health in check and I eat properly. But the motivation to do all of these things is leaving after a few months of exhaustion, vomiting (after having memories) and simply feeling alienated it's difficult to continue. I find myself having wine and drinking more than my usual amount. I find myself fantasising about hurting myself (I don't) and it's all-together unfamiliar and terrifying.

Can anyone give me some helpful tips as to how to deal with memories that are so strong you forget where you are? How to work on letting go of this deep shame and self-loathing I feel?

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keepfighting

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Re: Someone please help...
« Reply #1 on: June 11, 2015, 06:21:24 PM »
Hi, HS,

I am very sorry that you are going through all of this and feel so alone in it.   :hug:

It sounds to me like you might be experiencing an EF (emotional flashback). Are you familiar with Pete Walker's work on CPTSD?

Here is a link to his website, in case you don't know it yet: http://www.pete-walker.com/

There are some very helpful tips on how to deal with EFs (and other symptoms) on his website.

On this board, there is also a childboard that is entirely dedicated to dealing with EFs. http://outofthefog.net/C-PTSD/forum/index.php?board=57.0

The only 'tips' I can give you is that it often helps me to do a grounding exercise to feel connected to the present again (I like to take a large sip of cold water and concentrate on the sensation when it slides down my throat). It also helps to know what the triggers are/were. Some are rather obvious and relatively easy to avoid, but sometimes I get triggered by something unexpected (like a smell or a particular shade of light or something like that) and that's harder recognize as a trigger. Not sure if this is of any use to you???

Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone any more.  Glad you have found us. :hug:

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HopefulSeeker

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Re: Someone please help...
« Reply #2 on: June 15, 2015, 09:56:53 AM »
Hi keepfighting,

I haven't heard of Pete Walker and his website seems to have a lot of useful information - thanks!! EF is perhaps what I am experiencing...

The water drinking tip is useful, I usually sit down cross-legged, palms on the ground and try to reconnect. But drinking water is easier to do at work ;)

Much thanks for the support.

Re: Someone please help...
« Reply #3 on: June 17, 2015, 05:25:46 AM »
You may also want to go to your search engine and put in "Mindfulness." I found this EXTREMLY helpful. It is a coping skill that helps you focus on the here and now rather than the past or future.

Lots of luck to you.