What do your flashbacks feel like? Part 1

[Badmemories]

Cool! You are the women!   

[Kizzie]

Wow Cat, you are the woman!     

Tks for all your work on this   

[Rrecovery]

Curious about the "itchies" especially at night - an itch pops up and the second you scratch it another pops up somewhere else and so on... can go on for hours.  Perhaps I'm the only one - it's definitely an odd one - but it only happens to me in an EF.

[schrödinger's cat]

I get itchy when I'm stressed, too. It's really annoying.

Rrecovery, it's in the list under "general malaise", here:

General malaise - feeling itchy; existing conditions may get worse .... .

[Rrecovery]

Hi SC,

Thank you, yes, I see it.  Thank you for this comprehensive list.  It feels validating 

[schrödinger's cat]

Thanks. Yay! I'm happy this has helped someone.    But goodness me, has this list ever grown in size.

[Milarepa]

First I get really agitated and anxious. Then I have a lot of thoughts of violent and gruesome self-harm and feel the urge to destroy everything fragile I can get my hands on. Finally I freeze up and feel helpless and broken and disgusting and worthless. I rotate through these three experiences until it either resolves on its own (after weeks or months) or, more recently, until I realize I'm in a flashback and do the 13 steps.

[schrödinger's cat]

Hi Milarepa! Thanks for that. I can't believe I never thought to add shame and self-harm. Such an obvious point, in hindsight. It's surprisingly difficult to actually be aware of what's happening during an EF - I freeze up so fast, it's hard to stay present. I also added what you said about cycling through stages. It's in the last of the three introductory paragraphs.

[Kizzie]

Cat - Could I add your list to the glossary? There's a short description of EF's there, but this is great additional info that could be added as a link.

[schrödinger's cat]

Add away!

A suggestion: maybe you could add a link to the subforum on EFs, in case the list raises questions?

[Kizzie]

Will do, tks for the suggestion 

[Milarepa]

Curious about the "itchies" especially at night - an itch pops up and the second you scratch it another pops up somewhere else and so on... can go on for hours.  Perhaps I'm the only one - it's definitely an odd one - but it only happens to me in an EF.

This happens to me constantly. I basically always feel like I have bugs crawling on my skin.

[Rrecovery]

Hi Milarepa, It's maddening isn't it?  I have found a way to quiet it:  I get it lying in bed trying to sleep - I realized that I tend to tense my muscles (curl up) and my breathing gets very shallow.  If I consciously relax my muscles and breathe more deeply it goes away.  Hope this helps you 

[Phoebes]

I echo what you have all said. Rrecovery, that is it in a nutshell for me. I get shaky, racing thoughts, racing heartbeat. Insomnia with all of the above. Major toxic shame attacks, suicidal ideation, very tense and withdraw until it goes away. Then feel wiped out, hopeless.

[Milarepa]

Hi Milarepa, It's maddening isn't it?  I have found a way to quiet it:  I get it lying in bed trying to sleep - I realized that I tend to tense my muscles (curl up) and my breathing gets very shallow.  If I consciously relax my muscles and breathe more deeply it goes away.  Hope this helps you 

Thanks! I'll give that a try. :-)